


Just Closer to God (You Could Call Me Your Heaven)

by Blink_Blue



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Bondage, Borderline Personality Disorder, Breathplay, Car Accidents, Catholic Guilt, Choking, Codependency, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Panic Attacks, Poop is funny, Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sex Toys, The D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Trust Issues, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-10-12 19:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 59,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10497822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blink_Blue/pseuds/Blink_Blue
Summary: As Mac edges closer to being out of the closet, Dennis finds something in his friend that he hadn't realized he'd been craving: the thrill of the chase. He tells himself he just wants to see how far he can take it. What he doesn't realize, is that too far may break them both.OR: an in depth look at the D.E.N.N.I.S. system, not as a foolproof method of seduction, but as a subconscious, self-sabotaging way of life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first contribution to the Sunny fandom. I do go out of my way to keep everybody in character, as faithful to the show as possible, so take from that what you will. All warnings inherent to the show apply. 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated!

A rumor floats around the local patrons of Paddy’s Pub, one that eventually makes its way to Dennis’ curious ears. It’s unsettling for two reasons. First, Dennis is used to being the one talked about. He fancies himself always being the subject of local gossip. This rumor, however, doesn’t involve him. And second, these whispers are  _dirty._

No one is clear on who started it, but everyone hears murmurs about the bouncer at Paddy’s that was seen giving some guy a blowjob in an alley next to the gay bar over on Locust Street. 

Frank doesn’t give two shits about the subject when Dennis brings it up. He chuckles with an open mouth full of meatball hoagie as marinara sauce drips down his shirt. 

Dee just pulls a face when she hears. “About damn time,” she snorts, wiping another glass behind the bar before stepping away.

Charlie nods and licks something off his fingers that looks suspiciously like rubber cement glue. “No surprise there.” Charlie’s eyes are a bit crossed as he stares at his moist fingers. “Don’t know why he doesn’t just come out with it already. We've all known forever.”

So Dennis forces down the rumblings in his chest that feel an awful lot like fury and he silently storms away. Apparently, he’s the only one bothered by news that isn’t really news. Mac is as gay as the day is long. Everyone knows it but Mac. The guy stubbornly refuses to admit the truth to anyone, even himself. So why does it bother him so much? Why does the image of Mac on his knees in some dirty alley with a stranger’s cock in his mouth and spit dribbling down his chin incite such rage in him?

_Fucking slut._

Christ, that thought came out of nowhere.  Dennis closes his eyes and gives his head a quick shake. He shouldn’t be thinking about his best friend like that. But the word blares obnoxiously in his head, over and over again like a siren. _Slut._ He’s not being homophobic-he doesn’t care who Mac bangs. Man, woman, or something else in between. But if Mac is going around sucking guys’ dicks, why the fuck isn’t he sucking Dennis’ dick?

Goddamn, sometimes he  _hates_ Mac. 

He almost feels wronged somehow. Like something was stolen from him. And though a small rational part of him acknowledges that he has no right to feel this way, another side of him thinks that he’s _owed_ something. 

And sometimes Dennis thinks the closer Mac is to coming to terms with his sexuality, and accepting it for what it is, eventually to reach the point of no return, the deeper he falls into sin. Which is just ridiculous, and simply untrue. It’s the bible that says homosexuality is a sin. And Dennis doesn’t believe the words of the bible, even if Mac does.

Dennis straightens with a jolt and brings himself back to the present. Out the corner of his eye, he sees Mac walk out of the bathroom to approach Charlie at the bar. Dennis schools his expression and licks his dry lips as he watches the guys talk from across the empty bar. 

As he watches them, Mac throws his head back in laughter. Has Mac heard the rumors about himself? Does he even care? What would he think if he knew in Dennis’ head plays an image of him on his knees with a cock between his lips? And most importantly, does Mac enjoy the taste of cock on his tongue?

Hm. 

Dennis thinks Mac probably tastes a bit like sin himself. Well, he plans to find out for sure. 

And he could, _so_ easily. Hell, in moments of weakness, Mac’s tried to kiss him more than once. It’d hardly take any effort at all. 

He's long been aware of Mac’s infatuation with him. His little crush that manifests in looks that aren't well-hidden, shy smiles whenever Dennis does something Dennis-like, and every once in awhile Mac will whisper his name in his sleep in a voice that's far too husky to be anything other than sexual.

Dennis wonders about Mac’s dreams, the ones that feature him, of course. It's just mild curiosity. Or maybe it's his extreme vanity that causes him to fixate on it. What do they do in Mac’s dreams? Does Dennis suck his cock? Or is it the other way around? There’s a stirring in his pants as he imagines Mac’s lips wrapped around him, and all the other dirty things they could do to each other. 

Mac has always been within reach. He hasn’t exactly been subtle over the years, despite how much he’d like to believe otherwise. Dennis knows him better than he knows himself. And the truth is, Dennis could have him anytime he wants. He just never reached out for him. 

That changes now. 

Now, Dennis pushes a glass of whiskey in front of the other man. “Drink up, buddy. It’s closing time.” He lifts his own glass and they clink them together gently. 

Mac throws back his glass, which was significantly more than a shot, and slams it back on the counter with a grin. “What do you want to do tonight?” Mac leans over the bar, resting on his elbows. “Charlie said we should come over. Something about a flamethrower he and Frank fished out of a dumpster. We should check it out! What do you think?”

“Nah, don’t feel like it.” Dennis shakes his head as he fills their glasses again. “Had enough of those two for one day.”

“Oh. Okay!” Mac nods quickly like he never wanted to do that anyway. “Well, what do you wanna do? I’m not really feelin’ like heading back to Dee’s place so soon, ya know?” Mac leans closer and lowers his voice. “Old Man keeps showing up earlier and earlier every damn night.”

Dennis smirks. Their recent living situation has not been easy. Dee's tiny little bed is too fucking small for four people. 

_“Bye losers.”_

They look up to see Dee walking towards the door. 

“Bye, bird.” They say simultaneously, before breaking into peals of laughter. 

Dennis flashes a smile as his eyes flicker to Mac’s face while the other man looks away. It’s almost too easy. Things are always easy with Mac. It makes him wonder why he hadn’t tried this before. Mac’s a good-looking guy. He'd probably be a decent lay. And it’s not like Dennis has an issue with guys.

_It’s Mac._

Not some random broad that he's going to bang and never call again. Not some stranger he’s going to trick into his bed with lies that slip easily from his tongue. Yet as he tops off their glasses again, he realizes there’s something wonderfully familiar about this. 

Mac rambles on about some inane topic, and Dennis nods along like he’s listening, just like he always does. He quickly recognizes the feeling for what it is. 

The thrill of the chase. His heart pounds in his chest with excitement. 

So maybe Dennis plays up how drunk he is. He increasingly slurs his words and bumps into Mac’s arm as they close up for the night. It’s all a part of the ruse and Mac falls for it hook, line, and sinker. The other man is pretty drunk himself, given how he stumbles out of Paddy’s with Dennis clinging to his arm. 

But then Dennis shoves the keys to his Range Rover into Mac’s hand, and the other man looks to him in surprise because Dennis rarely trusts anyone with his car. Though honestly, neither of them should be driving.

Mac laughs drunkenly as they climb into the car and head towards Dee’s apartment. They stayed more than an hour after the others had left, as Dennis slowly emptied the bottle of Jameson between the two of them. 

_“Bottom’s up, bro.”_

_“Fuck-I’m gonna be hungover as hell tomorrow.”_

_“Whatever. You and I both know you don’t do shit here anyway.”_

Dee should be in bed by now, with Old Man. With any luck, she’ll be sleeping alone with him tonight. Nowadays, Dee goes to bed with ear plugs ever since the night Dennis and Mac decided to see what would happen if they microwaved a radio clock at four in the morning. Melt or explode? Turns out it's a bit of both.

She screamed her throat bloody when she woke to the wreckage in her kitchen. 

They pull into their parking spot. And yeah, Mac taps the bumper of the car in front of them. Just barely, but they both crack up in their seats. Dennis climbs out of the car, arms reaching out for the other man as his body shakes with laughter. 

“It’s really their own fault,” Mac says. “Everyone knows that Prius bumpers bend like fucking aluminum. Who the hell drives a Prius in Philly?”

Dennis snorts and slugs his motions. Mac almost trips over his own feet dragging them into Dee’s building. 

“We should try to be quiet,” Mac whispers, as they stumble to Dee’s door. “Don’t want to wake up Dee and black man- _old_ man. My bad. We ever learn his name?”

They giggle again as they drunkenly enter the dark apartment, still clinging to each other and tripping over their own belongings messily littered across the floor. Their philosophy was, if Dee wants her apartment cleaned up, she should do it her own damn self. 

Dennis’ eyes slowly adjust in the dark and he buries his face in Mac’s neck, pulling the other man towards the couch. He breathes deeply, feeling the warmth of Mac’s chest against him. He smells like kitchen grease. “C’mere,” Dennis mutters under his breath. 

Mac stiffens despite the alcohol in his system. He blinks, confused and drunk as they stumble through the messy living room, eventually tripping onto the small couch. He moves to reach for the light, but Dennis never lets him go. Instead, they drop. Dennis clings to him, dragging him down until Mac practically falls on top of him. 

_“Dennis-”_

Dennis grins as he looks up at the man above him, their faces mere inches apart. There’s a stir in his pants at the way Mac whispers his name. _Like a damn prayer._ He smirks, no longer feeling the need to play up the drunk factor. 

“Come on,” he whispers between them, biting his lip. 

Mac stares down at him with wide eyes, frozen in fear. He can damn well feel Dennis’ erection pressing against his hip. It wouldn’t be the first time Mac touches another dude’s cock. So what the hell is he so afraid of? Himself? God’s wrath? Who knows? But Dennis doesn’t exactly care when he pulls him down by the back of his neck and presses their lips together in a ferocious kiss, sliding his fingers through Mac’s hair. 

Mac lets out a gasp that turns into a groan as he slowly falls into the kiss. Dennis' hand holds him close and he moans into the other man's mouth. _“Fuck.”_ The curse falls from Mac’s lips and he repeats it again and again as they rut against each other on Dee’s tiny little couch. 

Dennis hears it in his voice. He feels it in the way Mac’s hands tremble where they’re pressed against his chest. Every hesitant motion drips with desire.

They’re not _supposed_ to do this. But Mac wants it too. And of course he does, Dennis never doubted it for a second. 

Mac is hard in his pants and Dennis finds himself eagerly craving more. He can barely think with what little blood remains in his brain. So he surges ahead with a grin. He wants to see how far he can push him. How far can he take this before Mac reaches his breaking point? 

Dennis grabs Mac’s unsteady hand on his chest and pushes it lower, pressing it to the front of his jeans. “I'm so hard.” His voice is low as he stares up at the other man, unblinking. 

Mac swallows nervously.

“I want you,” Dennis murmurs. 

“Dennis, I-I don’t know-”

Dennis shakes his head, shushing him quietly, before pressing their lips together again. Kissing Mac is different from kissing women. It’s harder, more intense with the feel of stubble and the taste of whiskey. All tongue and teeth, and it’s _so_ fucking good. Then Mac breaks away. He presses his lips to Dennis’ cheek, moves up towards his ear, before kissing his way to his neck, sucking softly at his skin. Dennis gasps when teeth scrape the base of his neck, sending shivers up and down his spine. 

Mac’s fingers deftly undo his button and zipper, working his hand into Dennis’ pants.

“Touch me,” Dennis groans, even as Mac’s hand wraps around his cock. He gasps and shakes, hips thrusting upwards as Mac pumps him in his fist. He reaches between them for the front of Mac’s pants. No reason for him to be the only one getting off. 

But Mac jumps. And in the dark, Dennis sees Mac’s dark eyes fly open. 

“You okay?” Dennis whispers. “You wanna stop? We… we can stop.”

There's a pause before Mac shakes his head. “No, don’t stop,” he whispers before he leans forward to kiss him again. Mac was never going to say no. He groans and drops his head down to Dennis’ shoulder when the other man wraps a cold hand around him. 

Dennis hisses when Mac twists his hand around his cock. His head is thrown back against the arm of the raggedy, uncomfortable couch. And maybe it’s the alcohol in his system, but a handjob should not feel this good. “How do you like it, huh?”

_“What?”_ Mac mutters against his skin.

“I bet you like to take it.” Dennis’ voice is low and shaky as he breathes heavily against Mac’s cheek. “Is that right? You like the feeling of a thick cock sliding into you?”

Mac trembles. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Don’t lie to me.” Dennis squeezes Mac’s cock in his hand, pulling a deep groan out of the man above him. “You like to be on top? You like the feeling of holding another man down? What if I put my mouth on your cock? Choked on your dick? Would you like that?” He sees Mac biting back a moan that just comes out as a whimper and he _knows_ the other man is close. “You know what I want to do to you?” Dennis whispers as he strokes him harder. “I want to lick you from your balls to your ass. And _then,_ I’d stick my tongue in you as far as it goes and-”

Dennis doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Mac is cumming hard in his hand with a groan. His choked gasps are muffled in Dennis’ neck and he trembles against him, riding out the orgasm before collapsing heavily. Dennis has heard Mac jerking off through the walls of their old apartment. He's even been _witness_ to it on more than one occasion. So he knows what it sounds like. But to feel his lips ghosting over his skin, and his cum warm and sticky in his hand… now that’s a new experience. 

Dennis brushes Mac’s hand away and strokes himself eagerly, easier now that it's wet. He groans, and with his free hand, he pulls Mac down with a painful grip on his hair. He spills into his own fist, his moans hungrily swallowed by Mac’s mouth. 

When it’s over, they pant and catch their breaths, the sounds of which echo in the darkness of Dee’s living room. Mac has pulled away mere inches, balancing awkwardly on his elbows. Their eyes carefully watch the other. Both of them have sobered up.   

“Dennis?”

“Hmm?” 

“You wanna sleep on the couch tonight?”

Dennis chuckles. He can always count on Mac to turn a potentially awkward situation into a light-hearted one. And the idea is ridiculous. Two grown men sleeping on a couch that would barely be suitable for a child. But their limbs are entwined and Mac is still a heavy, warm presence on his chest. Mac starts chuckling too, until eventually they simply burst into laughter in each other’s arms. 

Dennis grins widely and nods. He lets Mac tuck them back inside their pants as he reaches for a dirty t-shirt on the floor to wipe his hand and the mess they made.

“Ah fuck it, it’ll be worth it just to have one night away from Dee and Old Man. Fuck that bed, dude.”

Mac flops down next to him. Or he tries to-he has to wedge himself into the tight space between Dennis and the back of the couch. He wraps an arm around Dennis’ waist as if to prevent his very likely tumble off the bed in the middle of the night. 

In the dark, Dennis rolls his eyes. Mac can be a needy fucking child sometimes, always desperate for attention and affection-no doubt due to the lack of it received during his childhood. But they didn’t even fuck. They just gave each other handjobs like a couple of horny teenagers. Still, Dennis decides to humor him by placing his hand gently on Mac’s around his waist-he’s in it for the long con, after all. He always is. 

Mac’s soft breath brushes against his cheek. It’s funny how in the darkness of Dee’s living room, the closeness of his friend, his heavy limbs wrapped around his own… their bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle. They just… fit.

Dennis blinks heavily at the ceiling as he lazily twines their fingers together. 

This feeling is bliss. 

And he feels like he’s drowning in it. 

“I’ve thought about this for so long,” Mac says it so quietly, Dennis almost missed it.

“Me too.” The words slip easily from his tongue, though there doesn’t seem to be much credibility behind them. 

“Are you gay?”

Dennis pauses. No. Of course he isn’t. But he shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head so it rests against Mac’s. 

“If you want,” he says casually. And for now, that seems to satisfy the other man.

“Goodnight.”

“Night, Mac.”

Dennis pulls his head up and gently presses a kiss to the other man’s forehead. It’s such a simple gesture, but for some reason it makes his stomach flip-flop in a way that he can’t quite comprehend.

He closes his eyes and eventually falls asleep to the sound of Mac’s steady breathing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Mac chooses to spend some time with the Man upstairs. Dennis finds this unacceptable.

Dennis half wakes to a mouthful of hair. There’s also a warm presence heavy against his chest-probably the owner of said hair-as well as an unsettling feeling of sharp eyes glaring on him. He blinks away a mild hangover and twists his head around, only to see the most exasperated look of judgment that only Dee could successfully  pull off.  

“Did you fuck him on my couch?” His sister demands, her voice a sharp hiss as she towers over them both.

Dennis snorts softly, rubbing a tired hand over his face. “Not yet,” he replies coolly. Out the corner of his eye, Old Man quietly exits out the front door.

Dee groans, not even the least bit surprised by his behavior. “Do not, do _not-_ you know what, I shouldn’t even have to say this! This is ridiculous!” She scurries away to the kitchen, desperate for a cup of coffee before she can properly face the situation. “I hate you so much,” she mutters harshly over her shoulder. 

Dennis smirks, unbothered by his sister’s irritation. He turns back to the man pressed against him. Mac snores gently, his face buried in the crook of his neck. There’s a spot of drool on Dennis’ t-shirt. He grins at the sight for a moment, only a bit unsettled by the fact that the whole ‘buried in another man’s arms’ thing doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. 

Mac’s arms are nice. And warm. And solid. 

Dennis carefully untangles himself from Mac’s heavy limbs. He groans softly as he stretches to his full height. His back screams at him for spending the night on Dee’s tiny little couch. He spares a quick glance at the man still asleep before joining his sister in the kitchen. 

“What _the hell_ did you do last night?” Is the first thing that flies out of Dee’s mouth.

Dennis grins, watching his sister spread cream cheese on an untoasted bagel. “What makes you think it was me?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I'm blaming the both of you!” Dee hisses while pointing the dirty butter knife in her brother’s face. “If you two are going to screw, don't do it on my couch! In fact, don't do it in my apartment at all!”

“Well, we’re… we’re working on that,” Dennis gives a casual shrug. It’s not like Dee’s couch is comfortable by any stretch of the imagination. But their options are pretty limited “We don’t like being here any more than you like having us here.”

“Working on it?” Dee glares in disbelief. “It's been over a year, Dennis! When are you moving out?” As she recalls, they promised it would only be mere months _._

“Whenever our apartment is ready, I guess.” Dennis snatches the bagel out of Dee’s hands and takes a large bite, ignoring her protests. “Calm down, just make yourself another one,” he says while she groans in frustration. 

“You are such an asshole.”

“Mac’s working on the apartment,” Dennis says, unconcerned. “He says it’ll be done soon.”

“Why aren’t you helping him? It’d be done a lot sooner if you did.”

Dennis shrugs lazily. “He says he’s taking care of it. Doesn’t want me involved.”

Dee shakes her head and grumbles something under her breath about how she’s always the one to suffer for Mac’s crazy plans. Dennis doesn’t really care. His mind is preoccupied with something else.  

“So let me get this straight,” Dennis mumbles around a mouthful of cream cheese. “You're less concerned by the fact that Mac and I are banging-well, I mean, not _yet_ technically. But you only care that it's happening in your living room?”

Dee scrunches up her face as she looks up from her half-spread bagel. “Why would I care that you and Mac are banging?”

“Not _yet,_ ” Dennis corrects her.

“I’m surprised it hasn't happened sooner,” Dee says with a snort.

“What do you mean by that?” Dennis says defensively.

“Mac’s had a crush on you for years,” Dee says slowly, like she's talking to an idiot. “You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. Hell, the goddamn neighbors know it.”

“Yeah, but Mac’s gay. Of course he would have a crush on me. I mean, look at me.” Dennis’ voice drips with the arrogance of his ego. “But aren’t you surprised by me? I've never shown any interest in him!”

Dee snorts. Like Dennis had made a joke. She snorts again. And the joke must be hilarious because it devolves into a full body-shaking, bagel pieces flying out of her mouth, just downright _obnoxious_ laugh. 

Dennis stares aghast. “What are you laughing at? Stop laughing!” He demands. He half wants to strike her. “Stop laughing, woman!” But Dee doesn’t stop, and Dennis throws a quick glance into the living room. “You’re going to wake him, you bitch!”

Dee finally settles down enough to catch her breath. “Wow,” she gasps, staring at her brother with something akin to pity in her eyes. “This is sad. This is really, _really_ sad.”

“What are you talking about-”

“And I know I’ve called you pathetic before, but this is like a whole new level, even for you.”

“Forget it,” Dennis mutters, turning on his heel. “I don’t have to listen to this. I’m taking a shower.”

“Denial’s only a good defense mechanism until it’s not!” Dee shouts after him.

Dennis is still muttering nonsense under his breath as he strips behind the closed door of the bathroom. He hates being laughed at, and he had never been one to handle mockery well. What the hell was Dee even talking about? Fucking bird. 

He turns on the water. As he waits for it to get up to temperature, his eyes drift up to the mirror in front of him. 

It’s funny, there was a small part of him that thought his reflection might look different today. Something had changed last night, clearly. His relationship with Mac had gone somewhere it hadn’t gone before. Over the decades, they had so many what ifs and almosts… It sure seems like things are different now. 

Yet his reflection remains the same. 

He sees the same crow’s feet around his eyes that he’ll have to cover with concealer. There’s a bit of padding around his stomach that now refuses to go away no matter how little he eats. But at least his jawline is still chiseled to perfection.   

Dennis runs his fingers over the dried semen crusted on his abdomen, evidence of his night with Mac. Bits of it flake off as his mind wanders back, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. 

It’s like he got a taste of crack for the first time all over again. And now he’s desperately hungry for more. 

He chuckles at the thought and finally climbs under the warm spray of the shower. He lets the water run over him as his mind continues to wander. He runs a hand lazily down his body, closes his eyes, and imagines it’s Mac touching him.

He remembers the little huff of breath Mac let out when they fell together onto the couch. The desire in Mac’s eyes seconds before they kissed. He thinks about Mac’s hands on him and his _lips_ and Dennis lets out a soft groan as his cock starts to come to life. He imagines how good Mac’s mouth would feel wrapped around him and then he has to stop. 

He doesn’t want to just imagine it, he wants to _feel_ it. 

So Dennis ignores the rushing heat in his groin and takes his hand away from his half hard cock, determined that only one person will be getting him off today, and that person is currently not in the shower with him. 

Now that's just wishful thinking.

But instead, he lazily finishes his shower alone. Muffled voices reach his ears as he shuts off the water. Just the typical morning banter between Mac and Dee. 

He still hears their voices throughout his morning routine in front of the mirror.  His hair must be dried and styled to perfection, and his skin made free of blemishes. This doesn’t happen quickly. But by the time he’s done and ready to step out, a towel wrapped low around his waist, he looks pretty damn good. 

He can't wait to see the look on Mac's face. 

To his chagrin, when he finally steps out of the bathroom, the usually endless morning banter of his roommates is gone. The couch is empty, and Dee rushes towards him, a scowl on her face. 

“Finally,” she grumbles, throwing her hands up in exasperation. 

Dennis looks around the rest of the small apartment. “Where’s Mac?” 

“He left already, said he had something to do.” Dee attempts to go around her brother, but the man doesn’t budge.

“What? Do what? Where’d he go?”

“He said he was going to church. He’ll be by Paddy’s later,” Dee says with a sneer, smacking Dennis on the shoulder as she tries to move past him once again.

“Church?” Dennis’ voice is high, and he looks one second away from clutching his pearls in horror.

“Yeah, Mac likes Jesus, remember?” Dee says sarcastically. “Now move, dickface. I'm tired of you spending a damn hour in my bathroom every single morning.”

Dennis gapes, at a loss for words, until he’s alone again.  

_Church?_

And just like that, his shock and confusion turn into self-righteous anger, like Mac had snubbed him. Because Mac would rather spend his time with god than with him. 

Dennis huffs in frustration and stomps over to the coffee table to pick up his phone. He drops his wet towel right in the middle of Dee’s living room without a care, turns on the camera on his phone, and snaps a picture of his dick. Even soft it still looks impressive. Dennis smirks as he sends the photo to Mac along with some text. 

_Could’ve had a taste of this had you not run off so quickly._

Dennis sighs, eyes narrowed at the screen. Eventually, it becomes clear that Mac isn’t going to respond right away. He groans and decides to just get ready to head to Paddy’s. He rummages through a suitcase for clothes, still frustrated at the situation. What the hell is Mac doing at the moment that he can’t reply to Dennis’ texts? Isn’t Mac the one who gets upset when Dennis doesn’t respond right away?

Mac’s probably confessing his transgressions. 

_Forgive me father, for I have sinned._

Dennis seethes silently. It shouldn’t make him as angry as it does. Mac goes to church at least once a week, usually more. But this time Dennis has a pretty good idea the reason behind Mac’s impromptu visit to their local chapel. 

What’s Mac saying right now? Is he telling some schmuck behind a screen about how he and his very _male_ best friend got each other off in the darkness of Dee’s apartment? Or maybe he’s describing the feeling of Dennis’ lips against his own and his cock in his hand. What exactly is Mac confessing to in the false belief that he’s speaking to his god?

Dennis never did like sharing. It's one of the reasons he tortured his sister so much growing up. 

It takes a record breaking twenty-seven minutes before Mac responds to his text.

_Do not send me dick pics when I’m talking to God!_

Dennis groans and takes a deep breath to calm himself, lest he shatters his phone against the wall. He doesn’t even bother responding and instead, he stomps out the front door, eager for _anything_ else to distract his mind. 

Unfortunately for him, not even the hectic chaos of a typical day at Paddy’s can distract him from the anger he feels directed towards a certain someone for putting him in second place. Maybe he’s being dramatic again, but the awful humiliation trails behind him with every second that passes. 

He leans against the bar, nursing his second beer of the morning and watching Frank and Charlie argue over the risk and reward of another Wolf Cola enterprise when Mac finally bursts through the front door.

“What’s up, bitches?”

“Hey Mac, will you please tell Frank that this Wolf Cola business is a bad idea?”

“Don’t listen to him,” Frank spits out before turning to the man beside him. “You don’t know shit about business, Charlie. Leave this to the experts.”

“What’s going on?” Mac asks, waiting to be caught up. He raises an eager eyebrow. "Another endeavor for Frank's Liquids?"

But Charlie and Frank don’t get the chance to start, because Dennis’ emotions have been slowly simmering beneath the surface all morning, and now they’re finally coming to a boil. He stomps around the bar, grabs Mac by the wrist, and to the shock and confusion of everyone involved, drags him into the back office, slamming the door shut behind them both. 

Mac stares at him and Dennis is finally able to breathe slower now that Mac’s attention is undoubtedly, _completely_ focused on him. 

“What’s going on, Dennis?” Mac asks softly.

“Where ya been?” Dennis starts, casually shrugging shoulders. “You left this morning without me. I was gonna give you a ride.”

Mac gives him a pointed look because they both know exactly where he was. “Stopped by the chapel real quick before work.” 

“Hm.” Dennis nods and takes a step closer. “You could’ve said something to me.”

Mac grins softly at him. “I figured I’d be seeing you in a couple of hours anyway.”

“It took you a while to respond to me this morning.”

“Yeah," Mac shrugs. "Because I was talkin’ to the big guy upstairs.”

“And what did he say back?” Dennis hisses, taking yet another step closer.

Mac looks away, dodging the question. “Dennis, is this about last night?” There’s a red blush tinting his cheeks as his face warms.

Of course it is. 

“So what’d you think?” Dennis asks casually.

Mac blinks. “About last night?”

“About the pic I sent you!”

Mac narrows his eyes in confusion. “What are you fishin’ for compliments?” His voice sounds shocked but considering that it’s Dennis, he really shouldn’t be. 

“C’mon, Mac! Be real with me. What’d you think?”

“You know I’ve seen your dick before, right? Like… a lot.” Mac thinks back over the past twenty years they’ve lived together. “A _lot,_ ” he emphasizes. 

“Yeah, but it’s different now!” Mac's never  _touched_ his dick before. 

“No… I’m pretty sure your dick hasn’t magically changed.”

“Did you talk about my dick?” Dennis growls, feeling that anger again. “When you were _confessing_ your sins,” he spits the words out like they leave a dirty taste in his mouth. 

“What? No-no, I didn’t-”

“Why not? Isn’t that the whole point? Confess and ask for forgiveness and all that?”

“Shut up, dude. I don’t wanna talk about this right now.” Mac’s voice is tense and he looks away uncomfortably. “Not here, the others could walk in at any minute-”

“Well, Dee already knows,” Dennis says casually.

“What?” Mac screeches. “How does Dee know?”

“She's my sister, dude.” Dennis makes a face. “Of course she knows.”

Mac groans and lets out a heavy breath. He wasn’t ready for this yet. He wasn’t ready for it to be real. 

“So what’d you say about me?” Dennis continues pushing, unwilling to be distracted. 

“What?”

“To god. What’d you say?”

“Wh-why do you care?” Mac stutters. “You’ve never asked me that before!”

“That was before I knew without a doubt that you were talking about me!”

“It’s between me and God, Dennis! It’s none of your business-”

Dennis cuts him off by closing the distance between them. He curls a hand around the back of Mac’s neck and brings their lips together for a harsh kiss. Mac doesn’t fight him. He melts into the other man’s embrace and his lips part easily for Dennis to slip his tongue past them, tasting every bit and sharing every breath they take. 

“You keeping secrets from me?” Dennis says breathily when they finally part. He nips and tugs gently on the other man’s bottom lip. “I thought we tell each other everything, Mac.”

Mac groans softly, feeling every inch of Dennis’ body pressed tight against him. His eyes flicker to the closed door of the office, like the others could burst in at any moment, laughing and pointing some cruel joke this must be to them. 

Mac’s clearly off his game, and it makes Dennis feel more powerful than ever. He yearns for more, like he’s getting off on the best high of his life.  “You want me, Mac. We both know it.” Dennis roughly palms him through his pants and revels in the shudders that vibrate through the other man's body.

“Yeah,” Mac says softly. He doesn't even try to deny it.

“Tell me,” Dennis murmurs against his lips. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you,” Mac whispers. 

_“Show me.”_

Mac’s eyes snap up from where they had been staring at Dennis’ lips. 

“Get on your knees.”

A rush of arousal surges through him as he grabs Mac’s shoulder and pushes him down, perhaps a little too forcefully, because  Mac sprawls to his knees. But the other man follows without protest. Mac’s fingers curl around the waistband of his jeans. His deft hands undo the fastenings and pulls them down to Dennis’ thighs, boxer briefs and all. He lets out a soft breath that Dennis feels against his cock, and it has him sighing in eager anticipation.

“I don’t really know what I’m doing here,” Mac says softly as he parts his lips and flicks his tongue over the tip. Dennis’ cock twitches with interest. _Fucking liar_ , he thinks. But then Mac shamelessly looks up for further instruction, lips wide as he takes him deeper, and Dennis thinks the other man knows exactly what he's doing.

“You’re pleasuring my cock,” Dennis growls, burying his fingers in Mac’s hair. “And you wanna make me feel good, don’t you?”

Mac makes a noise that sounds vaguely like an affirmation, a bit muffled seeing how he has Dennis’ cock filling his mouth. He sucks gently, applying more pressure to the sounds of approval that Dennis makes. 

Dennis moans loudly when Mac takes him deeper into his mouth. “Oh, _fuck.”_ He gasps. "Your fucking mouth." His hand clenches around Mac’s hair and he thrusts hard. He knows he’s hit the back of Mac’s throat when the other man gags around him. 

“Sorry,” Dennis whispers, not really sorry at all. 

Mac blinks, eyes wide and lashes dark with tears as he looks up at Dennis. He’s still honing his technique, and when he runs his tongue heavily along the underside of Dennis’ cock and receives endless murmurs of encouragement in the form of Dennis’ husky voice telling him how good he is, a rush of elation spreads through him. 

“Fuck,” Dennis curses softly. He closes his eyes just for a second. He hadn’t imagined it’d be this good. The heat is unbelievable, and the wetness has him barely holding back from thrusting forward again. He opens his eyes and stares down at Mac on his knees, cheeks hollowed around his cock, and looking so dirty it’s absolutely sinful _._

_Such a pretty little slut._

Dennis almost sneers as he watches him work his dick. Is Mac thinking about his god now?

Mac moans around him. His free hand that’s not gripping Dennis’ ass had been palming his own hard dick uncomfortably stuffed in his pants. He feels Dennis tug roughly on his hair and he shamelessly hollows his cheeks further. His tongue makes circular motions that have Dennis’ hips stuttering against him. 

“I’m gonna cum down your throat,” Dennis growls. “Look at me.”

And Mac obeys-his eyes wide as he trembles, saliva dripping down his chin. Of course he does, because Dennis owns Mac. He always has. 

Dennis groans, he’s rough on Mac’s mouth, as rough as he is with the women he’s been with.  Dennis takes what he wants. That hasn’t changed. He makes damn sure Mac knows exactly who he belongs to. And Mac takes every bit of what he has to offer. 

God help him, Mac is beautiful like this, kneeling at his feet, his cock between his lips. 

Dennis moans as his balls begin to stir. The sight of Mac’s hand squeezing tight around his own cock in his pants and he can’t hold himself back any longer. His orgasm leaves him taking shuddered, gasping breaths as he empties himself down Mac’s throat. Mac milks every last drop with the expert precision of a wicked tongue. 

Mac moans heavily around him as he releases himself, making a wet mess in his pants as he gasps and trembles. 

Dennis’ hands fall away from Mac’s messy hair. His whole body shakes as Mac slowly drops him from his lips. Mac’s eyes are glossy and unfocused as he blinks up at him, still basking in the afterglow of his orgasm. 

Dennis reaches out and caresses his cheek gently. Mac leans into the touch like he does every single time. But now,  there’s something incredibly intimate about the way he strokes Mac’s face. His fingers run over the other man’s stubble. His thumb presses down his lips and then over his jaw. 

He really should have done this years ago. 

“Holy shit, Mac.”

Mac lets out a hiss as he falls back on his unsteady legs. His knees complain against the harsh treatment they’d been subjected to.  “That was good, right?” Mac’s voice is hoarse and Dennis has to admit the sound goes right to his groin. 

“Yeah, baby. That was good. It was better than good.”

Mac’s cheeks burn at the pet name. He can taste Dennis’ cum tingling on his tongue. “The best?” He looks up at Dennis with a raised eyebrow.

Dennis snorts. Not even a mind blowing orgasm is enough to make him want to stroke Mac’s ego. 

“Bro. C’mon, be real with me,” Mac says raspily with a grin on his lips. 

Dennis carefully tucks himself back into his pants. “Definitely in the top three,” he eventually says with narrowed eyes.

“Top _three_?” Mac says it like a challenge. 

A thrill runs down Dennis’ spine at the thought of more blowjobs, each to top the last. But he straightens, schools his expression, and licks his lips like he’s remembering the feeling of Mac’s against them. “Top three,” he repeats. 

Dennis gives Mac one last smirk before he turns on his heel. He exits the office, shutting the door quietly behind him, leaving Mac with a look of bewilderment on his face and a wet mess in his pants. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac's vehement denial is both conflicting and illogical. And it drives Charlie up the damn wall.

“Seriously, dude. Are you even listening to me?”

Charlie’s words barely register through Mac’s distracted thoughts as he stares silently out the van window with glazed eyes. He drowns a large gulp of beer before settling the can back between his thighs, resting his chin lazily in the palm of his hand as his elbow leans against the faded armrest.

Mac is resolutely not thinking about Dennis while he’s out on stakeout with Charlie. Except that he absolutely is, in every sense of the word.

“What the hell, dude!” Charlie throws his arms up in frustration when he doesn’t even get the dignity of a response. “You’re supposed to be helping me and you’re not even listening to a word I’m saying!”

“What?” Mac mumbles, finally turning to the man in the passenger seat. He’s confused and shivering from the cold and would really rather be anywhere else right now. “What do you even need my help for? You’ve been stalking the Waitress for years, aren’t you a pro by now?”

“ _Dude,_ ” Charlie emphasizes. “We’re heading into unknown territory! Ever since she left the women’s shelter, her life’s been a mess! She’s got no steady job! She’s doing all kinds of shady shit around the neighborhood. Hanging out with weirdos! I can’t keep track of her! Who knows what kind of people we could be dealing with? I need your help with this, Mac! So can you just take this seriously, please?”

Mac groans and leans his head back tiredly. “I don’t see why you had to drag me into this. Isn’t Frank usually the one who helps with your Waitress stalking?”

“Frank didn’t want to sit in the cold van all day.” Charlie rubs his hands together as if Mac needed another reminder that it’s currently below freezing.

“And you think _I_ wanted to do this with you?” Mac’s visible breath between them in the cold van should more than get his point across.

“ _Well_ …” Charlie drags the word out and shrugs casually as he stares out the windshield, making sure they don’t miss a sighting of the girl who holds his affections. “You know Frank, he’s old, he’s got… joints and stuff, and they get all creaky and annoying at his age.”

“Whatever, dude.” Mac rolls his eyes and looks away. “We’ve been out here for hours, can we go back to the bar now?”

“No, just a little bit longer,” Charlie insists while Mac remains looking out the window awkwardly. He finally decides to bring up the subject he knows the other man had been avoiding. “So are we going to talk about what’s been up with you and Dennis lately, or what?”

Mac twists his head to glare at his friend as he pulls his jacket tighter around himself against the chill. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Mac. Give me some credit, man.” Charlie says with a short laugh. “I know something’s up. You and Dennis have been acting super shady lately.”

Mac grimaces. “Have not.”

“Seriously, dude? I walked in on you guys in the bathroom yesterday and you were both acting super weird. Like way weirder than usual. You practically ran out of the bathroom. Dennis wouldn’t talk to me. What’s up with that? I thought we were supposed to be the three stooges or whatever. You guys are keepin’ shit from me now?”

Mac groans softly, remembering his multiple failed attempts at a conversation with Dennis about _him and Dennis._

“Did you guys have a fight or something?” Charlie offers.

“No,” Mac mutters. A fight would have been easier to deal with. A fight involves shouting and cursing and making wants and demands known through loud, obnoxious verbal communication. Sometimes it even involves _physical_ confrontation. At least with a fight, Mac would know what Dennis is thinking and feeling, instead of the man keeping it all under lock and key. “Dennis and I have… I don’t know… we’re going through some shit,” Mac says.

“Oh.” Charlie fidgets with his fingers nervously, not exactly sure how to continue. He takes a slow drink from his beer. “Uh… you wanna talk about it?”

Mac scowls and adamantly looks anywhere but at Charlie’s face. He feels like he’s bursting on the inside to just _talk_ about it. Had been for days now, ever since the night he and Dennis got drunk and things between them… escalated. But Dennis, in typical Dennis fashion, refuses to indulge in conversations about _feelings._ He’d literally rather chew on broken glass. And to be fair, Charlie is his oldest friend, so Mac figures, why the hell not?

“I put his dick in my mouth,” Mac blurts out.

“You did _what?”_ Charlie’s eyes go wide and he whips his head so fast he nearly strains his neck. “You put his-”

“Yeah.” Mac nods and sneaks a glance at his friend. “I sucked his dick a little bit.”

“A little bit?” Charlie shrieks. He narrows his eyes in suspicion.

“Okay, a lot.” Mac concedes, only to get more frustrated when Charlie still looks at him expectantly. “I sucked it all the way-to completion, you know?”

Charlie is clearly still trying to wrap his mind around his best friend sucking off his other best friend, and him being completely out of the loop. Jeez, he’s not even sure if he wants to be in the loop.

“So… did _you_ put Dennis’ dick in your mouth? Or did _he_ put his dick in your mouth?”

“What?” Mac barks. His head spins at the question. “What difference does that make?”

“It’s Dennis, dude.” Charlie shrugs. “I have to ask.”

Mac tenses and shakes his head roughly. “It-it was a mutual act of dick in mouth and-you know what, it doesn’t matter! You’re missing the point!”

“What is the point?”

Mac sighs. “I keep trying to talk to Dennis about it, but he refuses to have the conversation. He either walks away or he changes the subject! Now it seems like he’s avoiding me completely! He didn’t back me up at all when I said I didn’t want to go on this stakeout!”

“Huh.” Charlie frowns gently. “We all know how much Dennis loves long, serious, awkward conversations…” He offers sarcastically.

“Yeah, but I mean, this is huge!” Mac emphasizes with his hands, completely missing the look of bewilderment on Charlie’s face that’s clearly wondering if Mac is referring to the size of something phallic in nature, or the situation. “I feel like we need to talk about it!”

“That’s very gay,” Charlie mutters softly under his breath.

“It _is_ very gay!” Mac agrees.

“Yeah,” Charlie says slowly, not quite getting it.

“But I’m not gay,” Mac explains carefully. “So do you see why this is a problem?”

Charlie snorts. He can’t help himself. “Well, I mean… except that… you are, Mac. You’re gay.”

Mac scrunches his face in confusion. “No, I’m not. What are you talking about?”

“C’mon bro. You can admit it.” Charlie says gently. “There’s no shame in it-”

“I’m not gay!”

“I’m your best friend, man. I don’t care!”

Mac straightens in his seat, his back stiff as a board-like the extra inches of height might somehow intimidate the other man into believing him. “I will concede that what _transpired_ between us may have been gay,” he says loudly and carefully. “But _I_ am not gay.”

Charlie sighs and shakes his head. “Well, that’s a start, I guess.” They both take a drink from their cans. A moment passes between them before Charlie gives Mac a curious look. “Was that the first time? With Dennis, I mean.” He kind of already knows the answer.

Mac looks uncomfortable as he shuffles awkwardly in his seat. “We’ve… done some stuff over the years,” he eventually mumbles. “Nothing that counts though,” he adds quickly.

Charlie raises an eyebrow.

“No hand stuff. Not even touching, so really, it doesn’t count at all!”

Charlie makes a face, his suspicions confirmed by Mac’s reaction. “Oh, come on, man! The mutual masturbation, and-and the movie nights and the dates and the spending nearly every waking _second_ together.” Dee was right, they really are two codependent assholes. “Not to mention, you are _way_ too familiar with Dennis’ dick. You can’t possibly deny that-”

 _“Dates?!”_ Mac sputters and practically flails in his seat. A splash of beer spills in his lap.

“Yeah, what do you call ’em? Your-your monthly dinners!”

Mac scoffs. “What, a guy can’t go on regular dinners at a nice restaurant with another guy without it being a date?”

“You dress up for it, Mac.”

“So?”

“You wear _two_ colognes,” Charlie says, wondering how someone could be so oblivious in their denial. “That’s as gay as it gets!”

“It’s not gay!” Mac shouts stubbornly.

“Well, did you enjoy it?” Charlie asks, tilting his head as he looks to Mac for an answer. “Dennis’ dick in your mouth, did you like that?”

About thirty emotions flicker across Mac’s face in quick succession before he finally settles on a scowl. “Yeah,” Mac reluctantly admits in the safety of the van.

“And you think you might like Dennis in that way?”

Mac barely has to consider the question before the answer is clear. There’s a lot that he can deny in the solitude of his own mind, but not this. Not Dennis. Over the years, their relationship had grown from friends to blood brothers, before it blossomed into something more. What they share is messy and convoluted and beautiful, and Mac couldn’t imagine them any other way.

In that moment, a small part of him already knows the truth, though he may not be ready to fully admit it to himself. And he suddenly wants nothing more than to be with Dennis, to be _near_ him. Like there’s a piece of him missing whenever they’re apart. Just thinking about the other man, it feels like his heart got wedged in his throat. He wonders if Dennis feels the same way.

“Yeah,” Mac finally croaks. He’s half afraid he’d be met with scorn and mockery from the other man, but Charlie doesn’t let him down. He doesn’t even look mildly surprised. He just takes another heavy drink from his beer. Something that feels suspiciously close to hope bubbles deep in Mac’s chest. “You think he likes me back?”

Charlie sighs, a small smile twitching on his lips. “You guys have had boners for each other for as long as I’ve known you two,” is all he says.

“So, is that a yes?” Mac doesn’t even try to mask the excitement in his voice. Charlie snorts and Mac takes that for a positive response. “It is? Good. Because more importantly, _when_ is he going to return the favor?”

“The favor?”

Mac gestures his hands towards his crotch and Charlie immediately groans at the implication.

“Oh dude, come on, I don’t wanna think about that!” Charlie shakes his head. “You gotta be careful man, I feel like you’re heading down a slippery road here.”

“What do you mean?”

Charlie shrugs. “It’s Dennis, you know? I know you guys have this super weird obsession with each other, but… just make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into…”

Mac blinks. Sure, Dennis has a shady record when it comes to the ladies. But he never considered himself having anything to worry about. “But I’m Dennis’ favorite person in the world!”

Charlie shakes his head, not saying a word as he crumbles the empty can in his hands and drops it onto the van’s dirty floor. “Just be careful, dude.” He says as he cracks open a fresh beer. He’s going to need it if Mac plans to keep talking about dicks.

“Why do you think he’s avoiding me?” Mac asks.

“Honestly,” Charlie says softly, a look of slight pity on his face. “It sounds like he’s D.E.N.N.I.S.ing you.”

“What?” Mac sputters incredulously. “That’s ridiculous! He uses that system on the women that he bangs. He would never do that to me!”

“Are you listening to yourself? Of course he would!”

“No, no, no. He uses the D.E.N.N.I.S. system to get _women_ to fall in love with him. I’m a guy! It’s just not the same,” Mac insists, even as Charlie gives him a bewildered look.

“I’m not sure Dennis knows the difference. Or that he cares.”

“You think he’s gay?” Mac asks seriously. “That’s a sin, bro. I gotta help him if he is.”

Charlie stares aghast. “You’re the one who sucked his dick!”

“No, no, no. That-that doesn't count! It doesn’t count!”

“Dick in the mouth definitely counts! And you just told me you liked it! You are completely in denial about this, Mac!”

“I am not in denial!”

“I can’t believe this!”

“I’m not gay!” Mac screams, his fury catching up with him. “Maybe Dennis is gay. And maybe I need to help him see the light, but _I_ am definitely not gay.”

Charlie shakes his head in disbelief. “If anyone needs help here, it’s you, dude.”

Mac rolls his eyes and turns away, suddenly fascinated by nothing happening outside his window. He’s already half regretting this conversation. Even in the cold air, his cheeks feel flushed warm in some mixture of anger and embarrassment. He gives a resigned sigh and they sit in silence. The only sounds between them are when they take a drink every so often. Mac’s shoulders are tense, like he’s itching for a fight. Charlie’s fucking oblivious to it. He already seems to have forgotten their conversation. His head cranes back and forth still trying to catch sighting of the Waitress. And if Charlie doesn’t care, why should Mac?

It suddenly gets that much harder to deny the truth to himself.

Mac sighs and throws his empty beer can behind him. It clatters loudly against the metal floor, drawing Charlie’s attention. “Forget it,” Mac grumbles, fishing the keys out of his pocket. “We’re leaving. Let’s just head back to the bar.”

“So soon?” Charlie says, clearly disappointed.

“We’ve been here for hours, Charlie. Haven’t seen a hint her. Better luck tomorrow, dude.”

Charlie’s eyes narrow and he studies the other man’s face. “Are you having some big, gay epiphany?” He suddenly asks.

“I’m surprised you even know the word ‘epiphany’,” Mac snaps.

“Well, if you are-”

“I’m not!” Mac angrily pushes the key into the ignition. It takes him a few tries because he keeps missing in his fury. “I’m not gay, how many times do I have to say it?”

“You know we found the bike, right?” Charlie says, a light chuckle on his tongue. At this point, Mac’s denial is just plain annoying him, and so he plans to give him as much shit for it as he can. “The bike in the basement?”

“It’s an exercise bike!” Mac shrieks. His cheeks blush red as he slams his hands hard against the steering wheel.

“It’s a dildo bike,” Charlie quips.

“No. No.” Mac insists. “It is an _awesome_ modded out exercise bike! It’s-you know what, just shut up! Just drop it! I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you! I shouldn’t have to deal with this! I did you a fucking favor today!” He continues to rant and rave as he finally manages to get the van started.

Charlies snorts and looks out the window, still keeping an eye out in hopes of catching a glimpse of the Waitress. “So gay, bro.” He mutters under his breath as Mac pulls out into the road. “So gay.”

Mac doesn’t speak during the ten minute drive back to Paddy’s. Nor does he listen to Charlie’s inane ramblings that seem to be never ending. He’s probably talking about the Waitress’ hair or complaining about Frank’s latest scheme. Safe to say, Mac’s a bit distracted to hold a proper conversation. Not that Charlie minds, or even notices as he continues to chatter.

Light flurries of snow land on the windshield as his thoughts race a mile a minute. Before today, Mac would never have let himself consider having something _more_ with Dennis. They were friends-best friends-but that was it. And sure, over the years, they’d faced endless mockery (mostly from Dee) about the nature and codependency of their relationship. Memories of that one awful day where they ‘broke up’ are still fresh in his mind, however much he’d like to forget them. God, that was miserable.

And what’s wrong with movie nights and monthly dinners? It’s just tradition. Simple as that. They’re not _dates,_ as Charlie called them. And there’s nothing wrong with two bros sharing porn and getting off together. It’s just _what they do._ It’s perfectly normal.

Except now, for some unexplained reason, it feels like his heart is constricted in his chest, like someone’s sitting on top of him. And it’s hurting something awful.

Before today, Mac would have denied his sexuality until he’s blue in the face. Hell, he practically has already.

But now, for the first time in his life, he’s seriously considering acknowledging the truths about himself that he’d continuously denied over and over. It feels like the very foundation upon which he lives his life is crumbling beneath his feet.

And that terrifies him. What would God think?

He’d spent nearly four decades fighting the thoughts and urges that he was taught to hate. He constantly feared disappointing God, to the point where he half believes God would strike him down with a bolt of lightning if he didn’t beg forgiveness after every non-hetero misstep. Avoiding the truth became a way of life, and he’s always spouting some bullshit about dominating other men, when really the idea of _being_ dominated… doesn’t bother him much at all. The looks he would sneak, telling himself that he’s just admiring the male physique-an ideal that he’s set for himself-nothing sexual. And those late night trips to the Rainbow. All the times he’d touched other men and let other men touch him, under the influence of alcohol, of course-so surely, it doesn’t count.

It's all such a fragile illusion. He can’t blame it on the alcohol now.

Dennis. He could probably blame it on Dennis.

And then it’s not so hard to admit he wants something more. And maybe they’re already there, but god he doesn’t fucking know. The way he feels about Dennis can’t be attributed to anything other than love, and he loves Dennis more than he can put into words.

So the question becomes, does Dennis feel the same way?

The thought makes Mac’s gut lurch violently. When did he become such a girl?

All these thoughts are still going through his mind as he pulls the van up next to Paddy’s. Charlie jumps out and runs inside before he even pulls the key out of the ignition.

Mac rolls his eyes as he takes his time exiting the vehicle, shivering against the harsh chill of the wind. He’s not looking forward to Dennis avoiding him again. But fuck it, he’ll go along with whatever demented game Dennis is playing.

He dusts the snow off his hair as he swings open the door to the bar, already planning a confrontation in his mind. One that he _hopes_ will end up getting physical. The good kind of physical. Any residual self-denial has gone right out the window, because even he can’t deny the truth when it’s right in front of his face. Hitting on a twenty something blonde girl sitting at the bar.

Mac gapes at the scene. And he feels himself getting hot when thankfully, Dee steps out of the office, letting out out a big sigh of relief at the sight of him.

“See? There they are!” She waves her hand towards him and Charlie already sitting at the bar, while plainly screeching at her brother. “Now will you let this poor girl go? She’s clearly not going to buy anything!” Dennis interrupts with an undignified huff. “And stop pretending to flirt with her so Mac will see, you loser.”

“Dee!” Dennis shrieks. “You stupid bitch!”

Dee rolls her eyes and shuffles the poor accosted woman out of her seat-who looks quite grateful for the chance to exit.

“Put away that dumb grin,” Dee says as she passes him. Mac blinks and drops the smile he wasn’t aware he was wearing. “He’s been talking about you non-stop all day, and it’s annoying as hell.”

And just like that, the dumb grin is back. It stays put while Mac walks around the bar towards Dennis, who adamantly pretends to wipe a nonexistent dirty spot on the counter.

“Hi,” Mac says softly. He fights the urge to easily embarrass the other man further, thinking maybe the two of them have had more than enough of that for one day.

“Hey.” Dennis refuses to meet his eyes. “How was the stakeout with Charlie?”

“Boring,” Mac drawls as he leans against the bar. “Would’ve been nice if you could’ve given me an excuse to get out of it.”

Dennis frowns silently.

Mac doesn’t mind the silence. It’s a rare moment when Dennis Reynolds is flustered and at a loss for words. Mac can’t pull his eyes away from it. “Looking forward to our date tomorrow?”

“Date?” Dennis’ head snaps up in surprise. It takes a moment before it dawns on him. “Our monthly dinner?”

“Yeah.” Mac nods casually, pointedly ignoring the way his chest rumbles. “The one you’ve been looking forward to for the past twenty nine days?” He adds jokingly.

Dennis swallows and his face flushes. “Are-are we calling it a date now?” He asks breathily.

“Well,” Mac takes a shaky breath as he catches Dennis’ eyes. “That’s what it is. Right?”

Dennis’ jaw clenches just slightly before he gives a small nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.”

Mac grins, feeling pretty damn pleased with himself. Even more so when Dennis nervously returns it with one of his own.

Mac thinks he could probably get used to this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their monthly dinner. Dennis orders for Mac, and Mac tries to talk about feelings. Some things just don't change.

“Now the arrabbiata sauce is spicy, right?” Mac asks, narrowing his eyes at the menu. “How spicy is it? Because I have a sensitive stomach…”

“It’s a very mild spice, sir,” responds their waitress.

“Hm, and I like the bow tie pastas. Can I get the bow ties instead of the penne?”

“I’m not sure our kitchen has farfalle pasta. But I assure you, the penne tastes the same-”

“Farfa-what?”

“Mac!” Dennis hisses at the other man over the top of his menu. “Can you not do this every single time we go out to eat?”

“It’s not my fault,” Mac insists. “I don’t know what half these words are! It’d really help if you added some pictures,” he says to their waitress.

Dennis rolls his eyes before turning to their server. “We’re going to split the spiced shrimp bruschetta. And we’ll have two orders of the buffalo bocconcini salad, and two filet mignons with asparagus risotto.” He snaps the menu shut with a grin, and holds it out for her. “Oh and, give us a bottle of the _‘05 Merlot_ , sweetheart,” he adds as an afterthought.

“Coming right up.”

“Dennis,” Mac starts as soon as their waitress had walked away. “You know I don’t like crustaceans! Their legs freak me out!”

Dennis makes a face and brushes him off with a wave of his hand. “Pull the legs off.”

“I never eat them,” Mac whines. “And I know _you_ know that I hate salad! You do this to me every time!”

“Do what?” Dennis asks with an exasperated air of arrogance. “Order the very best the menu has to offer for your enjoyment?”

“Why can’t I just order for myself?!” Mac demands.

“I’m sorry, I thought you liked my refined palate,” Dennis says, holding his hands up defensively. “You never complained before.”

Mac stares aghast. “I _have_ complained before! You just never listen to me!”

“What’s done is done,” Dennis says with a shake of his head. “Nothing to do about it now.” He’s not about to waste time comforting the other man over something so trivial as _shrimp bruschetta_.

Mac groans and buries his face in his hands. Dennis can’t help but roll his eyes at the sight. “Are you done yet? What is it now?” He asks when Mac clearly isn’t letting it go.

Mac pauses just a second too long before answering. “Nothing.”

“I can see it on your face, just come out with it already!”

Mac rolls his eyes, figuring he might as well get it over with. “You were hitting on our waitress!”

Dennis makes a sound that’s something between a snort and a scoff. “I always hit on our waitress! And when they look like that, can you blame me?” He huffs a laugh, really thinking it’s no big deal, even though the other man is clearly distressed over it. “You won’t be complaining when we get a free appetizer.”

Mac blinks slowly at him, unable to comprehend the sheer audacity. “Well,” he manages after a moment, “I’d appreciate it if you refrain from doing that when we’re… on a _date._ ”

Dennis leans forward, because apparently they’re _whispering_ now. “You can barely say the word, Mac.”

Mac scowls and looks down at the table. Why did he actually think this night would be different? Across from him, Dennis heaves a long suffering sigh.

“This, _this_ is really going well.” Dennis drawls, sarcasm dripping from every word as he leans back in his chair. “Without a hitch, I’d say.” They’d barely been at the restaurant for fifteen minutes, and so far they’ve done nothing but argue. Like an old married couple.

Mac gives a self-deprecating sort of laugh that turns into a soft chuckle when Dennis grins at him from across the table, mirroring his actions. And then it devolves until they’re both laughing at themselves and somehow it gets easier after that.

“Alright maybe it’s not that bad,” Dennis concedes, a grin still pulling at the corners of his lips. “Not so far off from our usual monthly dinners, anyway.”

“But things are a bit different now, aren’t they?” Mac says softly. “You and me?”

Much to Mac’s surprise, Dennis’ immediate reaction isn’t angered refutation. He simply shrugs casually. “Why? Because you sucked my dick?” He says with an elegantly raised eyebrow. He certainly receives the reaction he was hoping for.

Mac wears the most unspeakably mortified expression when their big breasted waitress’s impeccable timing brings her back to their table with their wine and two glasses. He’s so embarrassed and cursing up a storm internally that he can’t bring himself to make eye contact with her _or_ Dennis. Only after she walks away and the sounds of Dennis’ snickers make their way across their small table to his reddening ears does Mac finally look up with a glare. He grits his teeth and tries to look a little less humiliated-and fails miserably.

“You are such an asshole,” Mac mutters under his breath.

“Mac, what is this really about?” Dennis asks seriously.

Mac spares a moment to glance around the busy restaurant, anticipating another embarrassing interruption. “Well, for one thing, I’m kind of surprised you’re even willing to have this discussion with me,” he says when no interruption arrives. “I mean, usually whenever I want to talk about us, or any issues that we’re having, you derail me and… change the damn subject.”

“Well, maybe I’m a bit more invested this time around,” Dennis says dryly.

“So… you’re not going to avoid me when I want to talk about feelings?” Mac asks slowly.

Dennis can’t fight the eye roll that breaks out, it’s a reflex at this point. But he does bite his tongue when he feels an obnoxious comment making its way to the surface. “I’ll admit that I’m not generally a fan of such discussions,” he says carefully. “But I’m willing to try… if that’s what you want.”

Mac is silent for a moment, and Dennis is so occupied with feigning disinterest he drowns an entire glass of wine before Mac speaks again.

“Are you gay?”

Dennis raises an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“No, of course not!” Mac says quickly.

Dennis scoffs as he pours himself another glass from the bottle. “My dick begs to differ.”

“Dennis, I’m not gay! I-I can’t be gay!”

“Some dicks can’t be unsucked,” Dennis says slowly.

Mac groans and smacks his forehand against the palm of his hand. Dennis chuckles softly at the sight. He enjoys seeing the other man so anxious over this. Mac’s lifelong sexuality crisis continues to work at full throttle.

“Well, what about you?” Mac suddenly asks. “Why aren’t you freaking out over this?”

Dennis shrugs casually. “To be honest, it kind of seems like a natural progression to me.” At Mac’s confused look, Dennis makes a face like it should be obvious. “Twenty plus _years_ of friendship? C’mon, you can’t tell me you’ve never felt it.”

Mac’s expression softens. Of course he has.

“Are you gay?” Mac asks again.

“Don’t fixate on the gay-straight thing,” Dennis says with a wave of his hand. “I’m not interested in labels.”

“Laying with men is a sin,” Mac says softly.

“What makes you think I want to lay with _you_?”

Mac throws on the most aggrieved look of utter shocked offense. His hands clench into fists in his lap, and he might actually throw his wine in Dennis’ face.

“I’m joking. Of course I want to bang you,” Dennis clarifies quickly before Mac has the chance to freak out. “I guess that makes me a sinner,” he says with a smirk, raising his arms.

“So you’ve… you’ve been with men before?” Mac asks softly. “You have,” he says, answering his own question.

“There was one guy at Penn,” Dennis says with a shrug. “And a few after.”

“Nothing special though.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“No, nothing special,” Dennis agrees. “Now, you and me… that would be special.”

Mac can’t help but smile, and his hands twitch as he fights the urge to reach over the table, pull Dennis to his feet by the lapels of his stupidly expensive Ralph Lauren shirt, and smash their lips together. Maybe after dinner he can do that.

“You ever think about how neither of us have ever had a serious relationship before?”

Dennis’ lips part and he looks like he wants to say something, but the words don’t come and he ends up closing his lips silently.

“Your failed marriage lasted all of two days,” Mac says softly. “I’ve never even had a proper girlfriend.”

“It’s never occurred to me to be something worth pursuing,” Dennis finally says. “Just never seemed worth my time.”

Mac drops his eyes to the table. “Same,” he mumbles quietly. He'd never even considered the idea of a significant other... it never seemed necessary when he had Dennis. “I kind of started believing… maybe we’re just not people meant for that kind of thing.”

“Maybe we should give it a try.”

Mac looks up and meets Dennis’ gaze, his expression somewhere between shocked and grateful. “You think we could make it work?”

“If there was ever a person that I _could_ make it work with, it’d be you.”

Mac grins, “I think we’re off to a pretty good start.” After a moment he leans closer over the table, dropping his voice to a hush. “And by the way, I fully expect you to reciprocate that hummer after dinner.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Dennis says coolly, taking another sip of his wine. “I fully expect to suck your intestines out of your dick.”

* * *

Mac thought Dennis was joking. He really did. Shame on him for underestimating Dennis’ sheer determination and dick sucking abilities.

It’s while in Dennis’ car after leaving the restaurant that Mac realizes they’re not heading back to Dee’s apartment. A trickle of dread runs down his spine as he recognizes the familiar route Dennis is taking. “Wait, where are we going?” Mac quickly asks, turning to Dennis in confusion.

“Back to _our_ apartment,” Dennis says, emphasizing the word carefully.

Mac gapes. “But the apartment’s not ready yet!”

“Well, we’re certainly not ending the night at Dee’s place.”

Mac shuffles nervously in his seat. He had spent nearly two months renovating the place. It was supposed to be a _surprise,_ and he’s just not ready for Dennis to see it yet. “We could always go back to the bar,” he suggests hopefully.

“No,” Dennis huffs. “I’m tired of always being around those guys, let’s go back to _our_ place.”

“But it’s not ready yet…” Mac says softly, despite already knowing he’s lost the battle.

“Well, I wanna see it! It’s my place too, you know. And you’ve kept it a secret for far too long!” Dennis shakes his head, trying to imagine what their apartment might look like after _two_ fires. “God knows what you’ve done to the place.”

“It’s supposed to be a surprise!” Mac whines. “Would’ve been done after a few more weeks…”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be surprised,” Dennis says dryly, already dreading what’s become of the place. His imagination is quickly filling in the holes-and it’s not being generous.

But as he soon finds out, once they arrive, the surprise is not how awful and unlivable the place looks. It’s the sheer familiarity of their old apartment hitting Dennis like a smack in the face.

Dennis only manages to spare Mac a split second glance before he gapes around the apartment in shock. The living room is amazingly close to how Dennis remembers it. The dark leather couch looks identical to the one they had before. The coffee table, TV, various knick knacks around the living room, right down to Mac’s dumb ass Hulk hand on top of the DVD player-it all looks the same. A quick glance to the kitchen and Dennis finds that Mac did a pretty impressive job in there as well.

“I’ve been working on furnishing it,” Mac says quickly, his face grinning as he eagerly awaits to see if Dennis is impressed. “You know it was really only your bedroom that got burned in the second fire,” his lips twist into a lopsided grin. “It actually didn’t take that much work to repair it! And I’ve been trying to find replicas of everything we lost. Some of the stuff I pulled out of our storage unit. And the bedrooms aren’t done yet-we’ve got no beds. But we have a couch!”

“I can see that,” Dennis says hesitantly, as his eyes move from the paintings hung on the wall, to the bike propped in the corner, to the damn telescope that looks to be the same model that they used to use to spy on the college girls across the street. There’s even their old vitamin bottles on the coffee table where Mac used to put them, despite Dennis repeatedly telling him they belong in the kitchen.

“Do you like it?” Mac asks, an eager grin on his face. Dennis ignores his question and walks past him into his old bedroom. “The bedrooms still need a lot of work!” Mac says, rushing after him.

Dennis looks around the large room. Mac clearly hadn’t gotten very far in furnishing this one. The windows are bare. The shelf is assembled, but there’s only a single bedside table, and a lone lamp sits unplugged on the floor. At least Mac put the right painting up on the wall. Despite the emptiness, it does feel a bit like home. 

“No bed, huh?” Dennis echoes Mac’s earlier sentiments.

“Beds are expensive,” Mac grumbles.

“I can buy the bed.” Dennis certainly has a lot of incentive to get one. He turns to the other man, a light smirk on his face. “Kind of weird that you wanted to surprise me with an exact replica of our old apartment, down to the very last detail… don't you think?”

“Why is it weird?” Mac shrugs his shoulders defensively.

“It’s bizarre is what it is,” Dennis answers. He raises an eyebrow before pushing past Mac into the living room. The more he looks around the place, the more familiar things he recognizes… and the more memories are brought back with them. Their beloved blue sombrero hangs on the wall. Some of the stuff was saved from the fire, and they had put into a rented storage unit because there was no way it would all fit at Dee’s tiny apartment. Other things Dennis knows for _certain_ were lost in the original fire. It must have taken Mac ages to track all of it down.

The kitchen is even stocked to the point where it looks damn near usable, including two cases of Coors Light stacked on top of the fridge.

Dennis had only meant to peek into Mac’s bedroom out of curiosity as he meanders through the kitchen. But what he sees has him throwing the half closed door wide open. “What is the _goddamn_ dildo bike doing in our apartment?!”

“It’s an exercise bike!” Mac exclaims, rushing into the bedroom after the other man. “An _awesome_ exercise bike that I modded. And I’ll have you know it’s a _great_ workout-”

“It’s a fucking dildo bike.” Dennis wrinkles his nose in disgust as he looks around the near empty bedroom.

Mac grits his teeth and blushes in embarrassment. “It’s an exercise bike,” he hisses under his breath.

“Oh, I’m sure.” Dennis says sarcastically as he nods towards the floor, upon which lay half a dozen dirty towels strewn about the room. He’s never going to miss an opportunity to see Mac squirm and stutter in sheer mortification. “I’m sure it gave you _quite_ the workout. I bet you felt it for _days,_ huh? I guess this means you don’t need to use my gym membership anymore-”

“ _Goddamnit it’s just a goddamn exercise bike!”_

Dennis lets out an undignified shout when he’s suddenly tackled to the floor. “What are you doing-” Mac’s body is on top of him, and the man is all arms. Dennis struggles, limbs flailing against Mac’s weight, trying and failing to get a good leg hold to flip him. “Get off of me you fat-”

“You son of a bitch!” Mac screams, pressing a large palm against Dennis’ face, much to the other man’s displeasure. “I am sick and tired of you not appreciating the things I do for you!”

“What are you talking about?” Dennis sputters against Mac’s sweaty hand.

“I spent _weeks_ working on our apartment and you can’t even tell me you like it, you piece of shit!” Mac screams furiously. “You are always putting me down! Always! And I’m fucking sick of it!”

Dennis finally manages to pry Mac’s hand away from his face. He gasps and makes a horrified squawk when he realizes his head is half lying on top of one of Mac’s dirty, probably jizz covered towels. “Mac! Are you _done_ yet? Get off of me!”

Mac’s hands find their way to Dennis’ wrists, pinning them against the cold, hardwood floor. “No,” he says sternly as he puts his weight fully on top of the other man’s hips. “Not until you say something nice to me. For everything that I’ve done for us and _our_ apartment.”

Dennis grumbles and seethes as he glares daggers at the man above him. His inflated ego won’t let him back down easily. But as they both pant from their exertion, he suddenly becomes very aware that Mac’s cock is currently pressing against his stomach.

Dennis raises his eyebrows. Mac breathes heavily above him, his lips parted slightly. The sight of it sends blood rushing straight to his dick. The feeling of Mac's hands wrapped tight around his wrists, pinning him down definitely doesn't help alleviate the situation happening in his pants. They did come here to be alone, after all. “You poppin' a boner on me?” He whispers hoarsely. A small thrust of his hips has Mac biting his lip as he swallows back a moan.

“You have a really nice cock,” Dennis says slowly. He’s completely serious and Mac blinks owlishly above him. “It’s thick and girthy _…_ and the perfect length, really. I bet you taste so good too…” Mac’s eyes flicker down to his lips and Dennis can’t help but smirk. He carefully wets his lips, a motion that doesn’t go unnoticed by the other man. “How about I find out?” Dennis asks softly.

Mac’s fingers slowly loosen their grip. They move together to the same rhythm as Mac allows Dennis to maneuver their bodies, until Mac is the one laying on the uncomfortable floor, propped up painfully on his elbows, and Dennis kneels between his legs, supporting himself on his hands and knees.

Mac breathes heavily as Dennis’ blue eyes watch him, wide with hunger. Heat pools into his stomach as Dennis leans closer, his hot breath brushing against his lips. For as long as he’s known the other man, Mac has craved to be the center of his attention. And now he has all of it.

Dennis, for his part, is loving it every bit as much as Mac. He yearns to be in control. He covets it, fucking gets off on it. And now, with Mac pinned beneath him, his deft fingers undoing the fly on those ridiculous pants that Mac always wears, he can’t help but think, _finally._

As Dennis releases Mac’s cock from the tight confines of his pants, he leans down and presses their lips together. It’s a rough, wet, messy kiss, with Mac reaching up for him, both hands wrapping around the sides of Dennis’ head, harshly pulling him down as they mewl into each other’s mouths. He can still taste their wine from dinner on Mac’s tongue. And he eagerly swallows every sound that Mac makes as he arches up against him.

Mac groans as Dennis’ fingers expertly stroke along the sensitive underside of his cock, twisting _just right_ under the head. “Dennis,” his voice is hoarse and foreign sounding to his ears as he gasps. “ _Fuck.”_ And when Dennis twists his fingers again, Mac sinks his teeth into the other man’s bottom lip, tugging until it’s just short of painful. He’s starting to think Dennis was bullshitting him about that blowjob, but it feels so good he can’t _quite_ bring himself to care. But then Dennis shifts. Their lips part and Mac protests softly at the loss.

Dennis shimmies down quickly and doesn’t give Mac the chance to get any words out before taking him into his mouth. His tongue filthily drags along the underside of Mac’s cock and he makes a soft humming noise, low and wanton, deep in his throat. The way Mac gasps and buries his hands in his hair has him hollowing his cheeks even further as he sucks, reveling in every sound Mac makes above him.

Dennis tilts his head up to look at Mac, blinking through his lashes-and yes, Mac is panting and shaking as he watches him expertly working his cock in and out of his mouth. Dennis moans obscenely around him as he takes him deep into his throat, making the other man groan loudly in response.

_“Dennis, I'm not gonna last long-”_

A trail of spit leaks out the corner of his stretched lips as he brings Mac closer and closer to the edge. His fingers sneak below the other man’s cock, gently rolling his balls before inching further back, pressing against that sensitive spot that forces sounds from Mac’s lips that aren’t entirely manly.

One more low rumble from Dennis’ throat and the vibrations have Mac cumming hard and fast. His broken gasps fill the air of the small room as his head falls back. And Dennis is swallowing every drop and making it look elegant.

Mac whispers his name as Dennis slowly lets him drop from his mouth. “Oh my god, Dennis.” Mac murmurs breathlessly.

“I warned you,” Dennis murmurs, crawling on his hands and knees until he’s leaning over the boneless heap of his best friend.

“Should’ve believed you,” Mac laments softly.

“Hm.” Dennis watches the other man silently as his breath slowly catches up with him. His own cock strains painfully in his pants and he considers all the ways he could get off. One particularly appealing idea hits him.

“How’s the plumbing?”

Mac opens his eyes and gives Dennis his best glare. “Not great, dude. The fucking shrimp bruschetta is _not_ sitting well. But uh… we’ll probably be good for at least a couple of hours, if you wanna…” He cocks an eyebrow suggestively, and it takes less than a second before Dennis straight up cackles.

“What?!” Mac demands furiously as the other man shakes in laughter. “It’s your goddamn fault! You’re the one who made me eat the-”

“I meant the fucking bathroom,” Dennis gasps between peals of laughter. “Is the plumbing working in the apartment, you moron.”

“Oh.” Mac blinks and there’s a moment of silence as they simply stare at each other, Dennis still grinning like a maniac. “Yeah, it’s working.” Mac finally says.

“Good. I’m gonna take a shower. You should join me, help take care of this problem of mine.” Dennis nods his head, gesturing to his crotch. “I’m definitely not putting anything up your ass after what you just shared.”

Mac snorts but doesn’t argue as they climb to their feet. He still feels a bit lightheaded but he shakes it off.

“You’ve probably got no stamina anyway.”

“Fuck you! I’ve got stamina! I’ve got lots of stamina!”

Dennis snickers, clearly amused, while Mac makes a piss poor attempt at looking angered and tough. Eventually though, he gives in and lets a grin tug at his lips. Which soon becomes a full body laugh, and for some reason, the sight of it causes Dennis’ stomach to churn in circles.

“C’mon.” Dennis ignores the feeling and tilts his head towards the door. “I’d rather not spend any more time with the dildo bike than I have to.”

“It’s an exercise bike! And it’s a great workout! I can show you-”

“Mac, I don’t need _any_ details about what you do with the dildo bike.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac's new rigorous workout regimen comes with a refusal to shower at the gym. It gets him into trouble.

_“Oh god, Mac you stink!”_

“Shut up, bird!”

Dee sighs heavily. “Doesn’t that ever get old?” She scrunches up her nose in disgust while inching back from the bar, because quite frankly, the other man _reeks_. She cringes and nearly chokes on her breath as Mac approaches, bringing with him a god awful stench of sweat. “Oh my god, what the hell did you do?”

“What-come on, it’s not that bad!” Mac lifts his arm and takes a sniff. He immediately winces. Okay, so maybe it is that bad. “I just got back from the gym!” He says defensively.

“Yeah Mac, I can see that.” Dee says from a good ten feet away. “Hell, I can _smell_ it! It’s fucking awful!”

Mac rolls his eyes and picks up the phone behind the bar, intent on ignoring the bird squawking in his ear. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Dee. I’m going home to take a shower, I just wanted to check my voicemail real quick,” he says as he punches in the number while holding the phone against his ear with his shoulder. “Forgot my cell at the apartment this morning.”

Dee groans and mutters something about having to disinfect the phone afterwards. “Who the hell leaves voicemails in this day and age anyway?”

His father hopefully. Mac’s dad has a good chance of getting out on parole soon. And while Mac’s last visit to the penitentiary didn’t exactly go as planned. His father refused to see him, he did end up sending letters pleading the other man to call him. He’s still hoping for another chance to get things right. No more misunderstandings, sabotages, or hijacks. This time, he’s going to be a good son, and his father will love him for it.  

So Mac listens intently to the automated voice with his heart in his throat, and it then subsequently sinks into his stomach when he hears that he has no new voicemails. Mac groans softly as he slams the receiver down. He should probably be used to disappointment by now.

And apparently, while he had been distracted, Dee is still going on and on about his unfavorable odor, which doesn’t make him feel any better.

“Why didn’t you just shower at the gym, like a _normal_ person?”

Mac shrugs, his mood soured as he turns away from the phone. “I… I didn’t feel like it. I don’t have to explain myself to you!”

Dee makes a sound like Mac’s answer is the most absurd thing she’s heard all day. “What? Why the hell not?”

Mac shuffles awkwardly on his feet. “I-I hate the showers at the gym,” he stutters. “They’re… gross and… dirty.” It’s not completely untrue.

“Wait, that’s not right.” Charlie chimes in, appearing out of nowhere. “You used to shower at the gym all the time. Even before you started actually working out there and were just going to ogle the dudes-”

“No. No. NO.” Mac says loudly. “That’s not what I did. I _never_ did that-”

Dee and Charlie make simultaneously chortles of disagreement. Even Frank joins in from his bar stool where he sits with his breakfast of nose clams, only half paying attention to the conversation. The whole thing seems to be a bit of a lost cause.

“I… only go to the gym for a good pump… nowadays,” Mac concedes softly, flustered. “I just don’t like the showers, okay? They’re all… open and public, and you got guys with their butts just all out there in the open.” Mac waves his hands and makes a face as he tries really, _really_ hard not to think about beefy, sweaty guys and their naked butts. “It’s just-it’s just not for me. I just don’t like it, okay? I’m-I’m gonna shower at home.”

There’s a moment of silence while the others simply stare, before the commotion breaks out.

“ _What?_ Are you fucking kidding me?” Dee screeches. “Aren’t you screwing my brother?”

“Wait, wait-is that why you’re not showering at the gym? Because of Dennis?” Charlie guffaws loudly. “You tryin’ to stay away from temptation or something? That’s real sweet, dude.”

“Oh my god,” Mac mutters under his breath, closing his eyes. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to deal with this right now.

“Hey hey, how’s that going anyway?” Charlie asks excitedly. “I haven’t really seen Dennis in a while, you guys banging yet?”

Mac pales.

“Nah, they haven’t banged yet,” Frank interrupts before Mac gets a chance to speak for himself.

“How do you know, Frank?” Dee questions.

“Look at him,” Frank lazily waves a hand in Mac’s direction. “He’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. He’s spent three hours at the damn gym every day this week. That look like a man who’s been banging a lot lately?”

“Huh.” Dee and Charlie echo together, while Mac rolls his eyes tiredly. Frank’s not wrong though.

“Goddamnit,” Mac mutters, as if he wasn’t stressed enough before.

“Relax dude, we’re happy for you guys,” Charlie quips.

“I’m just glad they’re finally out of my apartment,” Dee drawls. “They can bang ‘til the cows come home for all I care.”

“We’re not… we’re not _banging_.” Mac says carefully. He’d give his left nut for them to start banging. “I mean, we’ve done other stuff… like _everything_ but that.”

“Why, dude?”

Mac shakes his head. “I don’t know, man. Dennis is being weird about it. You know how he gets when-”

“No,” Dee interrupts, her voice dripping with mockery. “No, we don’t know. None of us have tried to bang Dennis before.”

Charlie laughs. “Yeah, really can’t help you out there.”

“So… still not gay, huh?” Dee asks with a smirk.

“Still not gay,” Mac says through gritted teeth. “We’re just… experimenting. Having some _fun_.” He spits every bit of his pent up frustration into the emphasis of the word.

“Yeah, sounds like you’re having buckets of fun,” Dee mocks sarcastically.

“At least I stand a chance of actually getting laid!”

Dee bursts out in laughter. “Oh, have you not heard? I guess you’ve been out of the loop for a bit, huh? Preoccupied with my brother and what have you… But I have a new man. You want to talk about getting laid? I’m running _circles_ around you right now.”

Mac’s eyes widen in shock. “Since when?”

“Since about two weeks ago,” Dee grins wickedly. “His name’s Sean. He takes me out. Treats me like a real lady. I think this one might be a keeper.”

“He’s an ass,” Charlie says flatly.

Dee scoffs. “What are you talking about, Charlie?”

“Oh, you mean that time he took you out to Guigino’s and ‘conveniently’ forgot his wallet?” Charlie makes air quotes with his fingers.

“Oh yeah,” Mac chuckles and nods his head eagerly as Dee rolls her eyes. “I’ve pulled that one before.”

“Not to mention the last time he came in here to pick you up, he was totally hitting on the chicks at the bar while you were in the back room! He’s a total scumbag, Dee!”

“No, he isn’t,” Dee insists, despite the fact that she’s witnessed this behavior herself on more than one occasion. “He’s just… a friendly, chatty guy, that’s all.”

“He’s a piece of shit,” Charlie says. “And you deserve better than that,” he adds, much to everyone’s surprise.

“Hey, if Deandra can find a man willing to put up with her, then I say, good for her.” Frank snorts an impressive line off the bar top while the others watch with silent aversion. “She ain’t gettin’ any younger.”

“Thanks, dad.” Dee mutters, nodding her head. “Just what a girl wants to hear.”

Mac pulls a face, feeling a twinge of sympathy.

* * *

It turns out achy muscles after an intense workout don’t feel any better after a long walk, leisurely as it may be. Mac’s feet are killing him by the time he makes it back to the apartment. He just missed the bus by minutes leaving Paddy’s, and figured waiting around for the next one would get him home in about the same time as walking. To be honest, he could use a bit of peace and quiet with his thoughts. The situation with Dennis had been too weird lately. And as much as Mac would like to say that he’s completely fine with… whatever they are, the truth is that he’s still not completely ready to embrace this new lifestyle.

He hates the way he flinches and averts his eyes whenever he sees two men holding hands on the street. He hates the way the guilt eats at him. And deep down in his soul, he’s still terrified that what he’s doing is wrong, wrong, _wrong._ And surely God must be so disappointed in him. Maybe the worst of all is how he hates how much he wants it. His whole life he felt like something was missing. Or maybe the pieces were all there, but they were scrambled, and the picture was a blur. This _thing_ with Dennis is the first moment of clarity amongst a long lifetime of hazy, _should I-shouldn’t I_ decisions.

Dennis is a beacon of light. And Mac is drawn to him like a moth to flame. He couldn’t fight it even if his life depended on it.

But of course the bastard isn’t going to make it easy for him. He never does. Ever since they moved back into their apartment not long ago, he’s sweet one moment and then snappy the next. He gives Mac a blowjob in the kitchen and then doesn’t touch him for a day. He buys _them_ one bed to share in the big bedroom and then screams that Mac is ‘crowding’ him. It’s enough to make his head spin. Even after decades of dealing with Dennis’ mood swings, there are still moments when he’s at a loss for what to do.

And as Mac opens the door to apartment twenty five and steps into their mostly furnished home, once again he’s thrown for another loop.

Familiar voices and sounds drift out from the cracked doorway of their bedroom and sends a tingle of dread down his spine.

“Dennis?” He calls out as he approaches the bedroom.

He definitely recognizes those sounds. Grunts and moans too familiar to his ears, and as he swings open the door, the images he sees displayed on Dennis’ brand new flat screen confirm his fears.

It’s himself. And Trevor Taft. Engaged in some… misleadingly lascivious behavior in Dennis’ bedroom, long before it burned down and was rebuilt. Twice.

Dennis watches from the bed, sitting on the edge, eyes glued to the screen where Mac’s grinning face is scrunched in ecstasy and pleasure, taking up half the damn screen. They were only mere inches from the camera as they engaged in their… activities. Dennis wears a mostly neutral expression of nonchalance, except for the small smirk that tugs at his lips.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?!”

“Hey Mac,” Dennis says cooly without lifting his eyes from the screen. “Was wondering when you’d get back.”

Mac feels like his brain is short circuiting. He can't comprehend what he's seeing in front of him. “Why-why- _why_ do you have that tape?! Why are you _watching_ it?! What are you-”

“Oh, this little thing?” Dennis asks casually, finally turning his head and pointing at the screen. “Just something I dug out of my collection.”

“You kept it?!” Mac screeches, still frozen in place near the doorway. “Why?! Why would you do that?!”

Dennis smirks and reaches for the remote, pausing it just in time to freeze Mac’s face after a particularly hard ‘wrestling move’ from behind. “I don’t know,” Dennis murmurs softly, tilting his head at the screen. “It’s kind of hot. It’s getting me all bothered.”

Mac’s face flushes red. “It’s… it’s not meant to be… it’s just _wrestling!_ You don’t-you don’t get your rocks off from watching wrestling!”

Dennis slowly turns his head towards him, his eyes flashing dangerously and it’s a look Mac knows all too well. “Mac… you bring a stranger into our home, fuck him in _my_ bedroom, and you have the audacity to call it _wrestling?”_

Mac swallows nervously. “I was showing him some moves from Da’ Maniac-”

Dennis stands to his feet, showing no signs of backing down. “Mac,” he says in a low voice, his eyes sharp and unblinking as he approaches. “You let some rich douchebag touch you, take it up the ass, _knowing_ that I would see it. What exactly were you hoping to accomplish?”

Mac blinks. “It-it was a long time ago, Dennis-”

“Did you like it?” Dennis sneers. “Taking it from behind from some rich fuck who- _oh god, Mac you stink!”_ And just like that, the facade drops. Dennis scrunches up his face and takes a step back, eager to get out of Mac’s vicinity where he still radiates olfactory evidence of his morning workout. “What the hell?!”

“Yeah… yeah, I was going to take a shower,” Mac says sheepishly. “I-I just came back from the gym-”

“Jesus _christ_ , Mac.”

“Sorry…” Mac grimaces. The moment is ruined. Whatever weird, sexually charged moment they were having. And now he’s just left very confused and still very, very smelly. “Should I…” He points to the bathroom adjoining their bedroom.

“Yes! Just go! Just go shower, _goddamnit_.” Dennis looks really pissed. He won’t even look Mac in the eye as he curses. “Sonofabitch.”

Mac stares helplessly for a second before jumping into motion, and he quickly shuffles into Dennis’ bathroom, clicking the door shut gently behind him.

_What the hell???_

He doesn’t think too hard about it as he strips out of his workout clothes. He doesn’t think about what it means that Dennis kept that tape as he steps under the cold spray of water. Except that Dennis almost seems _mad_ at him? So typical for him to get pissed over something that happened _years_ ago. Why is this coming out now? Well, now Mac is thinking about all of it.

And he’s getting defensive, worked up, and above all else, horny.

He quickly works up a lather from his three-in-one bottle of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash that Dennis absolutely _detests-_ he says it makes him smell like a Jersey frat boy-and cleans himself as quickly as humanly possible. He jumps out of the shower, grabs one of the towels on the rack, and messily attempts to dry his hair as best he can before wrapping it around his waist.

Dennis better be waiting for him.

“All clean!” Mac exclaims, throwing open the door and stepping out. He stumbles as he distractedly tries to keep the towel up around his waist, dripping water all over the floor. But with any luck, the towel won’t be staying on for long.

The screen is off. Dennis doesn’t say a word from where he sits on the bed, back against the headboard, arms crossed, expression alarmingly closed off as he glares at the dark screen of his new TV.

Fortunately, Mac is no stranger to this type of behavior from his best friend.

“So uh… you were watching Trevor and me…” Mac awkwardly shifts his eyes side to side. “Um, wrestling…”

“You’re not in a room full of strangers, Mac.” Dennis says tiredly. “You can say it.”

Mac stubbornly shrugs his shoulders. “We were just getting a good workout, dude.”

“You were screwing him, Mac!” Dennis suddenly screams. “You were banging him! In my goddamn bedroom!”

“Are you mad at me or something?” Mac asks, suddenly very, very confused. “This happened ages ago! Like…” He actually has to think about it for a second. “Four goddamn years ago!”

Dennis stubbornly looks away without an answer.

“So why are you getting all worked up over it now? And I thought you destroyed all your tapes in a fit of rage, why the hell do you still have this one? Why the hell were you watching it?” Mac stares at the silent man, utterly perplexed by his behavior. “Dennis?!”

Dennis groans softly and rolls his eyes, looking somewhat like an annoyed child who’s not getting what he wants.

“It was-it was supposed to be a whole thing…” Dennis reluctantly explains, waving his hand at nothing. “And then you ruined it with your fucking stench! It’s fucking ruined now. Let’s just-let’s just move on! Just forget it!” He climbs off the bed, putting it between him and Mac. He’s already heading towards the door, but Mac isn’t going to let him go that easily.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Mac scurries around the bed, still dripping water everywhere as he makes his way across the room to catch Dennis before he can leave in a fit. “Just hang on a second,” he says as his brain tries to catch up to the situation. “Was this… was this supposed to be a sex thing?”

Dennis purses his lips as he sighs heavily through his nostrils. “What?! No, of course not!”

Mac easily recognizes Dennis’ piss poor attempt at lying. “It is! You son of a bitch! You were _trying_ to make me feel bad! The-the whole thing with the video!” Mac waves an angry hand in the direction of the TV. “You were trying to manipulate me! With your goddamn mind games! We were-” Mac gasps softly as the revelation hits him. “We were gonna bang!”

Dennis rolls his eyes. The bastard doesn’t even bother trying to deny it.

“What is up with you?” Mac screeches. “Why do you do that? Why do you play these goddamn games? That is really messed up, dude!”

“There’s no need to exaggerate,” Dennis says lowly.

“I am _not_ exaggerating.” Mac’s hands are fisted around the top of the towel around his waist. “What is with your compulsive need to be in control all the time?”

“That’s not what this is!” Dennis blinks at the ridiculous notion.

“I know you, Dennis.” Luckily for the other man, Mac’s anger blazes bright, and fades quickly. “That is exactly what this is. Can’t we just have sex like normal people?”

“You fucked that rich douchebag in my room!”

Now it’s Mac’s turn to roll his eyes. “Four years ago. And… the body oil was in here.”

Dennis only glares harder. But his edges are softening as well. “How many guys have you banged?” He asks curiously.

“Dominated,” Mac quickly clarifies. “I have dominated _quite_ a few men.” He nods his head like it’s something to be proud of.

Dennis stares, completely dumbfounded. “Looks to me like that asshole was dominating you,” he says with a raised eyebrow.

“Well,” Mac shrugs, a smirk on his lips. “Only because I let him.”

Dennis looks like he wants to say something, but his lips remain stubbornly closed. Mac takes a deep breath as he considers his next move. Sometimes Dennis is impossible to read. “It doesn’t have to be that way, you know.” Mac says softly as he takes a step closer and reaches out for the other man. “C’mere.”

“Are we finally bangin’?” Dennis murmurs. And can it be that he actually looks nervous?

Mac grins, finding it endearing. “Yeah… yeah, we’re gonna bang.” He leans forward and presses their lips together. A hand reaches up to gently cup Dennis’ jaw before snaking to the back of his head, holding him close. Dennis moans against him, probably because Mac kisses him so hard, it feels like his lips might bruise. His fingers find their way to the top of Mac’s towel. A gentle tug and it drops heavily to the floor.

“Get on the damn bed,” Dennis says roughly.

Mac eagerly obliges as Dennis maneuvers him in the right direction. The back of his legs hit the edge of the bed and he falls back onto the mattress. And when Dennis follows him down, landing carefully on top of him, still unwilling to break the kiss, Mac looks up and sees how much Dennis wants this too. Dennis pants heavily above him, his face flushed and blue eyes half-lidded in lust. His hands travel across Mac’s naked torso as Mac arches up beneath him.

Dennis starts rocking against him, making a muffled, broken noise when the tight strain in his pants brushes against him, and Mac thinks he might be in love with Dennis Reynolds. God knows he’d give an arm and a leg to hear his feelings reciprocated. But for now, he’ll settle for this. And he tugs impatiently at Dennis’ shirt. Dennis pulls back just for a second, and together they reach for the buttons, unable to get his clothes off fast enough.

“Okay, this time you can be on top,” Mac says breathily. “But next time… next time _I’m_ gonna be on top.”

“Hm,” Dennis chuckles softly. “You gotta earn that,” he murmurs against Mac’s lips.

They’re finally naked. There’s a moment of charged hesitation as they look into each other’s eyes and Mac thanks his lucky stars when Dennis kisses him again. He’s half certain he was about to say those three words that would have _definitely_ ruined the moment.

And when Dennis finally _touches_ him, coaxes his way _inside_ him, Mac chokes on the air in his lungs. They were always meant for this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dee's new boyfriend is unimpressive. But Dennis is much too preoccupied with his own man to care.

A familiar scent invades Dennis’ nostrils as he gently noses the back of Mac’s neck. He's surprisingly unbothered by this type of intimacy with Mac. If anything, he deems it quite pleasant. His fingers lightly press into Mac’s hips as they lazily stand against one another. The other man shivers, feeling Dennis’ lips ghost across his flesh, even as his paranoid eyes glance around the empty bar.

“Have you been using my body wash?” Dennis murmurs against his skin.

“You keep complaining about the ‘cheap shit’ I use,” Mac shrugs defensively.

“And you think I wouldn’t complain about you stealing my quality, personal care products?” Dennis shoots back.

Mac bites his lip and has the audacity to look ashamed.

Dennis grins, finding something incredibly endearing about the look on Mac’s face. He pulls the other man around and leans forward, effectively boxing him in against the bar. “You do smell good though,” Dennis murmurs against his lips.

They share a slow but affectionate kiss, however short lived, as the front door bursts open and Mac immediately pushes him back and away. The other man turns and pretends to busy himself with something behind the bar as their new arrivals approach, clearly deep in the midst of an argument.

Dennis smirks at the back of Mac’s head as Dee joins them behind the bar.

“I don’t see what the big deal is, Charlie!” Dee shouts, pouring herself three shots of vodka as they watch with vague curiosity. She immediately throws one back, slams the empty glass on the counter, and then reaches for another.

“This is the third time this week you’re ditching me, and you don’t see why I might have a problem with that?” Charlie slams his hands on the bar. “We made plans weeks ago to see this movie on opening night-I even brought my three dimensional glasses in case they ran out!” He pulls them out of his pocket to wave in Dee’s face before slamming them harshly against the bar.

Dee rolls her eyes and finishes off the last shot of vodka, wincing as it makes its way down. “Charlie, I’m sorry.” She says, her tone gentler. “But we can go this weekend, alright?”

Charlie scoffs in disbelief. “I doubt it. Something’s probably gonna come up with _Sean_ again!”

Dennis and Mac simultaneously raise their eyebrows at being caught in the middle of an awkward argument.

“You know what, something _might_ come up!” Dee agrees. “I don’t know!”

“You’re spending all this time with this _Sean_ guy!”

“He’s my boyfriend, Charlie!” Dee screams at him. “You know what, I don’t have time for this. Sean’s coming to pick me up any second now. I have to get ready for my date!”

“Probably shouldn’t have drunk all those shots,” Dennis mutters under his breath.

“Shut up!” Dee hisses at her brother as she stomps off to the ladies’ room without another word.

“Jeez, what is going on with you two?” Mac asks once Dee’s out of earshot.

“Nothing’s going on,” Charlie says, his voice dripping with frustration. “She just keeps ditching me and canceling our plans. It’s pissing me off!”

“So what?” Dennis glances at Mac and they share a look of nonchalance. “Why do _you_ care? And since when do you two hang out anyway?”

“We hang out all the time!” Charlie groans at the blank looks on the other guys’ faces. Of course they wouldn’t get it. “It’s just, ever since she started going out with this new boyfriend of hers, it’s like he’s suddenly her only priority! And this guy is such an asshole, man! Oh, like you would not believe!”

But apparently, they can believe it.

“No surprise there,” Dennis shrugs his shoulders.

“Dee has the worst taste in men,” Mac agrees. “She always has.”

“This is bullshit, dude! I gotta talk to Frank. Is he in the back office?” Charlie points to the door and walks away without even waiting for a response, muttering curses under his breath.

Mac frowns as he watches him go. “You think they’re banging?” He asks casually.

Dennis snorts. “Charlie and Dee? No way,” he laughs. But Mac raises an eyebrow at him and his grin slowly drops. “No way…” He mutters after a long moment of consideration. Charlie and his sister?! He can’t imagine it. “That’s just not right,” he says dryly.

“Speaking of…” Mac drawls, now that they’re alone again. He reaches out a hand to pull at Dennis’ belt, tugging him out of his thoughts. He presses a soft kiss to Dennis’ jaw before trailing his way to his lips. “Speaking of banging…”

“You wanna bang here?” Dennis raises an eager eyebrow.

“We already did that. I want to bang _you,”_ Mac clarifies.

Dennis pulls a face and rolls his eyes dramatically. _This_ conversation again. And while Dennis likes to make a fuss, _pretending_ to be annoyed by Mac’s repeated requests to top… _For once,_ Mac would plead, insisting he’d make it _sooo_ good for him. But the truth is, Dennis enjoys holding this power over the other man. He likes being in control, and he’s going to keep it that way. And though Mac clearly already idolizes him, allowing him to hold on to some future promise of a sexual conquest that Dennis may or may not ever submit to him is an easy way to ensure Mac’s attention will never wander.

Not to mention, Mac’s pained desperation also adds to the thrill.

“Come on, Dennis.” Mac whines. “I’ve let you do me like four times now! When are you gonna let me top? I’d make it good! I’d make it _so_ good! Trust me, I _know_ what I’m doing!”

“Mac… Mac, sweetheart…” Dennis says gently as he caresses the other man’s face tenderly with his palm. “I’ve told you before, you have to earn it.”

“Earn it?” Mac sputters. “What the hell does that even mean?”

“I am a sex _god.”_ Dennis says simply. “My experience and talents go _far_ beyond what your wildest hopes could achieve. And you, Mac… you still have so much to learn from me.”

“What?! That is bullshit!” Mac fumes. “I mean… I mean, yeah I’ve had to make some adjustments in the past,” he admits reluctantly. “But that’s okay! I’m okay with that! I can do that!”

“Oh Mac,” Dennis gives him a sympathetic look. They’ve got a long way to go, and Mac truly has no idea what he’s in for, just the way Dennis likes it. “Don’t you worry, baby. I’ve got some plans for us,” he says cryptically, already throwing around a few nasty, sinful ideas in his head.

“Any of your plans involve my dick in your ass?” Mac grumbles as Dennis pushes them towards the door.

They almost make it, when the front door swings open before them, and in walks a guy, roughly their age, with light brown hair, blue eyes, and a strong jaw. He might even be considered conventionally attractive if not for the air of arrogant douche-baggary that he carries with him.

“Hi, I’m looking for Dee?”

The guy’s wearing a sports jacket over blue jeans and loafers. Dennis’ nose wrinkles in disgust. And when he feels Mac stiffen beside him, he dislikes the guy even more.

“Are you Sean?” Dennis asks casually. The other man nods. “I’m Dennis. This is Mac.” He gestures next to him with a nod of his head. Mac has gone very still beside him. Mac and his fucking ocular pat downs… Dennis fights the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he slowly slides his hand from his shoulder to the small of his back, offering some semblance of comfort.

“Dennis?” Sean looks between the two of them. “Are you Dee’s brother?”

“Yeah.”

“I see good looks run in the family.” Sean smirks and gives him a lewd glance up and down.

Dennis can practically see the steam coming from Mac’s ears and he tightens his grip on the waist of the back of Mac’s pants. “Nice to meet you,” Dennis says with a fake smile. He pushes Mac towards the door, and luckily the douche seems to take a hint and steps to the side, letting them pass.

“You two have a good night,” Sean shouts after them.

“I did not clear him,” Mac hisses fervidly once they’re outside. “I did not clear him, Dennis!”

“I know, baby. I know,” Dennis hushes.

“What a fucking dick,” Mac fumes under his breath. “I’ve said it before, dude. Dee has the worst taste in men.”

“Whatever. Not our problem,” Dennis states. “Let’s get out of here.” His mind has already eagerly moved on to the lascivious things he’s got in store for them once they’re back at the apartment. He bursts out a delightful laugh as he lands a sharp pinch to Mac’s ass that makes the other man yelp.

Dennis honestly couldn’t give a damn about Dee’s new boyfriend.

* * *

_“You know this would be way more better if you were to actually join me, right?”_

Dennis smirks from his chair sat in the corner of the room. His eyes swing up to glance at Mac laying on their bed before returning to the small screen of the camcorder held in his hands.

“No, I think I’m perfectly fine where I am,” Dennis murmurs softly as he watches Mac on the display screen. He bites his bottom lip as Mac groans softly, sprawled out naked on their freshly cleaned sheets with a hand wrapped around himself. This is exactly the type of power and control over another man that gets him off.

“Slower,” Dennis murmurs at him. _“Slow down baby…”_

Mac makes a growl of frustration as he throws his head back against the bed and arches his back. But he obeys, and his hand moves slower, from the base of his cock to the tip, his fingers twist against the sensitive underside and he releases a shaky, shuddered breath through his lips.

Dennis stares, completely enthralled by the sight.

“I don’t get it, dude.” Mac turns his head to glance at him. “Look, I thought the whole point of having a boyfriend is so I wouldn’t have to jerk myself off. How is this good for either of us?”

Dennis ignores the way his heart clenches at the word ‘ _boyfriend’_ and tilts his head to the side. “You’ll see…” He replies casually. “Just give it time.”

“Are you even getting off on this?” Mac asks incredulously. He glances down to Dennis’ crotch where his boxer briefs are visibly tented, but untouched.

“Oh yeah, baby.” Dennis murmurs. He picks up the bottle of lube that had been sitting next to his lap and tosses it onto the bed. “We’re both gonna get off.”

Mac picks up the bottle and raises an eyebrow.

“I want to see you finger yourself.”

Mac pauses for a long moment as he glares at Dennis from the bed.

“You gotta do what I say. Those are the rules.”

Mac drops his defiant stare for an exasperated huff and a roll of his eyes. He flicks open the cap and squeezes a generous amount onto his fingers. If Dennis doesn’t want to join him, he figures he might as well get himself off-and enjoy it. He spreads the cold liquid over his fingers, warming it up a bit before reaching down, completely aware that Dennis is watching his every move with intense fascination.

Mac bites his lip as he traces a finger around his sensitive ring of muscle before slowly pressing it inside himself. He gasps softly and his eyes flutter shut. His muscles eventually relax at the intrusion and he slowly pulls his finger out to the tip… only to push it back in again slowly. He carefully builds up a rhythm as his other hand snakes up to stroke his cock. He sighs heavily and his chest heaves. And when he curls his finger _just_ right, he can  _almost_ imagine it’s Dennis inside him.

Dennis watches with dark, hooded eyes as Mac finger fucks himself with ease. “How’s that feel?” He asks huskily.

“It’d feel better if it were your cock,” Mac manages to say as he gives his balls a gentle squeeze.

“Add another finger.” Dennis smirks as Mac spreads his legs a little wider, trying to get a better angle. “I want to see you stretch yourself out.”

Mac’s panting through parted lips. He tries to stifle his moans as he starts to work a second finger into himself. His hand aches from being pressed under his body but he ignores it, and slowly, carefully he stretches himself apart, working his fingers nice and deep. A soft whimper falls from his lips as he squeezes his throbbing cock. The sensations are getting to be just a bit too much. He thinks he hears a soft groan from the man sitting on the side of the room. He’d half forgotten Dennis is there, watching him get off and getting off on being in control of his every move.

“ _Oh fuuuck_ ,” Mac curses softly as his back arches off the bed from another intense wave of pleasure.

“Slow down,” Dennis demands in a low growl. “You’re not finishing just yet.”

“You son of a bitch,” Mac whines, high pitched and stuttered, as he bites down on his bottom lip to stifle another cry.

Dennis watches the other man stretch his hole tight around his fingers, panting heavily and writhing against the bed as he twists his wrist around his leaking cock. With his neck exposed, head thrown back in ecstasy, Dennis has to bite down painfully on his lip to keep himself in his seat as he watches.  

It’s completely erotic. The sight is intoxicating. 

“ _Dennis…”_ Mac moans as he brings himself closer to the edge. “Dennis, I’m gonna cum…”

“No,” Dennis murmurs softly. “You don’t cum until I say you do.”

_“Dennis-”_

“Turn over. Get on your knees. Ass in the air. _”_

Mac’s eyes fly open as his head falls to the side. He almost loses it from just seeing the look of hunger and lust on Dennis’ face. Dennis could ask him to do anything, and Mac would do it without protest.

A soft whimper slips from Mac’s throat as he pulls his fingers out and turns over on the bed. He supports himself on his elbows and knees as he waits for further instruction.

“Keep fingering yourself,” Dennis says in a low voice. He grins as the other man moans pitifully when his fingers return to their previous position. Mac hisses, his free hand clenches around the sheets of their bed as he presses deep into himself. “Now tell me what you want.”

“I want to feel you,” Mac gasps as he continues to fuck himself with his fingers. “I want to feel you inside me.”

“You want me to fuck you, baby boy?”

_“God yes.”_

Dennis’ chest swells along with his ego. “Say that again,” he whispers.

_“God yes, Dennis-”_

He wonders if Mac even realizes the effect he has on him. He wants to hear Mac chant his name like a goddamn prayer.

“Tell me how badly you want it.”

_“Please, Dennis, I want it so bad… I want to feel you inside me… fucking me, please-"_

Dennis smirks as he silently stands to his feet. His eyes drop to the camcorder in his hands, where the little Mac on the tiny display screen continues to beg him to fuck him. He can already tell this one is going to be a four star bang.

_“Dennis, please-”_

Dennis glances up and decides it’s time to give Mac what he’s begging for. He places the camcorder on the shelf behind him, still carefully aimed at the bed-he doesn’t want to miss a second of this.

He pads over to the bed silently. His thumb hooks under the waistband of his boxer briefs, slipping them off as he goes. “So impatient,” Dennis murmurs as he reaches the foot of the bed. He tilts his head to side, admiring the angle that wonderfully displays Mac’s fingers still buried deep inside his ass.

Mac lifts his head and tilts back to look at him over his shoulder. “Jesus christ, hurry up,” he gasps, watching Dennis reach for the abandoned bottle of lube and generously slick it over his cock.

“So eager for my cock.” Dennis runs a hand slowly over Mac’s back as he strokes himself to full hardness. When he reaches his ass, he tugs Mac’s hand away, giving his pert cheek a firm squeeze. “Want me to fuck you, baby?”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Mac gasps. “I always knew you took forever-”

Dennis snorts, mildly offended, but he brushes it off. Mac’s not the only one brimming with anticipation. “I’ll give you what you want,” he says softly as he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to the other man’s spine. He revels in the way Mac trembles under his lips. He slowly fists his cock in his hand and bites back a moan. Mac is already pressing back against him. And finally, Dennis lines himself up, and pushes into him in one slow, fluid motion.  

Mac lets out a choked cry when he’s filled. For a heavy moment, Dennis doesn’t move. He pants heavily, closing his eyes at how good it feels. Mac’s body is tight and hot around him. His arms fall around the other man’s torso, pulling him close, and he muffles his gasps in the sensitive spot where Mac’s neck meets his shoulder.

“You can move,” Mac gasps softly.

That’s all the incentive Dennis needs. He starts with slow, shallow thrusts. “How’s it feel, huh?” He whispers breathlessly as his fingers dig into Mac’s hips hard enough to bruise.

 _“So good, so good Den-”_ Mac’s moans quickly become more desperate as Dennis fucks him harder and harder.

“Don’t you fucking touch yourself,” Dennis growls when he sees the other man’s hand move down the bed, and Mac whines pitifully at him in response.

“I tell you when you can cum,” Dennis whispers into Mac’s ear. His tongue snakes out to trail over his earlobe before he gently tugs it between his teeth. “You want me to touch you?”

_“God yes-please-”_

Dennis indulges him. He reaches a hand beneath them and takes Mac’s cock in his palm, stroking him to the same beat of his thrusts. He’s positively glowing when he hears the beautiful cries torn from Mac’s throat. They practically send him over the edge.

Dennis pants heavily as his thrusts get faster and harder. He can feel how close the other man is. _“Cum for me, baby.”_

Mac gasps and trembles as he lets himself go. His moans are muffled into the sheets as his cock spurts messily over Dennis’ fingers as he tightens around him. Dennis shakes and groans as his own orgasm hits. And they ride it out together before collapsing in a heavy, sweaty, boneless heap on the bed.

“Oh my god,” Mac gasps as he struggles to catch his breath.  

Dennis closes his eyes, still deep in his blissful haze. He’s much too tired to move, so he presses sweet kisses to the back of Mac’s neck. “Four stars,” he murmurs. “Definitely four stars.”

Mac’s labored breathing slowly evens as they lie together on the ruined sheets of their bed. “You really get off on power play, don’t you?” He tilts his head back to glance at Dennis. “Being in control?”

Dennis raises an eyebrow. “I guess I do.”

A grin slowly spreads on Mac’s lips. There’s still a rosy blush on his cheeks. And he looks so relaxed and beautiful, Dennis thinks he might be fucked. This could be it for him.

But the moment passes when Mac smacks him on the arm. “Gross, I’m laying in my own spunk, dude.” Mac complains. “Get off of me.”

Dennis chuckles as he pulls out gently and rolls over to the side. His eyes never leave the other man as Mac climbs off the bed and makes his way into the bathroom to clean himself off.

As his heart rate slowly returns to its resting pace, Dennis finds himself shocked by the intensity of his feelings. Feelings that Mac seems to bring about in him. Pleasure, happiness, and ecstasy… Maybe even love.

It feels wonderfully amazing.

But it doesn’t make him feel in control. And along with all that joy and euphoria, there’s a hint of something else buried in the mix. Fear.

Dennis likes being in control. He needs to be in control. That’s just a fact Mac has to accept. One way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Being in control of his every single move... that's how you get off."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Dee argue over their seduction tactics. The Sheriff of Paddy's takes care of business.

“Do you actually go out of your way to stomp around this place with those gigantic clodhoppers you call feet? Because I think you do.” Dennis throws Dee a side-eyes glance, which she returns with a death glare of her own.

“Screw you, dickbrain.”

Dennis snorts and lazily returns his gaze back to the phone in his hands. It’s typically a recipe for spiteful rudeness and dysfunction when it’s just him and Dee running the bar. But he makes the choice not to add fuel to the fire as he thumbs through the messages on his phone, being careful to hide the screen from view of his sister as she stacks clean glasses behind the bar.

He pauses on a picture in the message thread and taps to full screen the image. Little Brian Jr. balances precariously on all fours and stares up, wide eyed into the camera, probably as shocked by the feat as his mother. His son crawled on his own for the first time according to Mandy’s texts. Something shockingly close to tenderness tugs at his chest as he continues to flip through the latest series of photos that Mandy had sent him. His son is nine months old now, and still has yet to meet his father in person.

A few minutes every week or so over the phone doesn’t really count. But Mandy insists it’s nice for Brian Jr. to hear his voice. Even Dennis can’t deny that he enjoys listening to the garbled noises his kid makes over the line.

Mandy asks again and again when he’ll finally make the trip to North Dakota to see them. The mother of his child has yet to realize every word he’d spoken to her had been a carefully crafted lie. For nearly a year now, Brian Lefevre’s work schedule is so hectic it just won’t allow any time off for a trip. Unfortunately, there’s only so many excuses Dennis can make for his alter ego before she starts calling bullshit on him. He really has no desire to open that can of worms with a woman he had a one night stand with-or the child that came about from it. He plans to stay as far away from North Dakota as Philly will allow.

And he doesn’t feel _that_ bad about it. After all, he’s been sending child support for the last year. With alimony out of the way thanks to Maureen’s untimely demise, the child support has been much better on his bank account.

Mandy’s grateful for his help. Though she keeps saying she wants her son’s father involved in his life. Dennis can’t handle that right now.

He saves the new photos to his phone, and then immediately deletes the text conversation.

His chest pulses as he shudders a heavy breath, and he wipes a hand tiredly over his face. His stomach is twisted into achy, painful knots, and he can’t quite figure out why. He wants nothing more than to get the heavy thoughts out of his mind.

“How’s that douchebag boyfriend of yours?” Dennis suddenly asks, as casually as he can. He’s eager for a distraction, but also doesn’t want to sound like he actually gives a shit about Dee’s life.

“He’s fine,” Dee answers curtly. “Why do you care?”

Dennis snorts. “I don’t.” He’s silent for a moment, biting his lip. His eyes are still glued to his phone, which now displays a series of dick pics that he and Mac had sent to each other. He couldn’t care less if Dee saw any of those. “He is an asshole though. You know that, right?”

“ _Nooo_ …” Dee whips her head at him, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m blind as well as deaf, Dennis. I had _no_ idea!”

Dennis glances up in shock. All thoughts of Brian Jr. and Mandy are momentarily dropped. “Wait-what?!”

“I know he’s an asshole, you idiot.”

“… _What?!_ Then why the hell are you going out with him, Dee?” Dennis shakes his head as he looks at his sister with pity in his eyes. “Jesus christ, I knew your self-esteem was in the shitter, but I didn’t think you were _this_ desperate.”

“I’m not _desperate,_ Dennis.” Dee hisses as she slams a glass on the counter. “Look, I don’t actually like the guy. But it’s… it’s complicated, okay?”

“Complicated? Complicated how?” Dennis exclaims as he leans closer over the bar. “What are you up to? What’s the scheme here?”

“There’s no scheme!” Dee insists.

Dennis scoffs in disbelief. “There’s always a scheme,” he says in a low voice.

Dee groans loudly and gives an exasperated shake of her head. “It’s just… ever since Sean started coming around, Charlie… notices.” She manages to say reluctantly. “He actually seems to give a shit. And… well, it’s nice.”

Dennis blinks in surprise, suddenly recalling Mac’s suspicions about Dee and Charlie banging behind their backs. “You… you and Charlie?” He sputters weakly. Had he not been gripping the counter, he might have slipped right off his bar stool. “Wait, when did this happen? What exactly is going on with you two?!”

“No, no, no! Nothing happened!” Dee points a bird claw-like finger in Dennis’ face before he can get any further with his unfounded assumptions. “ _Nothing happened._ It’s just… we’re close, okay?”

“Since when?” Dennis demands.

“Since forever!” Dee screams. “Maybe if you bothered to care about anyone other than yourself, you would have noticed!”

Dennis ignores the jab. He’s still trying to wrap his head around Dee and _Charlie._ Now clearly _something_ is going on behind his back. And he is not okay with being kept in the dark. “Okay, so why are you even bothering with this asshole?” He asks, blinking in bewildered confusion. “If you and Charlie want to bang-”

“Are you kidding me?!” Dee ignores the way Dennis jumps at the volume of her voice. “Charlie has been obsessed with the goddamn waitress for _fifteen_ fucking years,” Dee says, her voice cool and steady despite the fire in her eyes. “Obsessed! I don’t know why, I’m way hotter than she is!”

“Well,” Dennis cringes. “Neither of you are real lookers…”

“GODDAMN IT!”

“Wait, do you actually _like_ Charlie?” Dennis asks quickly, before Dee can strangle him with her giant paws. “I mean, _like_ like him?”

“I don’t know,” Dee sighs heavily before running a hand through her hair, clearly reluctant to open up to her brother of all people. “It’s complicated,” she finally says. “I like having his attention. And I can’t seem to get it any other way!”

“Okay, but you realize you’re actually _manipulating_ him, right?” Dennis says with a frown. “Isn’t that a bit messed up? What exactly are your intentions here?”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Dee gasps, staring slack-jawed in shock. “You don’t get to act all high and mighty when you’ve been doing the same damn thing to Mac for _years_!”

Dennis chokes and sputters his way indignantly to a complete sentence. “What the hell are you talking about, Dee?”

“You’ve been D.E.N.N.I.S.ing Mac for years,” Dee says calmly. “And it’s worked out pretty well for you, right? You got any advice for me, _bro?_ ”

“Okay, first of all, no I haven’t.” Dennis replies firmly. “That’s completely ridiculous. I would never use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system on Mac. And second of all, you could never in a million years, hope to pull off an amazing feat such is the D.E.N.N.I.S. system. You simply do not possess the skill nor caliber to successfully utilize my _foolproof_ method of seduction! You simply cannot do it, Dee!”

“You’re a dick,” Dee growls.

“I’m a genius,” Dennis corrects her.

“No, you’re a dick who’s screwed over every single person you’ve ever been with in your life.”

“That’s not true!” Dennis exclaims defensively. Sure, the numbers are probably against him, but it can’t possibly be _every_ person. “Well, there was…” His voice trails off as Dee smirks triumphantly. “Wasn’t there a… well, I can’t exactly remember… her name was-”

“It absolutely is true,” Dee insists. “Every. Damn. Person. And the D.E.N.N.I.S. system proves it. You’re a goddamn sociopath.”

“Well, I think that’s a bit harsh,” Dennis shrugs it off casually. He’s never been anything but proud of his infallible method of seduction, and he’s not about to start changing now. But the idea that he might be using it on Mac, that’s just absurd.

“Unless you’re doing it subconsciously,” Dee raises a skeptical eyebrow at her brother.

Dennis blinks. He hadn’t realized he’d spoken that last bit out loud.

“Because you’re so fucked in the head, and your lunatic tendencies have become so deeply ingrained in you, that they’re starting to seep into every aspect of your life, to the point where you don’t even realize you’re doing it!”

Dennis frowns. In all fairness, Dee’s probably right. But he refuses to give her that satisfaction. “Whatever, bird.” He mutters under his breath.  

“Why do you do it?” Dee asks seriously, raising her hands in the air.

Dennis swallows and drops his gaze to the counter. He shrugs nonchalantly. “You’re being a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” He finally says.

Dee purses her lips and looks away. “Dennis, you complete and utter moron,” she mutters as she grabs a dirty towel and starts wiping away at nothing on the bar. “You’ve had Mac wrapped around your finger for years. That _idiot_ would probably rob a bank for you if you asked him to. Maybe you’re the one who needs to take a step back and start considering your damn actions.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dennis shouts at his sister. “And why do you even care?!”

“I don’t!” Dee vehemently shakes her head. “And I don’t care about Mac either!” She insists when Dennis throws her a skeptical look. “I’m worried about the sanctity of this group!”

Dennis makes a disbelieving noise. “Dee, you hate us.” He says bluntly. “We hate you.”

Dee scoffs, not eager to disagree with her brother for the first time ever _._ “Mark my words,” she says in a low voice. “You and Mac? Your boners for each other are going to end up screwing the rest of us over. I guarantee it.”

Dennis rolls his eyes as Dee continues to pretend to be occupied with tidying behind the bar.

One thing’s for sure, he’s not D.E.N.N.I.S.ing Mac. That’s ridiculous. He would never use his elegant and highly sophisticated system on his best friend. Sure he’s got certain rules and aspirations for whatever it is they have going on between them. Dennis isn’t exactly keen on labels. But if he were doing it subconsciously as Dee suggested… Well, now he’s got to think carefully about this.

 _Demonstrate Value._ He’s demonstrated two decades of exceptional value when it comes to Mac.

 _Engage Physically._ Done. Obviously. They’ve been banging non-stop for the past three weeks. No complaints from either side.

 _Nurture Dependence._ Considering their long, sordid history of co-dependence, not that either of them would admit it, Dennis doesn’t really think he should take the full fall for this one.

 _Neglect Emotionally._ This one’s a bit of a doozy. It’s kind of Dennis’ rule that emotions should never be involved. And even Mac can’t be an exception to that. But really, who needs emotions when the sex is great?

 _Inspire Hope._ Mac is simply more invested in their ‘relationship’ than he is. He always has been. Again, this really isn’t Dennis’ doing. He can’t be put at fault for Mac’s neediness and desperate desire to be loved. Mac had been this way long before Dennis ever came along. His parents really screwed him up in that department.  

 _Separate Entirely._ The last step. There’s simply no way that’s ever going to happen. They’ve been glued to the hip since high school. This is one lay Dennis has no plans to separate from.

He snorts to himself and concludes that Dee is full of bullshit.

Dennis is reaching over the bar for a beer when the front door swings open. He recognizes Mac and Charlie’s voices without even needing to turn his head.

“Lover boy’s back,” Dee leans over and sneers under her breath.

“Shut up,” Dennis hisses at her as the other two approach the bar.

“You don’t have to come with me, Charlie-” Mac is saying.

“I wasn’t planning on it!”

“I really appreciate the offer, but-”

“I _did not_ offer!”

Dennis turns his head in confusion as Dee finally puts down her dirty dish towel. “Hey, hey, what’s going on, guys?” She asks, looking between the two.

“I really think I should go see him again!” Mac continues to speak to Charlie, clearly oblivious to Dee’s confusion and the sinking feeling in the pit of Dennis’ stomach. “I’m sure he’ll talk to me this time. We’ll smooth things over and everything will be fine!”

“Mac, please don’t do this-” Charlie pleads, looking to Dennis and Dee for help.

“He’s my father! And I know he’s getting out soon, I want to do things right this time!”

“Are you kidding me?” Dee groans. “Not this again.”

“Thank you!” Charlie waves a hand in Dee’s direction. “I don’t want to have to worry about this guy coming after us again, coming to eat our butts, or strangling us in the middle of the night! Do you not remember what happened the last time we saw him together? We sold out his partner and almost got him killed!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dennis interrupts. “You went to see your father? In prison?” That sinking feeling is slowly morphing into outrage, which boils under his skin as Mac continues to ramble animatedly about how his father _loves him_ and their relationship will _finally_ blossom after years of missteps and misunderstandings. It’s a struggle to keep calm on the surface. But despite his indignation, his ego doesn’t let him break.

“I really think he’ll want to see me this time.” Mac sighs heavily as he looks around the faces of the gang. “The last few trips haven’t exactly gone according to plan, but-”

“The guy never wants to see you, Mac.” Charlie says bluntly. “He’s made that pretty damn clear over the years!”

“Well, that’s probably because he’s busy, or something.” Mac says, throwing his arms up dramatically. “Prison life is hard! In case you didn’t know! And I used to write to him all the time, just so he’d know someone was waiting for him on the other side!” Mac pauses as Dennis awkwardly drops his gaze. “And he did write back! He actually wrote back to me!”

“Oh, except Dennis destroyed all those letters, didn’t he?” Dee chimes in.

Dennis grits his teeth and sends Dee the coldest death glare he can manage. _That bitch!_

“Well, yes-yes, he did,” Mac stutters. “And I was very upset with him. But I’ve made efforts to correct that with my dad. And it’s fine now!”

“Oh really?” Dee asks, her voice full of feigned curiosity as Dennis curses a god he doesn’t believe in to send a plague of locusts would wipe his sister from the face of the earth. “So, you’re okay with the fact that Dennis sabotaged the one chance you had to make up with your father?”

“Well, he didn’t-”

“He did,” Dee interrupts. “That’s exactly what he did.”

“You don’t just get _one_ chance in life,” Mac rolls his eyes dramatically. “That’s not how it works!”

“Oh yes, please remind me,” Dee says sarcastically. “How many times now have you messed up your relationship with your Dad?”

“I think we’re getting off topic!” Mac says loudly, throwing his arms up.

Dee and Charlie make identical faces of disbelief as Dennis continues to wish his barstool would swallow him whole.

Thankfully, they’re all simultaneously interrupted by the timid voice of a young woman who had approached the group during their loud discussion.

“Excuse me?” She calls out.

Three of them stare at her where she’s partially hidden behind Mac’s body. The other man seems completely oblivious to the new presence.

_“Excuse me, sir?”_

The woman looks to be in her early twenties, and she’s clearly here with the group of young ladies sitting in the corner booth, some of the only patrons currently in the bar. Dennis raises an eyebrow. He can’t remember the last time they had a group of college-aged and _decent_ looking women in the bar.

_“Excuse me?”_

Dennis discretely catches Dee’s gaze out the corner of his eye.

_“Sir?”_

“Oh my god,” Mac drawls, finally turning around to the source of the distressed voice. “What is it?!”

“Um, I’m sorry,” she says quickly. “But those men over there won’t stop bothering us?” She points to the two guys, who look like they just stepped out of an Abercrombie catalogue, currently accosting the rest of her group.

“Yeah?” Mac makes a face. “So?!”

“So… can you do something about it?”

Mac puts his hands on his hips and stares down at her. “How is that my problem, lady?”

“They won’t leave us alone! And my friends and I are really getting freaked out!”

“Jesus Christ!” Mac rolls his eyes. “A bunch of women come into a shady bar in an alley in one of the worst parts of South Philly. And now you’re whining about a bunch of dudes giving you unwanted attention!” He scoffs and shakes his head. “What did you expect? Women can’t do anything!”

“Mac!” Dee shouts in anger. “Are you kidding me? Have you forgotten you’re the damn bouncer?”

Mac looks at her in surprise, then he glances at Dennis who only raises an eyebrow, and Charlie who simply nods his head. “Sheriff of Paddy’s, right?” Charlie asks, looking around the group with a small laugh. “Our head of security?”

“Oh Christ,” Mac relents, clearly exasperated. “Fine! Step back lady, I’ll take care of business, okay?”

Dennis and the others stare with wide eyes as Mac struts over to the guys who are eagerly trying to convince the women to let them join their booth.

“Hey, asshole! The lady’s not interested!” Mac squares his shoulders and gives his most intimidating glare as the other guys size him up. “What’s the matter, can’t take no for an answer?”

“Oh shit,” Dee mutters under her breath. “Mac’s about to get his ass kicked.”

“Should we help him?” Charlie asks, actually sounding a bit worried.

Dennis considers it, torn between mild concern for Mac’s safety and the need to maintain the _status quo_ that Mac has to learn and accept that he’s not a damn badass the hard way. Add on top of that the hilarity of Mac getting his ass kicked and then getting to tenderly take care of him afterward… well, Dennis simply shrugs his shoulders. “Nah,” he replies casually and sits back to watch the show.

One of the guys wears an arrogant expression, staring at Mac with his chest puffed out, clearly wanting to prove himself in a fight. His friend behind him doesn’t look so sure.

Physically they look like they might be evenly matched. The guy has maybe an inch of height on Mac. But Mac’s wider in the shoulders.

“You’re out of here, bozo! Your little buddy too!” Mac grabs the guy by the arm when he’s not backing down, ready to drag him to the door. Dennis narrows his eyes when the guy tries to throw Mac off of him, but Mac doesn’t budge. The guy throws a punch-Dennis audibly gasps when Mac dodges it by an inch. He twists the dude around until he has him in something mildly resembling a choke hold, and physically drags him, despite an impressive struggle, to the front of the bar, and tosses him out the door.

“Holy shit,” Charlie says softly.

“Do I need to toss you out on your ass too?” Mac demands intimidatingly at the other guy that’s left staring in shock. Thankfully, this one knows how to take a hint and quickly scurries out to pick his friend up off the pavement.

“God _damnit_ ,” Dee curses under her breath. “Unbelievable. Literally fucking unbelievable.”

“Don’t let me see your asses back in here!” Mac shouts after them as he flexes his muscles. He turns and smirks at the group of shocked women. “Ladies,” he gives them a nod of his head as he walks past.

“Don’t worry guys,” Mac boasts as he swaggers over to the bar. “Big Mac took care of business.”

Charlie is grinning at him, clearly impressed, while Dee rolls her eyes in annoyance. She had gotten over the shock quicker than the rest of them.

Dennis, on the other hand, he’s dealing with something he hadn’t exactly encountered before.

Dennis can’t stop staring at Mac, like he’s seeing him in a whole new light. He’s somehow shocked, impressed, turned on, and freaking out all at once. Mac’s grin is too wide. The way he’s taken his small victory to his head is clear in his arrogant stance, and while Dennis would usually find this behavior obnoxious and infuriating in his best friend, he now finds it captivating, and he can’t tear his eyes away from it. He might even be salivating a bit.

“Dude,” Charlie says seriously. “That was actually badass.”

“Of course it was-” Mac pauses. “What do you mean _actually?!”_

“We’re never gonna hear the end of this,” Dee mutters and shakes her head as she walks away to the office.

Dennis swallows the lump in his throat. He can’t stop staring at Mac’s arms, the way his muscles bulge within the sleeves of his tee… and suddenly his pants quickly become uncomfortably tight. He knows Mac had been spending a lot of time at the gym lately, but this is the first time he’s really being smacked in the face with it.

There’s a churning in his gut as the thickening haze in his head drowns out the sounds of Mac and Charlie’s chatter about Mac’s victory over the Abercrombie douchebags. Dennis can’t focus on words when he wants nothing more than to revel in the warmth of Mac’s smile and melt into the strong, powerful embrace of his body.

Because from the looks of it, Mac could really throw him around. He could pick him up, toss him onto any adequately fuckable surface, and have his way with him.

And god Dennis wants it so badly he’s _aching_ for it.

He didn’t even know he wanted it. But he wants Mac to take him in his arms, pin him down under strong hands, and do things to him that Dennis had never let him do before. Dirty, unspeakable, and terrifying things.

“Dennis?” Mac looks at him in concern. “You okay?”

Dennis breathes heavily. Nausea rolls in his stomach and he feels like he’s going to puke.  

“Dude, what’s up with you?” Charlie looks at him weirdly.

Dennis ignores them both. He’s having a goddamn panic attack and the boner in his pants is not helping. “I gotta go,” he mutters under his breath, as he pushes himself off his barstool onto shaky, unsteady legs.

“What?” Mac looks like he wants to reach out for him, but Dennis steps out of his reach. “Where are you going?”

“I-I gotta go,” Dennis stammers again. “I just-I gotta take care of something.” His goddamn boner and the panic in this chest.

He rushes out of Paddy’s as fast as he can, still shaking with anxiety and feeling winded until he manages to draw a deep breath of fresh air. His whole body trembles as he wanders mindlessly in any direction that’s _away_ from Mac.

Dennis eventually makes his way back to the apartment, and he’s mostly calmed down. But it’s the ice cold shower that really helps take the edge off. His mind can’t stop thinking about it. And he remains under the icy cold blast until he manages to _stop_ thinking about it.

And when Mac finally comes home a few hours later, he finds Dennis sitting on the couch, legs drawn up against himself, wrapped in the thickest robe he owns, staring blankly at nothing on the TV screen.

Mac eyes the empty bottles on the coffee table as he slowly approaches. “You want another beer?” He asks lightly. He heads to the kitchen anyway even when he doesn’t get a response.

Dennis glances up only when the other man returns to the couch, two bottles in hand.

Mac slowly sits down next to him, leaving a few inches of space between them. “You wanna watch Predator?” He asks gently, passing him one of the bottles.

Dennis takes it. And after a moment, he nods silently, and Mac puts the movie on, keeping the volume low.

Dennis has never been more aware of the other man’s presence next to him. Mac’s body radiates heat like a damn furnace. How had Dennis not noticed that before? The smell of his cheap cologne is so strong it relentlessly infiltrates his nostrils. And it’s all so… achingly familiar.

After a while, Dennis shifts in his seat, pretending to adjust the way his robe hangs over his legs. But a moment later when he stills, his arm is now touching Mac’s from elbow to shoulder, and their thighs are pressed together too.

Mac doesn’t mention it. Dennis is thankful the other man knows him well enough not to ask.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis wants to take their sex life to a new level. Mac has something he desperately wants to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mild dubious consent.

Dennis’ day is about to get infinitely better. Definitely in the short run, if he’s got anything to say about it.

_“Dennis, I really need to tell you something…”_

“I don’t wanna hear about it.”

“But Dennis, it’s really important-”

“I’m not interested, baby.” Dennis coos softly.

“I really gotta…” Mac’s voice trails off in confusion when his eyes land on his forearm, which Dennis had pulled up to the wooden headboard, and is currently in the process of wrapping a silk scarf tightly around Mac’s wrist. He then proceeds to pull it taut around the wooden post of the bed frame and secures it tightly in an elegant knot. “What are you doing?” Mac’s voice is damn near comically high pitched.

Dennis raises an eyebrow as he gives Mac a casual smirk. He shuffles his thighs where he sits on top of Mac’s lap in nothing but his boxer briefs, and lets his full weight rest on the other man’s hips as he leans forward slightly. He doesn’t miss the way Mac’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows in anticipation. Or nerves. It might even be both.

“I’m tying you up,” Dennis says with the same intonation as if he were saying he’s grabbing a damn newspaper.

“Uh… oh–kay… well, I-I kinda have this thing…” Mac stutters as his other wrist is being bound up like the first. “Um… I don’t know if…”

“Later, okay?” Dennis murmurs gently. “You can tell me about your day later.” He leans down and presses his lips against Mac’s Adam’s apple. He feels the coolness of the other man’s flesh and drags his tongue slowly to the side of his neck. Mac shudders beneath him as he makes his way up to his ear, kissing and sucking gently on his skin.

“Yeah, okay.” Mac says breathily. He shifts against him suddenly and then tenses when there’s nowhere for his arms to go. Dennis grins, knowing Mac is swallowing the realization that he’s completely and utterly at Dennis’ mercy.  

“We’re gonna have some fun,” Dennis says in a low voice as he climbs off Mac’s lap and crawls down the other man’s body. He smirks as his eyes glance down to Mac’s dark boxer briefs, which are already starting to tent. He hooks his fingers underneath the waistband and Mac eagerly lifts his hips, allowing Dennis to easily slip them off.

Dennis grabs Mac under his knees and gives him a quick yank towards him. The other man yelps as he’s pulled onto his back, the binds pulling tightly around his wrists.

“Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun,” Dennis murmurs again as he glances down at the nude man beneath him. He bites his lip in anticipation, reveling in how completely helpless Mac is in their current predicament. 

“What uh… what did you have in mind?” Mac asks, his curiosity getting the best of him despite the way his eyes shift nervously.

“Well, for starters…” Dennis plants a soft kiss on Mac’s lips before reaching over the side of the bed for the small bag of goodies he’d procured specially for tonight. Mac strains his neck, trying and failing to see over the side of the bed. His eyes widen when Dennis leans back up, brandishing a familiar object in his face.

“Whoa, that’s-that’s my cat o’ nine tails,” Mac stammers, tensing against the bed as he stares at the leather whip Dennis holds in his hands. “Wh-what the hell are you doing with that? Where did you-”

“Have you been a bad boy?” Dennis whispers, enjoying the other man’s sudden distress. Why Mac thought Dennis wouldn’t know exactly where he kept his punishment whip is beyond him. He’s not really sure if Mac is into the whole ‘self punishment to get closer to god’ thing, but why else would the religious fanatic keep a cat o’ nine tails lying around? Dennis can think of much kinkier uses for it that would be infinitely more exciting.

“Well, have you?” Dennis asks again. He lifts an eyebrow and smirks at Mac with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

“Well…” Mac blinks and swallows the lump in his throat. “Well, y–yeah. But-”

Dennis cuts him off with a rough kiss. The hand not gripping cold leather comes up to harshly tug on a handful of dark hair. Mac lets out a soft whimper against him, his back arching off the bed, desperately eager for more. Dennis slowly ends the kiss, but not before taking Mac’s bottom lip between his teeth and biting down just hard enough to sting.

“Your god thinks that was a sin, right?” Dennis growls in a low voice.

Mac can only answer with a few quick, shallow breaths. He closes his eyes, dropping his head against the pillow behind him. “I…” Mac’s voice trails off, clearly torn between wanting to fulfill Dennis’ little sexual fantasy and a strong aversion to involving his faith and shame into their intimate life.

“Isn’t this how you get closer to god?” Dennis’ voice takes on a steely tone as he gives the object a shake in his hand.

“Dennis…” There’s a weak little whimper in Mac’s voice that’s _almost_ enough to make him feel bad. The softness on Mac’s face when their eyes meet lets him know the answer, even before Mac gently shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m ready for that,” he finally says.

Dennis exhales evenly through his nose. “That’s okay,” he says smoothly, even though on the inside he’s screaming that it’s not. He fights every instinct not to show any outward emotion. He’s furious. Even now, Mac still chooses his god over him. And it’s not that Dennis doesn’t know how much Mac cares for him-he does. But the insecure, selfish, egotistic force that drives him demands to have every aspect of Mac worship _him_ instead.

The cat o’ nine tails falls to the ground with a thump.

“Dennis,” Mac tries to sit up and grimaces when the silk scarves tug at his wrists and he falls back down onto the pillows. Dennis is still sitting heavily on his thighs and the man doesn’t budge an inch. “Come on, untie me for a sec, I wanna…” He pauses when Dennis slowly shakes his head, his expression eerily blank. “Dennis, come on, I-I wanna touch you, just let me up-”

“No,” Dennis says simply, in the face of Mac’s confusion. He traces the fullness of Mac’s bottom lip with his thumb, before slowly running his hand down Mac’s bare chest, feeling the firm muscles of his body under his palm. His gears are turning as he stares at Mac’s body splayed out before him. He’s almost angry at how good the man looks at nearly forty. Mac really has taken good care of himself in recent years.

“You’re mine. You know that?”

Mac’s eyes widen slightly. The grave solemnity of the other man’s voice sends shivers down his spine. His arms ache from being held in their position, and as he stares up at the other man, Mac is suddenly very aware of how exposed he is in their current situation.

“You belong to me,” Dennis continues softly, speaking to Mac like a daft child. “You always have.”

Dennis leans over the bed again, and Mac is choking back a protest when Dennis reemerges with another silk scarf. He also drops a (hopefully new) sex toy and the ever essential bottle of lube next to him on the bed. Mac stares at them in wide eyed shock.

“Now, I don’t want you to think of this as a punishment,” Dennis says carefully, as he lifts the scarf up to Mac’s face. “I want you to think of it more as… an enlightening _experience_.”

 _“What-mmph!”_ Mac makes the mistake of speaking as it allows Dennis to slide the gag between his teeth with ease. Any protest he might’ve had is muffled as Dennis binds the scarf securely behind his neck.

“The rules this time are very simple,” Dennis says gently, as he runs his fingers down Mac’s chest. He feels powerful. Mac can’t say no to him now. And what Dennis wants… he gets. _This_ is what he craves. This may well be the best fuck of his life. “You just lay back… and enjoy the ride.”

Mac stares at him helplessly.

“Relax, baby.” Dennis smirks as he sneers down at the immobile man, completely at his mercy. “You want me to touch you?” He leans down and runs his tongue over Mac’s earlobe, just above the silk that digs into his cheeks. He gives it a gentle tug with his teeth before pulling away. “You want me to fuck you, baby?”

Mac rolls his eyes, before exhaling something that sounds like an exasperated moan through the silk that’s stuffed between his teeth. The nod that he gives has Dennis glowing with anticipation.

Dennis exhales a silent chuckle as he climbs to his knees. Mac’s eyes follow him as he crawls down his body. He presses his lips to Mac’s chest, circles his tongue over a nipple, and then proceeds to trail wet kisses down his abdomen. He grins against Mac’s skin as the other man shivers beneath him. He wants Mac to know what it’s like to have every nerve on fire.

“You know what the best part about this is?” Dennis glances up, knowing Mac can’t fucking answer him. But his warm breath brushes against Mac’s hardening cock, and something akin to a moan escapes into the air. “The best part,” Dennis continues with a grin. “Is that you can’t touch me.”

A muffled curse sounds from the head of the bed.

Dennis chuckles and drops his gaze to Mac’s genitals. His eyes go cold as he maps out every course of action he plans to take on Mac’s body. He’s taking his time when a large thigh smacks him in the side of the head and he hears a sound of impatience coming from above him. Dennis blinks at the sheer audacity of the man who is completely tied up and helpless, and he gives the thigh in question a rough nip with his teeth.

“You do that again and I’m gonna make sure you won’t be able sit down for a week,” Dennis growls. He wouldn’t even feel bad about it.

Mac is fully hard now. But Dennis vindictively ignores it and gives Mac’s testicles a firm squeeze, only releasing him when Mac starts squirming against the pressure. He grabs the other man under the knees and pulls his legs up, nearly bending him in half. Dennis pauses only long enough to let his eyes flicker up to Mac’s. The other man stares back, silently begging to be touched.

“Feel free to be as loud as you want. No one can hear you scream but me.”

Dennis drops his head and runs his tongue up the length of Mac’s cock, from base to tip. He runs a few more slow stripes over the underside of his cock as he gently teases Mac’s hole with his finger. Just a few circles around the rim without pushing in. He dips his head a bit lower and starts tonguing at Mac’s balls. And when Dennis runs his tongue over the sensitive area just beneath them, he’s rewarded with the beautiful sounds of a strangled, choked moan as Mac practically jumps from the bed.

Mac goes completely taut beneath him, but just for a second, and then he breaks down into heavy shudders and muffled groans as Dennis continues to lick his way down to his asshole. He traces his tongue over the tight ring of muscle, licking slow, wet circles around his hole until Mac is incoherently begging him for more.

Dennis pulls away, admiring the way Mac’s hole looks, wet with his saliva. He wets his forefinger with his spit and presses it against the rim. He slowly pushes it in as he presses a wet kiss to Mac’s perineum, earning a loud mewling sound from the bound man.

“I bet you love it when I lick you open,” Dennis murmurs, his warm breath brushing against Mac’s cock. “Don’t you? You want more, baby?” Mac trembles against the sheets. And the only response Dennis gets is a soft, high-pitched whine. And maybe Mac says something that sounds vaguely like a muffled _‘please’._

Dennis grins and slowly pulls his finger out, replacing it with his lips and his tongue. He presses his tongue forward, past the ring of muscle, thrusting it in and out, loosening him with nothing but his tongue, and fucking him with it until Mac’s hole is a sloppy, wet mess. He relishes every sound that Mac makes above him-every single choked, muffled, _aching_ moan. He fucks him with his tongue until Mac is nothing more than a trembling mess against their sheets.

Mac whimpers when Dennis finally pulls away. His chest heaves, eyes closed, with his head thrown back in an image of pure, blissful agony.

Dennis grabs the bottle of lube and slathers it over his fingers before pressing them into the other man. It doesn’t take much for Mac to open up around him. Two fingers slip in easily, and Dennis bites his lip thinking how good it’s going to feel around his cock.

Mac mewls pitifully as Dennis slowly fucks him with his fingers. He scissors his digits, carefully stretching him out. Deciding Mac’s noises don’t satisfy him, Dennis gives Mac’s cock a slow stroke and a rough squeeze before slapping him hard on the ass. Mac yelps and his eyes fly open. He tries to say something that can’t be made out through the gag between his teeth.

“What was that, baby?” Dennis teases. “I can’t understand you.”

Dennis grins when Mac’s soft whimpers reach his ears. The other man pleads him with muffled moans and dark eyes. Dennis simply smirks as he slowly withdraws his fingers. Mac has no idea, but Dennis has only barely gotten started.

Dennis reaches for the vibrator he’d placed by his side. He runs his wet fingers over the smooth silicone. “I’m gonna fuck you with this,” he murmurs softly, lifting it up so Mac can see. “I’m gonna fuck you with it, and I’m not gonna let you cum. I’m gonna edge you until you’re screaming and crying and begging for release. And then maybe… if you’re a good boy… maybe I’ll give you my cock. How’s that sound, baby?”

Mac whimpers pathetically, sounding so desperate and needy it goes straight to Dennis’ cock. Mac’s legs twitch in a weak attempt to pull the other man closer.

Dennis slathers the toy with lube before pressing it against Mac’s entrance. Mac lets out a strangled gasp as he opens up around it. It’s not as big as Dennis’ cock. But it is an anal vibrator. And when it’s fit snugly inside him, the curve presses right up against his prostate.

“You okay, baby?” Dennis murmurs as he admires the way Mac’s hole looks stretched nice and tight around the vibrator. Mac pants heavily, his chest heaving up and down, as his eyes squeeze shut. Dennis bites his lip as he watches him, savoring every moment. And when the vibrator comes to life, Mac lets out a strained shout as the toy thrums inside his ass. He jerks and shakes, limbs pulling so tightly against their bonds it looks like it _must_ hurt.

Dennis watches him with hooded eyes. He presses the toy deeper into Mac’s ass until the other man’s eyes roll back into his head and he screams, throwing his head back into the pillow. The vibrator against his prostate is almost painful. And there’s nothing Mac can do about it except spew muffled, incoherent curses as he’s reduced to a trembling mess of overstimulation.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, baby.” Dennis murmurs to soothe his lover. He leans over the other man and presses a tender kiss to his jaw. It doesn’t do much to calm him as Mac continues to shake and jerk, arching off the bed and thrusting his hips upwards in a desperate attempt to remind Dennis that his cock is achingly hard and untouched.

Dennis growls deep in his throat as he takes in the sight before him. His own cock is throbbing between his legs and he quickly slips off his boxer briefs, groaning softly when his dick finds freedom from the tight confines of his underwear. He rests his palms on Mac’s shoulders, and slowly, painfully rakes his manicured fingernails down the other man’s torso, leaving behind deep, red marks on his flesh. Afterward, they’ll be a stark reminder of who Mac belongs to.

Dennis dips his head and runs his tongue over the length of Mac’s cock. He gives an extra swipe of his tongue over the underside before running it slowly under the ridge and over the head. _Finally,_ he takes Mac into his mouth. Mac moans heatedly above him as Dennis bobs his head around the other man’s cock, taking him as deep into his throat as he can. He can vaguely feel the vibrations through his mouth from the toy in Mac’s ass. No wonder Mac is practically falling apart before his very eyes.

Mac is close. Dennis can feel it. He lets Mac’s cock fall from his lips and gives the other man a hard squeeze at the base of his cock. “Not so soon, baby.” Mac lets out a sound of protest, and Dennis responds by giving his balls a gentle tug, ensuring that he doesn’t cum before he’s allowed. “Can’t have you ruining the fun now, can we?”

Mac’s teeth are bared where they painfully dig into the gag. He half groans, half screams unintelligible obscenities as he squirms against the mattress.

“What was that, baby?” Dennis asks coyly. “I can’t understand you.”

A harsh but muffled _“fuck you”_ reverberates through the room.

Dennis climbs to his hands and knees and slowly crawls up to the other man. Something dark flashes across his eyes as he stares down at the helpless, shuddering man beneath him.

Sensing his presence, Mac’s eyes flicker open. He pleads him with his eyes and his strangled gasps, shaking his head desperately as his trembling legs wrap themselves tight around Dennis’ hips.

“What do you want, baby?” Dennis’ tone is steely and mocking as Mac makes another helpless noise, his head falling back and the muscles of his arms bulging obscenely as they continue tugging uselessly at the restraints.

Dennis grins softly as he watches him. He wonders just how much it would take for Mac to break… to give in to him completely, as he’s never done before. He lays a soft touch to Mac’s cheek to bring him back. He gently strokes his face and runs his fingers through Mac’s dark hair, damp with sweat as the other man continues to gasp and writhe beneath him.

His whole life, Mac has loved god. Loved him because he was taught that if he was a good boy, god would never abandon him the way his father did. Mac loves god. Dennis is the golden god. A sinful god who partakes in pleasures of the flesh. Dennis knows he’s not holy enough. He’s going to drag Mac down to hell with him and he won’t feel guilty about it. He never does. There’s a dark side of him that craves it. He wants to break him, to make Mac hurt and suffer and cry just so he can taste the tears on his tongue. Until no god will ever want him but _Dennis._

Mac leans into his touch like he always has. He’s craved intimacy his whole life and Dennis knows how to play him like a fiddle.

Dennis clenches his hand around the back of Mac’s neck, applying more pressure than necessary. But it certainly catches Mac’s attention. Dennis carefully unties the knot at the back of Mac’s head and pulls away the scarf. He rubs his thumb harshly over the marks left behind on Mac’s cheeks, red and painful like a Glasgow smile.  

“Dennis!” Mac gasps hoarsely. “Dennis please, I-I can’t-”

“Hm?”

“Please,” Mac begs desperately. “You have to let me cum, I can’t take it! I need to-”

Dennis cuts him off with a kiss. He’s got one hand tenderly cupping Mac’s cheek, while the other lifts Mac’s leg up higher so he can grind his hip against his ass. The motion pushes the vibrator against his prostate again and the other man whines deep into his mouth.

 _“Fuck you, you bastard-”_ Mac cries, soft and high-pitched. If Dennis doesn’t stop soon, he’s going to cum and Dennis will have no one to blame for that but himself.  

“Beg me,” Dennis whispers.

Mac’s eyes fly open.

“Beg me,” Dennis says again. “Beg me to let you cum.”

_“Dennis please! Please, please, please… I can’t take it anymore! I need to cum-Dennis-”_

Dennis bites his lip as he glances over the man beneath him. He deems maybe Mac’s had enough. He reaches down and turns off the toy, pulling it out in one slow motion, leaving Mac gasping and shuddering, overstimulated and oversensitive.

Dennis takes the other man’s swollen cock in his hand and strokes it achingly slow as Mac catches his breath. He presses their lips together, and Mac leans up for more, slipping his tongue past Dennis’ teeth, so desperate to taste him and feel him.

“You’re mine,” Dennis whispers against his lips. “You know that, right?”

Mac’s eyes open to meet his own. Dennis has always been able to read him like an open book, and now is no exception. There’s some hesitancy, maybe even a hint of fear. But the overwhelming trust, sincerity, and something else Dennis doesn’t dare think about-it’s all real.

“Say it,” Dennis murmurs, as he reaches for the bottle of lube he’d earlier discarded. “I want to hear you say it.” He generously slathers it over his cock and lines himself up with Mac’s entrance, pulling the other man’s leg up to get a better angle. “Tell me you’re mine,” he whispers as he slowly sinks into Mac’s body.

Mac’s eyes roll back into his head and he exhales a stuttering sound when he’s finally filled. He lets out a soft cry and presses his head against Dennis’ where the other man has it buried in his neck. “I’m yours,” he finally whispers. “I’m yours, Dennis. Please- _fuck-”_

Dennis groans as he adjusts to the tightness of Mac’s body around him. He attaches his mouth to the sensitive spot where Mac’s neck meets his shoulder and sinks his teeth in. Mac gasps and groans, thrusting up against him as he begs for more.

_“Den, please-”_

Dennis growls and finally starts thrusting his hips. He doesn’t stop sucking on Mac’s flesh with his teeth. This is Dennis marking him, claiming him. He craves this-wants Mac to beg for more, and keep begging, until he’s not capable of anything beyond weak, noiseless gasps as Dennis fucks him into oblivion.

“I’m gonna cum,” Mac whimpers, biting his lip.

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” Dennis whispers into his ear.

“Dennis!”

Dennis clenches a hand roughly around Mac’s hair as he presses kisses along his jaw. He groans hoarsely with every thrust. He rolls his hips, his face twisted up in pleasure as he finds that perfect angle that has Mac gasping and crying out in bliss.  

“You know I’d give you the world if I could,” Dennis offers mindlessly, because it’s the closest he can get to saying _those_ words without actually saying them. “God, you feel so good… what are you doing to me?”

_“Dennis-”_

Mac arches up as far as his binds will let him go. His legs are tight around Dennis’ hips, pulling him closer. “I’m gonna cum, Dennis, please-don’t stop-” And then Dennis takes his cock in his hand. He strokes him to the rhythm of his thrusts as his lips find Mac’s and they tremble and shake together. A few strokes is enough to bring Mac over the edge, and he exhales a slew of choked gasps into Dennis’ mouth as he spills his climax between them.

Mac continues to spasm beneath him. Dennis feels a warm streak of cum hitting his stomach. He gives a few more shallow thrusts, and his own wave of orgasm washes over him. He climaxes harder than he can remember doing in a long time. He cries as he rides it out, whispering Mac’s name. And when it’s finally over, he buries his face in Mac’s neck as he collapses on top of him, their limbs entangled in a sweaty heap.

“Oh my god,” Mac gasps breathlessly.

Dennis whimpers softly as Mac’s chest heaves up and down against his own. He turns his head and gently kisses Mac’s cheek. He smiles gently against the other man’s stubble. Minutes pass and slowly their breaths even as they come down from their high. Dennis silently watches Mac in his afterglow. He looks goddamn luminous. Red marks speckle his neck, and Dennis knows if he were to sit up he’d find long lines running down Mac’s chest, and marks on his hips that he hopes will turn to bruises.

Mac sighs softly when Dennis presses their lips together. He leans up into it like he wants to drown himself in Dennis’ mouth. “That was so good,” Dennis mumbles against his lips. He pulls away and Mac’s head falls back onto the soft pillows.

Dennis dips his head as he carefully pulls out, and Mac whimpers at the loss of contact. When Dennis looks at him again, he finds Mac staring blankly at the ceiling.

“You okay?” Dennis murmurs.

Mac blinks and keeps staring ahead. Dennis watches his face carefully. He can’t tell what the other man is thinking, and something about that terrifies him.

“Can you untie me?” Mac whispers hoarsely. “My arms are killing me…”

Dennis mumbles some vaguely affirmative response and fights the dizziness in his head as he sits up on shaky limbs. He struggles to undo the knots around Mac’s wrists-they’d gotten pulled tighter during the course of their fucking-but he pulls them out eventually. His eyes trace over the red marks encircling Mac’s wrists when they’re finally released, no doubt caused by the way Mac had vigorously yanked on his restraints. Dennis gently runs his thumb over the marks before sitting back and letting Mac bring his arms to his sides.

Mac groans softly as he rubs at his sore muscles. He’s eerily silent otherwise and Dennis doesn’t like it. He’s too quiet. Mac who isn’t endlessly chattering is Mac with something wrong.

Mac winces when he sits up, and after a moment he wordlessly shuffles off the bed to his feet. He reaches for a discarded t-shirt to wipe away the mess on his stomach. His demeanor is too serious, and damn it Dennis can sense that something is wrong. The other man won’t make eye contact.

Dennis swallows nervously as he cleans off his own mess with a shirt. He’s starting to worry that maybe he took it too far. His arms twitch at his sides as he fights the urge to reach out for Mac. But the other man seems preoccupied with finding his clothes on their messy floor. “What’s wrong?” Dennis asks softly as Mac curses under his breath. “Mac?”

“Shit,” Mac mutters as he pulls his boxer briefs on. “I… I don’t know, man. Shit just got too real.”

Dennis fidgets from his spot on the bed. “Was that… was that too much?”

“What?” Mac glances up in surprise. “No! No, that-that was great,” Mac says quickly. “I just… um, Dennis, I-I gotta tell you something. And… just please, don’t freak out on me, okay?”

“You’re kind of already freaking me out, dude.”

Mac runs a hand through his messy hair, like he always does when he’s nervous or anxious. “I saw my dad today,” he eventually says. “I saw him at the prison.”

“Okay.” Dennis sits up slightly, preparing for the worst. He had pretty much seen this coming a mile away. Mac had been gone all day and came back acting weird, right up until Dennis jumped him and started taking their clothes off. “And?”

“Well, we actually had a really good talk! Um, he seemed happy to see me, and… I think he really wants to work on our relationship, which as you know, I’ve been trying for years to get closer to the guy,” Mac waves his hands animatedly as he rambles. “I think… I think this time we might actually get things right, you know? And, well… I asked him what his plans are when he gets out, which… is happening in two days. And um… he told me he’s heading to Mexico.”

An uneasy feeling runs down Dennis’ spine and his chest tightens painfully. “Mexico,” Dennis echoes.

“Yeah, he… has a job lined up,” Mac says softly. “And he… he asked me to go with him.”

Dennis feels his blood run cold. “And what did you say?” He asks, his voice steely and dangerous.

Mac bites his lip. “I… I said I would think about it.”

Dennis chokes out a laugh, his eyebrows practically shooting up to his hairline. “Are you kidding me? You… you can’t actually be considering this!”

Mac scrunches up his face as he shrugs. “I am,” he says reluctantly.

“Mexico,” Dennis says softly. He can’t believe what he’s hearing, but he quickly puts two and two together. “For how long? You goddamn idiot! Your father’s new ‘job’ is probably trafficking heroin from Mexico. Or meth! He was big into dealing meth, right? That's why he got sent to prison in the first place when you were a kid? And he probably wants you to help him! Or take the fall for it! This has to be a scam of some sort! Why the hell would you want to involve yourself in this?”

“No! No.” Mac shakes his head firmly. “That’s not what this is. He… he wants to spend time with me, this is real-”

“You’re not going, Mac!”

“You can’t tell me what to do!”

“I think I just did. You’re not fucking going!” Dennis screams. “You wanna end up in prison like your dad?!”

Mac groans, making a frustrated sound in his throat as he yanks on his hair, like Dennis is the one being unreasonable here. “I don’t know! I… he asked me to go with him! He _wants_ me to go with him! I-I gotta think about this, Dennis-”

“There’s nothing to fucking think about!” Dennis growls. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation! He’s asking you to traffic _heroin!”_

“You don’t know that,” Mac mutters stubbornly.

“Yes, I do!” Dennis shouts. “Because the only time he interacts with you is when he wants something! And you fall to his feet like a pathetic dog every, single time!”

“Dennis!”

“It’s true! Are you that fucking blind?”

Mac looks away. The expression on his face would be a sledgehammer to Dennis’ chest if he weren’t already feeling like he’s having a panic attack. Tears prick at his eyes and it only makes him angrier, because he feels like a weak, pathetic bastard and it’s _Mac_ who’s making him feel this way. Mac isn’t fucking allowed to leave him.

“He’s using you,” Dennis spits through gritted teeth. “How can you not see that?”

“No. No, he-my dad loves me, okay?” Mac refuses to look him in the eye. Maybe that’s the only way he can believe the words coming out of his mouth. “This is my chance to make things right with him! For the first time ever! Don’t you get that?”

“That bastard never fucking loved you, Mac.” Dennis growls.

“That’s not true,” Mac says softly.

“Let me make this perfectly clear to you,” Dennis’ voice is shockingly steady considering the sheer velocity of his emotions. “The only reason he’s asking you to go is to involve you in drug trafficking. This isn’t smuggling heroin into prison in your ass, alright? This is serious. And you’re not fucking doing this, Mac.”

“Maybe he just wants to take me sailing,” Mac says weakly.

Dennis scoffs and shakes his head sadly. “You’re fucking pathetic,” he whispers.

Anger and defiance flash across Mac’s face as he stubbornly holds his ground. “You can’t tell me what to do,” he mutters.

“This is bullshit!” Dennis hisses. “You’re. Not. Going.”

“No, just-just stop!” Mac says firmly, holding his hands up. “Give me a fucking break, okay? This is… this is you being controlling again.”

“What?!” Dennis screams. “This is me stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your life!”

“No, this is you being a controlling dick!”

“Mac! I can’t believe you’re not getting this!”

“He’s my dad!” Mac shouts, like that actually means something. Like Luther hadn’t been completely absent for the majority of his life. Like Dennis didn’t grow up with a father who was more abusive than he was caring. Like either of them actually knows what it means to have a father who gave half a shit about them.

“So what?” Dennis whispers. “He’s never fucking loved you.”

Mac stares at him sadly before shaking his head. “He does,” he insists stubbornly. “He does love me. And I… I know this is hard, I haven’t made up my mind yet. But I need you to support me instead of doing what you always do-”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“This is what you always do, Dennis." Mac says softly. "You just… you have this obsessive need to control my fucking life!”

Dennis shakes his head. It’s not true if he’s doing it for Mac’s own good. It doesn’t count if he’s stopping Mac from making the biggest mistake of his life. “I know what’s best for you,” he struggles to keep his voice steady. “I always have!”

“Goddamnit, Dennis!” Mac rubs his eyes in frustration. “You fucking… you always do this to me! God, you fucking _drugged_ me, because you wanted me to lose weight! You… you’re always manipulating me to do what _you_ want me to do! The-the Ass Kickers thing! Destroying my dad's letters! This is what you do! And it’s so fucking messed up!”

“No! No, that’s not what this is!” Dennis shakes his head quickly as he climbs off the bed. But Mac tenses and takes a step back, and _goddamn_ that feels like a stab to the chest. “Mac, you’re… you’re making a huge mistake, please, just-”

“No, you… you got me all confused, man.” Mac turns away and starts randomly throwing on clothes that he finds scattered on their floor. “I-I gotta think about this.”

“What?!” Dennis stares at him as Mac struggles into his shoes. “Where are you going? Don’t you fucking walk away from me, Mac!”

“I gotta go…” Mac mutters under his breath.

“What, so you’re… you’re gonna leave me?”

“No! No, I-of course not!” Mac insists. “I just...”

“That’s what it sounds like!” Dennis’ voice wavers. “Fucking _Mexico?_ That’s what’s going to happen if you go. You’d be leaving me.”

Mac pauses, halfway to the door. “It wouldn’t be forever?” He offers. “Maybe… maybe I’ll just go for a little while? I just wanna…”

“I can’t believe this,” Dennis whispers. “What-what the hell was all that before, when you said you were mine?! Was that all bullshit?!”

“We were fucking!” Mac says incredulously. “I would have said I was the Queen of England!”

“This is such bullshit,” Dennis shakes his head as his vision blurs from the tears building in them. “You can’t do this.”

“I haven’t decided if I will or not. I just… I just need to think about it, and I-I needed you to know…”

“He never fucking loved you, Mac.” Dennis spits. “He never fucking loved you.”

Mac stares at him, hurt blazing in his eyes. “Don’t do that,” he whispers.

Goddamnit, Dennis is hurting too. And the worst part is that he can’t say the words that he wants to. There’s someone here in Philly who loves Mac, and he’s standing right in front of him. Dennis doesn’t know what to do. Because Mac is turning to leave and he’s frozen from the paralyzing panic that’s rushing through him.

“Don’t you fucking walk away from me!” Dennis shouts.

Mac only mutters an apology before he’s out the door.

“Mac! Get back here!”

Dennis’ hands are clenched into fists at his sides. He feels wetness on his cheeks as he gasps for breath. That son of a bitch left. And there’s nothing Dennis can do but scream.

_“MAC!”_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interlude.

He doesn’t know where he’s going. 

There's no clarity or purpose. There’s no destination, Dennis is just driving and driving and driving. There’s too much going on, too much chaos in his head, and he can’t face it head on. He needs something to clear his mind, so he drives. And it’s no easy feat to speed through the streets of Center City, but it’s late and the roads are mostly clear, so he’s managing. 

Honking horns and screeching brakes barely register as he speeds through another intersection. There’s a flash of red. But it’s hard to tell if it’s red from a traffic light or if he’s just seeing red madness behind his eyes. 

He doesn’t deserve this, _goddamnit!_

Mac doesn’t get to leave him. Mac doesn’t get to ignore his texts and his calls for a day and a half, to avoid Paddy’s and their apartment and basically drop off the face of the earth. The only response Dennis had gotten, and the very one that sent him careening off the deep end was a single text message that read _‘I need some space’._

Mac doesn’t fucking get space. 

And all of a sudden, all the rage and fury comes hurtling back into him like he’d just gotten hit by a truck and he’s screaming as loud as his lungs will allow, slamming his hands against the wheel as he hyperventilates. 

The Philly street lights wash over his face, flashing dangerously in his eyes as he swerves through traffic, the Range Rover lurching between cars as he goes. He doesn’t know where he’s going and he doesn’t care. He just needs to madness to stop. Cars honk behind him as he flies by, fading voices scream belligerence, but none of it registers in the face of his rage. 

His voice sounds awful and animalistic as he screams. It feels like his throat might be tearing in half. His knuckles are pale white gripped around the steering wheel. Tears stream down his face and the tightness in his chest might well be eating him alive. Each breath is a strained gasp for air. Dimly, he wonders if he might pass out from the lack of oxygen.  

Mac did this to him, that _bastard._ Mac should fucking see him now and see what he’s done. Dennis wants to scream bloody murder at him but Mac isn’t here for that. So really what it comes down to, is that he should never have let himself be so vulnerable. He's got no one to blame but himself. 

Dennis draws a shaky breath through his teeth. A borderline hysterical laugh spills from his lips as he shakes his head. No, he should never have allowed this to happen. 

Mac should never have had this power over him. 

Dennis is scared. But the truth is, he’s been scared his whole life. Scared to let people in. Scared to trust others, either that they would stab him in the back or worse… abandon him when he needs them most. He's scared to take his medication because he’d be admitting that there’s something wrong with him. He’s scared to love, but he's also scared to end up alone.  

Dennis squeezes his eyes shut-just for a moment _._ His heart pounds and it’s deafening in his ears. Thank god there’s nothing but clear road ahead of him. 

He’s terrified that he’ll end up an old, pathetic, fucked up loser with nobody by his side who gives a shit about him. Not even his own sister will tell him she loves him. 

Dennis lets out another strangled cry. His face is red and contorted with rage as memories of Dee leaving him for a successful career flash in his mind. The fear chokes him, drawing the very breath from his lungs. It might have been a prank at the time, but it felt as real as day. And now it only compounds the intensity of his emotions. 

He hates how monstrous his feelings are. They overwhelm him in a way he didn’t even think was possible. He feels anger, resentment, helplessness… an amalgamation of so many different emotions as his mind races between thoughts of Mac and Dee, even Brian Jr. briefly flashes into his mind for reasons he can’t explain. His son, whom he’s never met, and might not ever get the chance to meet… 

Dennis sucks in another ragged breath through bared teeth. Tears flood his vision until he can barely see out the windshield into the dark of the night. He screams again as anxiety continues to leak from every pore. It’s not like there’s anyone left to hear him scream. 

His foot slammed down on the gas pedal feels like a lead weight. He’s sobbing and hyperventilating and all he can see is red, red, red… Maybe he’s self-destructing. Maybe this is what dying feels like. He lets out another hysterical cry. He’s deaf, blind, numb, and raging all at once. He wants it all to stop. 

Dennis had spent his whole life keeping others at an arm’s length. It was supposed to be his safety net. He shouldn’t be crying over Mac. When did he become this pathetic? When did the golden god become less than his worshippers?

_“GODDAMNIT!”_

The darker parts of him had always done their job of driving others away. Dee stuck around, but her life is as sad and pathetic as it gets. Charlie stuck around, only because he simply doesn’t know any better. Frank came back and stayed, but Dennis couldn’t honestly say that’s a good thing. Mac… Mac had been by his side for decades. They’re practically attached at the hip. Even in recent years when Dennis tried desperately to pull away, to get some space because it's dangerous to get _too_ attached, Mac stayed. And he stayed because he wanted to, and because he loves him. Despite his best efforts, Dennis fell for it all anyway. What a fool he is. Mac must be laughing at him now. 

That bastard.

Mac was never supposed to leave him. 

And now he might be going away. Separate entirely. Just like Dennis had taught him so many years ago. His life is crumbling to pieces and nothing fucking makes sense anymore. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It’s not supposed to _end_ like this. Like holding a lighter over a barrel of gasoline, it’s all about to go up in flames.

He can’t handle it. He can’t handle his emotions, everything that he’s feeling, it’s too much. 

_He sees red. So much red. Red, red like the-_

It all stops when his world is suddenly rocked by the screeching of brakes and the crunching of metal. A deafening roar envelopes him completely as glass shatters all around him.

The red fades to black, and he doesn’t feel anything anymore. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac finally confronts his dad about issues long overdue.

Mac avoids Dennis like the coward he is. 

He doesn’t have the guts to face him. And he wouldn't know what to say if he did. So Mac ignores the calls, and the texts go unanswered. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see Dennis. He’s not mad at him or anything like that. If anything, he misses his other half like he would miss a limb torn from his body. At this point, Dennis really is his other half. But the other man has never been supportive of his desire to form a relationship with his father. Quite the opposite, Dennis has shown time and time again that he’s very much against it. Mac never really understood why. The worst was finding out that Dennis had thrown out the letters his father had written him from prison. 

It hurt. It was a betrayal. And Mac had no choice but to get over it. At the time, post near-death experience, it seemed petty to hold a grudge. But truthfully, he can’t stand the thought of Dennis sabotaging yet another chance to have a real relationship with his dad.

And given the agonizing decision he has to make, quite possibly a life-changing one, this is something Mac has to figure out on his own. 

He does mention his situation to Charlie, who while also against Mac spending time with his convict, drug dealing, felon father, is somewhat more understanding given that they’ve known each other since they were young boys. Both of them grew up lonely and fatherless. 

Charlie gets it. 

The truth is, Mac wants this chance almost as badly as he’s ever wanted anything in his life.

He’s got a lifetime of fear and regret built up inside him, driving every decision he makes. Fear of not being enough, of being a disappointment to his parents and everyone around him. And when it comes to Dennis, of not being good enough for the guy to reciprocate the feelings that Mac has for him. Feelings that Mac has spent decades struggling with, because to accept them means to accept something about himself that he’d long been taught was simply unacceptable. 

And he’s cognizant enough to realize it all manifests by way of constantly craving attention and affection from the people he’s close to. He knows he comes off as desperate and needy sometimes, but he can’t help it. He’s lived his life constantly straddling a line between being emotionally vulnerable because it _feels_ right, and being so threatened by his own feelings. So afraid that they might be seen as a weakness in the eyes of the very people he wants to think of him as strong and dependable and _worthy_.

So it’s easy to believe that it all stems from his father leaving when he was young. The crisis early in his life that sets off this domino effect that has influenced every fiber of his being from then onwards. And maybe _this_ will be the solution to all his problems. 

Mac still remembers being seven years old and learning that his dad would be going away for a long time. He couldn’t understand it at first, he was just a kid. The concept of prison was only an abstract, make-believe notion in his head when he and Charlie would play cops and robbers. If one of them, ‘the cop’ catches the other, then ‘the robber’ would be stuck in Poppin’s playpen for a few minutes. The idea that his dad would be locked behind bars for years, that he wouldn’t be coming home every night… it wasn’t something he could even comprehend at the time. 

When it became a reality, he would ask his mom every weekend if they could go see dad together. In the beginning, she’d berate him endlessly for even suggesting it, taking her anger likely aimed at her absent husband out on her son. Over time, the harsh screams and profane curses would lose their bite. Almost like it took too much energy out of her to maintain them. Eventually, the vulgarities morphed into toneless, one-word answers. And then finally, into low grunts. Then she barely talked to him at all. 

Mac thinks his mother must have been as lonely as he was. Maybe she missed dad even more than he did.

They never did end up visiting the prison. His mom was too busy struggling to support them on her meager salary at the Jiffy Lube. And she didn’t want to see the guy anyway. As a kid, Mac wrote dozens of letters to his father, but never got a response. In retrospect, the way his mom reacted when he pushed the letters into her hands, they probably never got sent in the first place. 

Years and years later, when he found out that Dennis tore up his dad’s letters to him, Mac started to think his life was just one big, cosmic joke to the man upstairs. 

His father ended up being in and out of prison for the rest of his life. Every time he saw him, it got harder and harder to forge a connection with the guy. For so long, he’d wondered if his dad missed him. Or even thought about him ever. They’d lost so many years, and he can’t help but cling to the hope that every chance might be _the_ chance to make up for it.

His fantasies would range from his dad taking him to the National Baseball Hall of Fame to playing a simple game of catch with him in the park. Maybe his dad could have talked to him about girls, given him a few tips or fatherly words of advice. Maybe that would have changed everything. Fixed whatever screws in him that got knocked loose. Yeah, his dad would have definitely set him straight. 

He’d give anything to have those years back. 

So now Mac sits by the pier that his father instructed him to meet him at. It’s a secluded location, far away from the populated waterfronts of Penn’s Landing. He sits on the gravel, mindlessly throwing pebbles into the water as his mind agonizes over where his life should go next. He casually tosses another pebble into the water, watching the ripples spread and slowly disappear. 

The Delaware River is calm today, unlike his thoughts. 

His phone buzzes in his hands. He looks down to see a text from Dennis that reads: _Mac where the hell are you? Just answer me and we can talk about this! Don’t do anything stupid you goddamn idiot!_

Mac grimaces as his eyes cast over the words again and again. His thumb hovers over the little icon with Dennis’ stupid grinning face on it. 

_Fuck._

He doesn’t call him. 

He sends a short text message reading _‘I need some space’_. That should be enough. A moment passes and he contemplates sending an additional _‘I love you’_ to Dennis. He quickly pushes that thought out of his mind. Considering the circumstances, there’s no need to complicate things further. 

Mac sighs as he glances into the Delaware River. There’s a speedboat perched next to the empty dock and not a soul in sight. He wonders if this is the ride his father had set up for their little getaway.

The man had strictly told him not to meet him at the prison. Harsh tone, muttered curses, finger gestures and all. For once, Mac is going to do as he’s told. Honestly, he’s grateful for it. He still can’t wrap his mind around leaving Philadelphia. He doesn’t know if he can do it. Even after two days of agonizing, he’s still torn over what to do. On one hand, it’s his chance to finally have a real relationship with his dad, something he’s wanted for as long as he can remember. On the other, he’d be leaving behind everything he knows. And leaving Dennis. 

There not enough time in the world to make this decision.

He’s never been to Mexico. But he loves the water. And he’s always wanted to go sailing. The weather’s still too cold for it, but he imagines it’s real nice in Mexico this time of year. Lots of poor people probably… but maybe he could get used to it. He’s always wanted to get out of Philly. Not that he ever had a destination in mind. But surely there’s more to life than working at a bar, making less than minimum wage, drinking all day and pissing the night away. The years went by, his bank account never got any bigger, and it just never happened. He’s spent his whole life in the same city just… being stagnant. Maybe it is time for a change. 

He’s always loved the water. 

Mac hears approaching footsteps behind him and turns his head. He jumps to his feet, a grin spreading wide on his face when he sees his father approach. The man has only a single bag slung over his shoulder. And while Mac had hoped to receive a warmer greeting from his dad, all he gets is the same cold, intimidating look on the other man’s face. 

“Hey, dad!” Mac waves an arm eagerly as the other man approaches. “I-I made it! Just like I said I would!”

Luther nods his head and it seems to be the only response Mac is going to get out of him. 

Mac’s smile falters and fades, and he mentally kicks himself for once again coming off so desperate so quick. “It’s uh… it’s good to see you again! You look great!”

“Not so loud,” Luther mutters at his son, his sharp eyes shifting around, looking for people passing by. But their location is secluded and thankfully, there’s no one in sight.

“Right, sorry.” Mac bites his lip, looking around awkwardly. “That’s uh… that’s not the boat you’re taking to Mexico, right?” He points to the speedboat next to the dock as he pulls a face. “It seems a bit… small.”

“No,” Luther mutters as he takes in their surroundings. “We’re gonna take it down to Wilmington. Got us a bigger ride down at the Port. I already negotiated our passage. Gonna take us all the way down to  Cancún .”

“Wow,” Mac says softly, suddenly struck by the earth shattering reality of the situation. “Sounds like quite a trip.”

“Easiest way to get in without a passport.”

Luther moves towards the boat and Mac’s heart jumps painfully in his chest. “Um… how-how long is the trip?” He stammers, desperately racking his brain for anything to prolong getting on the damn boat. 

“It’s gonna be a few days,” Luther says roughly. “Cargo ship. Exporting dry bulk. We’re gonna spend the time hiding out in a broom closet.” He grimaces, as if cringing at the thought. “It’s gonna be a tight fit. They don’t usually check going in this direction, but better safe than sorry. Just in case.”

“Right.” Mac’s shoulders sag at the prospect. He swallows, not quite sure if he wants more answers to his questions. But the next one is a must. “So… what exactly are we doin’ down there?”

“Don’t ask so many questions,” Luther growls. He nods his head towards the water. “Let’s go.”

“Wait!” Mac says quickly. His feet feel like lead on the ground. “I-I haven’t made up my mind yet.” He cringes as his father’s eyes open terrifyingly wide. “I… I know I said I would think about it, but-”

Luther is clearly unimpressed. “I thought we went over this. You’ve had two days to make a decision. You showed up, I assumed that meant you’re in. Now, are you coming or not?”

Mac frowns and drops his gaze. He shakes his head as he mumbles dumbly, “I… I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been thinking about it non-stop. Going over it in my head again and again, but… I don’t know if I can do it,” he whispers. 

“Then what the hell are you doing here?”

Mac can’t remember his father ever speaking to him in a tone that isn’t indifferent at best, harsh and cruel at worst. He should be used to disappointment. But now he feels like shit and _goddamnit_ he’s trying his hardest. He blinks through the hurt in his eyes and stammers, “I-I don’t know… I couldn’t make up my mind!” 

“There’s nothing to think about,” Luther says firmly. “I thought you wanted this.” He waves his hand angrily between them. “This… father-son thing.”

“I do,” Mac insists. He hates the way his dad said it like it’s a chore. “But you haven’t been straight with me! What are you doing down there? You said you have a ‘job’ lined up.” He makes air quotes with his fingers. “I’m assuming it’s not gonna be sandy beaches, drinking tequila out of coconuts all day! Are you trafficking again? More drugs?”

“Lower your goddamn voice,” Luther growls, looking around suspiciously. He bites his tongue before continuing. “A man’s gotta make a living,” he finally says.

Mac’s heart sinks into his stomach. It lays there like a heavy weight in his gut. He feels like an idiot for wanting _so_ badly for this time to be different. But nothing ever changes. And Dennis was right all along. “Why this?” He whispers desperately. “Why do you have to do _this_?”

“What are you talking about?” Luther sighs with exasperation. “Why do you have to make such a big deal out of everything?”

Mac scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief. As if _he’s_ the crazy one for wishing his dad could lead something resembling a normal life. Or maybe for once, not be involved in criminal activity that’s likely to land him behind bars again.

“Look, you asked me to put in an effort,” Luther says in a low voice. “To be a ‘dad’ to you. Well, I’m tryin’ here!”

“Yeah, I wanted to have a proper relationship with you-”

“That’s what this is! Goddamnit!” Luther raises his arms along with his voice. “This is what I do! You know that! You’ve always known that! If you want to be a part of my life, this is it!”

Mac gapes at him. “What I wanted was a father!”

The worst part is seeing the frustration that flashes over Luther’s face, mirroring his own. 

“Goddamnit,” Mac mutters. “You spend half my life in prison. And the other half… you just didn’t give a shit about me.” Luther looks away, but Mac stubbornly keeps pushing. “I know I’ve made mistakes, but… I was hoping this would be our chance. To get things right. I mean, am I crazy here? Am I just delusional, thinking that this could work?”

Luther doesn’t answer. He just stares into the distance, a look of hard, bitter resentment on his face.

“Am I right?” Mac eventually asks. “Did you ever care about me at all?”

“Can we not do this?” Luther snarls through gritted teeth. 

“No, we are doing this. This is happening right now,” Mac says firmly. “Hell, I might never get another chance! You are asking me to leave my entire life behind, and I want to know what I’m doing that for. So just answer me! Tell me the truth. Did you ever care about me at all?!”

“Goddamnit!” Mac bellows when Luther rolls his eyes. “I am your son!” His jaw is stuck open hopelessly as the other man still refuses to say a word. But his voice is softer when he continues to speak, his desperation for _some_ kind of emotional response bleeds through every single word. “I’m your son, and you’ve never treated me like one. Why?! Just tell me why. Why do you hate me? Was I… was I not good enough? I know that I’ve… messed up a few times… but aren’t parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally or something?”

“Why are you being such a girl?” Luther mutters, having the nerve to sound irritated.

Mac stares incredulously. “Why were you such a shitty father to me?!” He screams. 

Luther hisses out a heavy breath between his teeth, looking anywhere but at his son. “Look… bein’ a dad… it’s just not in my nature,” he finally explains. “My father was the same way to me, and I turned out alright.”

“Are you kidding me?” Mac whispers, his eyes widening in a pathetic display of disappointment that, in all honesty, he should really be used to by now.

Luther shrugs. 

Mac sighs. He’s emotionally exhausted and the rest of the fight just drains out of him. “I think you really messed me up,” he whispers softly. He shakes his head and drops his gaze. He slowly sits down, resuming his earlier position on the gravel before the other man had shown up. He rubs his hands tiredly over his eyes. 

He’s not getting on the damn boat.

“Goddamnit,” Luther mutters. He groans heavily before slowly going to sit down next to his son. It comes off a lot more awkward than he means it to. “Why do you always have to complicate things?”

“I just wanted a dad,” Mac says tonelessly. He doesn’t really care anymore how pathetic he sounds. It’s not going to change anything, and he's got nothing to lose. So now he might as well just get it all off his chest. “I’ve always felt like a disappointment to you… and to mom.”

“Your mother was left with a lot on her plate.” Luther shrugs and continues when Mac turns his head to him in surprise. It’s the first time in a long time he’s hearing his dad talk about mom with multi-syllable words. 

“She became a single mother overnight. Raisin’ you, keepin’ the house afloat… It wasn’t easy on her. And I’m guessin’ you were probably a handful.”

“She barely spoke to me,” Mac mutters, thinking back to all the miserable moments he spent trying to get his mother to pay _some_ semblance of attention to him. It became a daily effort to continually convince himself that his mother loved him. It was a phase he never really grew out of. 

“You guys loved each other, right?” Mac asks hopefully.

Luther shrugs his shoulders casually. “At some point we did. Time changes you. Distance changes you. We never had an epic romance. Feelin’ like you’d die for that person?” He shakes his head. “We never had that kinda love.”

Mac blinks, suddenly taken back to all his earliest memories in life. When his mom and dad were both there, and together. They sure seemed like a happy, perfect family to him. When it crumbled to pieces he became fixated on getting back to that place. But maybe it was all in his head. Maybe they weren’t as happy as he remembered. And like the Christmas lies his dad had told him, maybe it just wasn’t real.

Surprisingly, it’s not the most devastating thought in the world. 

“You know, my father raised me the same way,” Luther explains quietly. “He was distant. Cold. Never got any kindness from the man. And he raised my brothers the same way. In my case, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I guess.”

Mac stares silently. He’d never heard any stories about the grandfather who died when he was too young to remember him. He doesn’t really know what to say.

“You… you turned out different though,” Luther continues roughly. He stares out into the water. His cold, blue eyes unblinking. Yet somehow, it’s the warmest Mac has ever seen him. “I never could wrap my head around it. How you turned out so damn needy.”

Mac cringes. His immediate instinct is to protest. “Well, I-”

“You’re soft,” Luther cuts him off. 

“No!” Mac exclaims, sitting up as tall as he can. “No, I can be hard! I can be _really_ hard!”

Luther makes a face of irritation and shakes his head. “Son, let's not do this anymore,” he says firmly, raising his hands. “You don’t have to pretend around me.”

Mac slowly lets his shoulders drop and he slumps over his knees. “I can be tough,” he mutters defensively. “Sometimes. You should have seen me, just a few days ago, I kicked these two assholes out of Paddy’s. It was completely badass.”   

Luther snorts in disbelief. “You’re… sensitive,” he says with a wave of his hand. “And I never knew how to deal with that. So I didn’t. And the more time I spent away… the easier it was not to.”

“Did you miss me?” Mac asks hopefully.

Luther immediately groans and turns his head away. 

“Oh, come on!” Mac whines. “Just tell me you missed me! How hard can that be?”

His father sighs and rolls his eyes. But he does give in eventually. “I… I thought about you…  _sometimes_ ,” he says slowly and carefully, as if each word were comparable to pulling teeth. 

“You did?” Mac whispers, a dopey smile spreading on his face. 

“Goddamnit,” Luther mutters with a groan. “Just like when you were a kid, you get excited over the smallest things. Always screaming and crying and whining… Gave me a damn headache.”

“Aw,” Mac says softly, stubbornly ignoring the way his father is displaying clear annoyance. “You _remember_.”

And shockingly, Luther puts up with it like any dad would. “You were a goddamn handful,” he drones. “I didn't like disappointing you. After so many years of it… just got used to it, I guess. Bothered me less over time.” He takes a slow breath through his nose as he remembers the decades past. “Maybe I could’ve tried harder.”

Mac swallows the lump in his throat. His chest is painfully tight as he struggles to contain his emotions. Words couldn’t describe how good it feels to hear these words from his father. He’s waited his whole life for this. “Me too, dad.” He says quietly.

Luther clears his throat, apparently deciding that they’ve shared enough, and this reminiscing over old times bullshit is done. “So you’re staying, huh?” He asks roughly.

Mac blinks and looks out onto the Delaware River. He thinks about leaving. About getting on that boat and traveling away to a place he’s never been. Leaving it all behind, and starting over somewhere new. It’s tempting. But it’s not enough. Dennis is here, and he could never leave him behind. A wave of nostalgia washes over him, for the city he loves, and the people who have become the most important in his life. 

Plus he doesn’t want to wind up in prison. And that’s a pretty big factor he has to consider. 

“Yeah,” Mac says softly. “Yeah, I’m stayin’.”

“I gotta take off,” Luther mutters, his hand inches towards the bag by his feet, looking anxious to get going. “Need a good start before my P.O. finds out I’ve ditched town.”

Mac frowns. “You gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Luther says with a nod. “Just gotta lay low for a while. The trip should be smooth sailing.” He glances at his son, as if pondering his next words. “I got somebody waiting for me,” he eventually says, in a tone that’s _almost_ lighthearted, as close to it as Mac has ever heard from him.

Mac raises his eyebrows in surprise. “What? W-who?”

Luther scoffs and half-smirks. “You know him, you damn rat,” he growls.

It takes him a moment, but when he realizes, Mac’s eyebrows nearly shoot up into his hairline. He chokes on his breath. “Eduardo… Sanchez?” He manages to gasp. 

Luther nods, his expression unreadable. 

“Wait, I-I thought he was awaiting trial or something? Did he… did he escaped?” Mac blinks. Last he remembers, the guy was incarcerated for a laundry list of crimes. “That is… so _badass.”_

Luther gives a small nod as he stands to his feet. Mac is still in awe as he mimics his motions. “He’s waiting for me down in  Cancún ,” Luther’s voice is low and steady, but he pauses, like he knows Mac has a question he’s dying to get out. 

Mac bites his lip. “Well, I mean obviously… obviously, you guys have a thing, right? Like… you’re prison buddies,” Mac laughs nervously. “ _Pals,_ right? You guys… you guys probably get along real uh…” He sniffs and clears his throat awkwardly while his father stares blankly at him. “Obviously, you’ve established your dominance over the guy. _That_ much is clear.”

Luther sighs heavily, but he doesn’t get a chance to get a word in. “You know, I myself am very passionate about dominating other men,” Mac boasts meekly. “It’s-it’s about power, right? It’s… all about establishing power? Yeah, I-I know all about that-” 

“No.” Luther’s stern, caustic voice cuts off his son’s ramblings.

“N-no?” Mac stutters timidly. He scrunches up his face in wary confusion. “So… it’s not about power?”

“It’s about…” Luther takes a deep breath, bracing himself before his voice rises again. “It’s about… _feelings.”_

Mac raises an eyebrow. “Feelings?” He echoes. It’s the last thing he expects to hear. 

“It about finding the one person in the world that you’d give it all up for,” Luther says evenly. 

Mac feels his breath catch in his throat as he nods along dumbly. He’s terrified to admit that this hits awfully close to home. “I always thought that was wrong,” he eventually says softly. 

“No. There’s nothing wrong with it, son.” Luther shrugs and slings his bag over his shoulder. “You love who you love.”

“I think…” Mac bites his lip. “I think maybe I got somebody like that here.”

The smallest, most minuscule _hint_ of a smile pulls at the corners of Luther’s mouth. It’s gone so quick, Mac thinks he might have imagined it. But then Luther says, “good for you, son.” And Mac decides right then and there, validation is a great feeling that he would love to get accustomed to. 

“If you got a life here worth staying for, then stay. I won’t hold it against you.”

Mac grins softly. “Really?” 

Luther nods and glances towards the water. “Look, once I get settled… maybe I’ll give you a call. Or write. That would probably be easier.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.” Mac nods eagerly. He father looks at him expectantly and Mac mirrors the same look on his face. 

“Well, I gotta go,” Luther mutters. “Got a tight timetable to stick to.”

“Yeah, of course!” Mac certainly doesn’t want his dad missing his ride in Wilmington. But another moment passes, and neither of them budges. 

Luther raises his eyebrows, clearly unamused. “Son?”

Mac’s face lights up. “Yeah, dad?”

“You gonna get outta my way?”

Mac is standing between Luther and the boat. “O-of course!” Mac says with a stuttering laugh. But his feet don’t move an inch. “I… I love you, dad.” He says hopefully.

Luther pauses and takes a heavy breath, silently cursing him to high heaven. After a moment, he rolls his eyes upward and _finally_ mutters under his breath. “I love you too, son.”

_There it is!_ He’s waited his whole life to hear those words from his dad, and Mac is grinning ear to ear as he opens his arms wide. He springs half a step forward when his dad holds up both hands firmly, stopping him in his tracks. “I don’t hug,” the other man growls loudly. 

“Right, right.” Mac nods and bows his head as he takes an embarrassing step back. “I remember. No hugs, no hugs…” he mutters. But it’s not all bad, and he finally steps to the side to let Luther saunter past him to the dock. 

Mac watches the other man climb into the speedboat with an anxious look on his face. He’s torn between happiness at what seems to be a clear breakthrough, and a desperate neediness to cling. He’s really gotta work on the latter part. 

“Bye, dad!” Mac shouts as the boat pulls away from the dock. He waves his arm wildly. His father gives him a final nod, and Mac watches as he speeds off down the Delaware River. He doesn’t take his eyes away until the small boat is out of sight. 

Mac’s breath catches in his throat as he gazes along the waterfront. The sun is setting. It’s so low he can’t even see it over the horizon, and the dusk sky is a beautiful, brilliant orange-red.   

His chest is pounding and he feels bright, warm, and happy. Better than he's felt in a long time. He stands by the pier, basking in it for a while until the sky is a sheet of darkness. 

He feels pretty damn good. He can't wait to see Dennis again. 

He’s just made his way past Penn’s Landing, walking towards the closest bus stop to head back to Paddy’s when his phone goes off in his pocket. It’s a _215_ that he doesn’t recognize.

“Yeah?”

_“Is this Mac?”_

“Uh, yeah? Who’s asking?”

_“I’m calling from Hahnemann University Hospital. We have a Mr. Dennis Reynolds that was brought into our E.R. after a multi-vehicle collision. He requested you as his emergency contact-”_

“What? Dennis _what?!”_ Mac screams into his phone. “W-wait, a car accident? Oh my god! Is he okay?”

_“I can't divulge that information over the phone without patient consent-”_

“What the hell?” Mac screeches. “Get the damn patient consent!”

_“Sir, if you would please come to the hospital, it is against code of practice to disclose this information over the phone-”_

“Goddamnit!” Mac curses. He looks up and down the road, seeing no sign of the next bus. He’ll take a goddamn internet taxi if he has to! “Okay, okay uh… Hahnemann Hospital?”

_“That’s correct, sir.”_

“Okay, I will be there!” 

Mac ends the call, glancing frantically down Columbus Boulevard. Cars speed past, but there’s still no sign of the next bus. He’s got to download one of those internet taxi apps from the app store that Dennis told him about. He curses himself for not paying more attention when Dennis told him about it and finally downloads one with a name that sounds vaguely familiar to him. 

As it goes, he quickly fires off a text message to the rest of the gang. His hands shake and his thumbs are all over the place because only a single coherent thought runs through his head. 

_Dennis is in the hospital. Dennis is in the hospital. What goddamn condition is Dennis in, in the hospital??_

He’s panicking and freaking out, falling apart and imagining the worst case scenario, all at once. All he knows is that he has to get to the hospital as soon as possible. 

This is real. And he gets it now. He understands what his father was saying. The one person in the world that he would give it all up for… It’s Dennis. Dennis is it for him. So goddamnit, Mac is going to get to that damn hospital, the goddamn _taxi app_ be damned, he’s going to get his ass to that hospital. 

To Dennis. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dee's having a rough night with her brother in the hospital. It ends better than it starts though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: implied self-harm.

“You goddamn _idiot!_ You’re lucky no one was hurt in the other car! What the hell were you thinking?! This is a goddamn lawsuit waiting to happen!”

“That’s what insurance is for,” Dennis seethes, as he rolls his eyes towards the ceiling. 

Dee lets out a huff of disbelief as she resists the urge to smack her idiot brother in his already injured head. When she’d gotten the text from Mac, her first instinct was panic. Not that she’d ever admit it to another human being, but the single thought in her head was to make sure that her asshole brother hadn’t killed himself in his two-decade old death trap of an amphibious exploring vehicle. 

It turns out, being T-boned at an intersection running a red light is definitely made worse when compounded with a lack of a seatbelt. Fear and panic, then exceeded by relief knowing that Dennis would be fine, quickly morphs into righteous, furious anger. 

“You goddamn moron,” Dee curses under her breath. Dennis is damn lucky to have made it out with only a concussion, a sprained wrist, and a few bruised ribs. 

“Well Dennis, if you need some help on the stand,” Charlie chuckles and gestures to himself with both hands. “You know you’ve got an expert in Bird Law at your disposal!”

“Oh my god, Charlie.” Dee groans as she rubs her fingers over her tired eyes. After the frenzied panic that Dennis had put her through tonight, only to find out it could have all been avoided if not for his own stupidity, she’s too fucking exhausted to deal with this right now. Quite frankly, it’s not her job to deal with her brother’s bullshit.

Out the corner of her eye, Charlie shrugs and gives Dennis a hopeful smile. With Frank asleep in the only chair in the room, the two of them are left awkwardly standing over Dennis’ bedside. 

Dennis looks the worst that she’s seen him in a while and it’s not just because of the bruises littering the side of his face. She has an eerie feeling it’s not the concussion either. She casually catches Charlie’s eye. _“Where’s Mac?”_ She silently mouths at him.

Right on schedule, commotion drifts through the open doorway. They hear him before they see him and they all turn towards the door. Seconds later, Mac crashes into the room, completely out of breath and tripping over his own feet like the clumsy oaf he is. 

They all look at him in shock, but Dennis immediately straightens in his bed, with a bit of difficulty and discomfort. 

Dee breaks the silence first. “What the hell took you so long?! We’ve been here for ages!”

“I-I uh…” Mac stutters as he gasps for breath. His eyes quickly land on Dennis on the hospital bed. “It-it took me a while to figure out the Uber app,” he finally manages to say. His cheeks are red, either from his haste or his embarrassment. “Dennis! Are you okay?!” He glances him up and down to suss out the damage. 

Dennis shifts uncomfortably, clearly trying to sit up properly. Dee none too gently adjusts the pillow behind him. “He’s fine,” she says, answering for him with annoyance in her voice. “Sprained wrist and a mild concussion. He’ll walk it right off.”

“Oh, thank god!” Mac’s shoulders sag with the weight of his relief. “I was so worried about you! When I got the call from the hospital, I-I didn’t know what to think…”

“Where the hell were you?” Dennis asks softly.

“I was… I was with my dad.” Mac hesitantly approaches the bed. “I’m sorry I stayed away… I just… I just needed some time to figure some stuff out.”

Dennis doesn’t quite look convinced. Dee raises an eyebrow and gives Charlie a look. He mirrors her expression and for a second Dee thinks maybe they should step outside and give these two their privacy. Then she firmly decides that she doesn’t give a shit either way. 

Ignoring their presence, Mac places his hand over Dennis’ on the bed. “I’m here now?” He says gently, a wry grin on his face.

“Yeah, well. I’m still pissed at you,” Dennis growls, stubbornly pulling his hand away. “I hope you didn’t get _too_ far,” he mutters under his breath. 

“What?”

Dennis raises an eyebrow and scowls. “Did you have to turn around? I'd hate for this to be an inconvenience for you.” 

Realization dawns on Mac’s face and Dee makes a note to ask Charlie about it later. 

“Dennis…” Mac says softly as he shakes his head. “Dennis, I never left.”

Dennis blinks slowly as he digests Mac’s words. “Were you… were you going to go?” He asks hesitantly. 

Mac bites his lip as he considers the question. “Maybe… maybe a part of me wanted to. But you were right though. You were right about a lot of things. And the truth is… I already have someone here worth sticking around for.”

There’s a complete shift in Dennis’ expression. Like he’s so overwhelmed and exhausted that the shields drop because he simply doesn’t have the strength to keep them up anymore. It’s been a long time since Dee had seen her brother look so vulnerable. And in this moment, she sees something else that leaves a feeling of awful dread deep in her gut. 

She’s never quite understood Dennis’ relationship with Mac. Nor has she cared to try. She only knows that the emotions run deep. And Dennis has never been good where emotions are concerned. Or stable, for that matter. 

For decades, she watched as they were too stubborn and too stupid to see the truth that’s so obvious to everyone else around them. Knowing her brother better than anyone, Dee also sees how fragile it is. And dangerous. They tip-toe around their feelings, and maybe they should be so careful. She’s always thought one day it’ll all inevitably implode in their faces. Mac and Dennis are like a volatile infatuation that refuses to fade with time. 

But now, she watches them. Mac is grinning softly at Dennis, and the other man does his best in return. And for a moment, everything is fine. The only sounds in the small hospital room are Frank’s snores in the corner. Until Dee’s phone buzzes loudly in her pocket, shaking everyone out of their stupor. 

Dee glances down at her phone while Mac awkwardly clears his throat and Dennis works to compose himself. 

It’s a text from Sean. _Babe, I’m almost there._

It doesn’t go unnoticed that Charlie is blatantly looking over her shoulder. He’s not even trying to be subtle. The corners of her lips twitch as she fights a grin at his behavior. 

“How bad is the car?” Mac asks suddenly.

“Nothing money can’t fix.” Dee nods her head over at Frank sleeping in the corner. 

“Well… since everybody seems to be good here,” Charlie rubs his hands together as he looks around at the group. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna hit the cafeteria, I think.”

“Cool, dude.”

“Mac, why don’t you go with him?” Dee urges, as casually as she can.

“What?” Mac finally pulls his gaze away from Dennis to frown at her. “Why would I do that?”

“Maybe Charlie could use the company,” Dee suggests, wanting a moment alone with her brother. “Maybe Dennis is hungry?” 

“Oh.” Mac quickly turns to Dennis. “You hungry, dude?”

“No, not really,” Dennis says slowly, as he frowns at her.

“You know what, the food they give you here is such crap,” Mac says firmly, shaking his head. “I’m gonna see if I can find you something better.”

“What? Mac, I just said I wasn’t hungry.”

“Oh!” Mac ignores his protests and claps his hands together. “I’ll get you some jello!”

“Mac, no-I don’t want jello!”

“Yes! I’m gonna get you orange, your favorite!” Mac says eagerly, as Dennis’ protests continue to go unheard. “I know hospital food sucks, dude. We’ll get you out of here real soon!”

“Mac!”

“I’ll be right back!” Mac shouts, right before he rushes out the door after Charlie.

“What the hell?” Dennis sputters helplessly at his sister. 

“Oh, calm down,” Dee groans. “What, you two can’t stand to be separated for five freakin’ minutes?”

Dennis is already gazing longingly at the empty doorway where Mac disappeared through. “Why the hell did you have to say that?”

“Because I have a bone to pick with you,” Dee hisses, as she leans over the bed. “Did you do this on purpose?” 

“What?” Dennis’ genuinely confused look almost throws her off. Almost.

“The car crash,” Dee emphasizes slowly. “You, ending up in the goddamn hospital, did you do it on purpose?”

Dennis recoils at her words. A look of fear flashes across his face. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Come on, marital issues at home?” Dee asks sarcastically. “What is this, like an outlet for you? A cry for help?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Dee?” Dennis hisses through gritted teeth. Had she not spent her whole life with her sibling, his glare _might_ have sent her cowering to the floor. “It was an accident.”

“Yeah, you say that. And I’m not sure I believe you,” she says simply.

Dennis stares at her, stony-faced and silent. “I wasn’t paying attention and I ran a traffic light-”

“So Mac was going to leave?” Dee interrupts him. She got that much from what she heard. She tilts her head and gives a shrug of her shoulders. “He was going to leave Philly? He was going to leave _you?”_

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, bitch.” Dennis growls.

“I think I know enough,” Dee doesn't back down. “I know you, Dennis. What were you hoping, an emergency call from the hospital would have him turning around? Falling right back at your feet like the dog you think he is?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Dennis hisses. “That’s not what happened-”

“Am I wrong?” Dee demands. “Just tell me if I am.” She shakes her head when she gets nothing but stubborn, hostile silence. “You are so desperate to keep him. To keep him in this fucked up, toxic _bubble_ that you’ve created for yourselves. It is messed up. And it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if you did this just to keep him. So please… tell me if I’m wrong, because goddamnit Dennis, I know you. And I know that you would absolutely do this to yourself just to send Mac crawling back in your direction.” 

A heavy silence fills the room as identical blue eyes stare each other down. Dennis breaks first. “Fuck you,” he spits. “You don’t know shit.”

“So you weren’t trying to get his attention? Because he was waning from you?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dennis whispers. He closes his eyes heavily. Maybe his exhaustion is finally getting to him.

“Of course I do,” Dee says softly. “I know you better than anyone.”

Dennis doesn’t get a chance to reply because their moment is suddenly interrupted by Mac’s return. He bursts in happily, the dark and heavy mood of the room going clear over his head. He proceeds to dump half a dozen cups of orange jello onto the bed between Dennis’ legs. There’s not a spoon in sight. Charlie is also notably absent. 

“I got you something from the gift shop!” Mac holds up a paper gift bag and proceeds to pull out a small blue stuffed elephant wearing a tiny little t-shirt with _Get Well Soon_ stitched onto the front in red letters. He waves it eagerly in Dennis’ face, nearly poking him in the nose with the trunk.

Dennis raises an eyebrow. He looks a bit cross-eyed as he stares at the thing inches from his face. “You got me a stuffed animal?” He asks warily.

Mac turns the elephant around and grins at it. “Well, I saw it and it reminded me of the one you had. You know, except… the head is still attached.”

Dennis’ jaw falls open a bit as his eyes flicker between Mac’s face and the silly toy he holds in his hand. 

“What was his name?” Mac pulls a face as he struggles to remember. 

“Mr. Tibbs,” Dennis murmurs softly, taking the elephant out of Mac’s hand. “You remembered.”

“Of course I did,” Mac says with a grin. He leans his butt on the edge of the bed. “Scooch over.”

Dennis inches over as gingerly as he can, still tightly gripping onto the silly stuffed animal as Mac slides into the bed next to him. It looks about as ridiculous as possible, two grown men trying to fit onto a small hospital bed, but they somehow manage. Mac wraps an arm around Dennis’ shoulders, his ass is half hanging off the bed as Dee stares at them incredulously. 

It'd be a sweet sight if she didn't hate them as much as she does. 

“Are you goddamn kidding me?” She mutters, remembering how she had torn the head off Mr. Tibbs years ago and Dennis pretended that he didn't care. “That stupid stuffed elephant?”

Mac doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed.

“Get out of here, Dee!” Dennis looks torn between yelling furiously at her and burying himself further into Mac’s embrace.

“Oh, Dee!” Mac chimes up. “Charlie spilled a dirty bedpan all over your boyfriend, by the way. It's kind of a mess out there.” He points his thumb towards the doorway as he cringes.

Dee blinks in shock. “What?!”

“Yeah, they're shouting at each other.” Mac makes a face and shakes his head. “You better go break it up.”

Dee sputters at him, trying and failing to form a coherent sentence about how this _wasn't_ the first thing Mac mentions upon his return. She leaves the two in their sweet, gag-worthy embrace and storms off to find the chaos that Charlie had surely caused at her expense. 

She rushes down the hallway, quickly recognizing the pair of loud, arguing voices right before she turns the corner. Charlie is keeping his distance, but clearly trying to defend himself as nurses and onlookers cringe, holding their noses in disgust. 

“What the hell is going on?” Dee screeches as she comes to a stop before them. Sean is glaring furiously at Charlie. His white t-shirt is brown and dripping with excrement. He wipes his face with the back of his hand, removing what is very likely piss and more feces. Dee gags at the horrendous stench and pulls her hand up to her mouth to stifle the nausea. 

“Sean, oh my god, you stink!” That’s putting it mildly. She gags just from being in the vicinity. 

A dirty bedpan lies abandoned on the floor. 

“Yeah, because this asshole spilled piss and shit all over me!” Sean points a dirty finger at Charlie, who shakes his head vehemently, an expression of mock innocence on his face. 

“You walked right into me, dude!”

“Charlie!” Dee’s voice is a tired whine. She’s so frustrated and tired that she doesn’t even have the strength to yell at him properly. She really just wants the smell to go away. And the man with it. 

“It’s not my fault, Dee!” Charlie insists, raising his arms in defense. “If the guy doesn’t want to be covered in piss and shit, he should really look where he’s going!” He turns to Sean who’s still gaping at him in anger. “You should really look where you’re going, dude.”

“Oh my god,” Dee groans. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to steady herself. Too much has happened tonight, and she can’t fucking handle one more thing. She shakes her head and finally turns to her boyfriend. “Sean, go home and clean yourself up, please. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Babe-” 

“No,” she says firmly. “There’s no way you’re coming over smelling like that.” Charlie’s grinning like an idiot next to her. Someone needs to teach this boy some subtlety. 

“Come on, babe-”

“No, I will see you tomorrow.”

“Fine,” Sean mutters. He sends Charlie one final glare before turning on his feet. People around him clear a wide path for him as he walks away, leaving a trail of stench that follows him like a cloud.

“What the hell was that, Charlie?” Dee demands once Sean is out of sight.

“It was an accident, Dee.” Charlie shrugs innocently.

“Oh, so you were just _accidentally_ carrying around a bedpan of piss and shit? You just accidentally spilled it all over him? _ACCIDENTALLY??”_

A moment passes where neither of them speaks. There’s commotion all around as people resume bustling around them in the crowded corridor. Charlie blinks and then smiles shyly as he shrugs. 

Dee feels all her anger drain out, like someone just pulled her stopper.

“You wanna get out of here?” Charlie asks casually.

Dee sighs and looks in the direction of Dennis’ room. He’s got Mac, so… the whole situation is really something she’d rather not go near with a ten-foot pole. “Sure,” she sighs. “Why not? I’ll give you a ride home.”

Charlie grins as they head towards the exit. “Well, I was kinda hoping… maybe we could hang out or something?”

Dee snorts and raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Really?” She glances at her watch. It's late, really late.

“Yeah! It’s been awhile since you and I have hung out. You know, just you and me?”

A grin pulls at Dee’s lips. The first real one all night. “Well, I’ve got a box of wine at my place,” she says casually. 

“Let’s get into it!” Charlie exclaims.

Dee rolls her eyes, but she’s amused. And maybe Charlie’s hand brushes against hers as they walk down the hallway. It might have been an accident, it might not. She doesn’t take it. But she doesn’t pull away either. She glances at him out the corner of her eye. He looks dumbly happy after pouring a full bedpan of feces and excrement over another man. 

She curses herself for finding it endearing. 

All things considered though, her night could have definitely ended worse. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow, passionate morning sex.

Dennis breathes slow and deep as his mind reluctantly relinquishes its hold on sleep. The warm body around him attempts to pull him back in, but it eventually loses the battle when Dennis slowly opens his eyes. He blinks blearily at the morning light shining through the window and notes the heavy arm wrapped around him. A small grin pulls at his lips when he feels something else heavy and hard pressed against his ass. He stirs softly, indulging himself in one good stretch, careful not to the wake the other man sleeping beside him.

He slowly rolls over onto his back, turns his head and lets his eyes trail over Mac’s sleeping face. The other man snores gently. Mac’s arm now rests across his chest. Dennis exhales lightly and doesn’t waste this opportunity to silently watch Mac as he sleeps.

Judging from the brightness of the room, his own internal clock tells him it’s nearly noon. For the past few days, almost an entire week, Mac had gotten up at the asscrack of dawn and disappeared by the time Dennis woke up to a cold bed and an empty apartment. He was confused, angry, and more than a little panicked at Mac’s strange behavior. Eventually, he got so sick and so scared of the other man’s paper-thin excuses and lame attempts to change the subject upon confrontation, that he finally followed him one morning after the other man snuck out of bed.

And that’s how he discovered Mac’s whereabouts. From a safe distance, he watched as Mac walked up the steps to his chapel and disappeared behind its wide, wooden doors.

He stood on that street corner for a good half hour before walking away, feeling a little lost. And more than a little hurt. Yet at the same time, he knows,  _rationally_  that he has no rhyme or reason to be miffed. In the end, he chalks it up to him being possessive again. And he’s trying to stay away from unhealthy behaviors. He’s making an effort. Dee’s words to him in the hospital still echo in his head. It terrifies him. He terrifies himself. And he recognizes how dangerous it all is. It’s not the first time he’s been scared by the intensity of his own emotions.

Dennis tells himself he’s going to work on it, and he doesn’t ask Mac where he’d been going every morning since. He trusts him. And that should be enough.

And then yesterday, something happened that changed everything forever.

_“Mac, bring these drinks over to the girls sitting in the booth.”_

_Mac raises his eyebrows at the three vodka Red Bulls Dee set in front of him and snorts derisively under his breath. As if the very idea of him doing work is laughable. “Do it yourself,” he quips, shaking his head and returning to his beer._

_Dee leans over the bar and glares furiously, inches from his face. “Mac,” she growls, her voice low and dangerous. “In case you haven’t noticed, the bar actually has business right now. I’ve been making drinks for customers all night, seeing how Dennis is out of commission. Charlie is in the bathroom scrubbing urinals. And you two-” she gestures pointedly at the two of them. “Are just sitting on your asses drinking beer! Why don’t you think about doing your damn job!”_

_Mac and Dennis casually make eye contact, then return their gazes to blink owlishly at Dee._

_She lets out a huff of frustration. “Okay, Dennis, you do it then!”_

_“He’s got a sprained wrist!” Mac cries out._

_Dennis grins quickly. “I’ve got a sprained wrist!” He holds it up as if to show her the proof._

_“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dee gasps. “Am I supposed to tend bar and waitress all on my own?”_

_“I mean, you’ve either got what it takes or you don’t, Dee.” Dennis and Mac share a chuckle at her expense._

_“Mac, can you just do it?” Dee hisses as she nears the end of her rope. “Just bring the drinks over! It’ll take you a second!”_

_Mac turns to glance at the booth behind them. He pulls a face as he shakes his head at the group of loud women clearly enjoying a girls’ night out as they hoot and chatter. “Nah. I’m not doin’ it.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Because I’m gay.”_

_Dennis sputters and almost chokes on his beer. Dee’s eyes go so wide, it’s almost comical._

_“What?”_

_“What did you say?”_

_Mac bites his lip. He looks a bit taken aback by his own words, but he doesn’t seem nearly as surprised as Dennis thinks he should be. “Yeah, I’m… I’m gay.”_

_Dee gets over her shock much quicker than Dennis does. “Yeah, no shit, dimwit.”_

_Mac only rolls his eyes in response. “Actually feels pretty good,” he says casually, sending a fond glance in Dennis’ direction._

_“Good for you, Mac.” Dee drawls sarcastically. “You being gay doesn’t mean we should pick up the slack for you. So do your fucking job!” She walks away with a huff, taking the drinks with her._

_“Wow,” Dennis manages to say softly once they’re left alone. “So you’re… you’re cool with it?”_

_Mac nods. “Yeah. I think… I’m just tired of lying to myself, you know? It feels good.” He sighs softly in relief and carefully meets Dennis’ eyes. “Maybe I just realized… it doesn’t matter. I think maybe God made me the way I am… and I think that’s okay.”_

_“That’s great, Mac.” Dennis murmurs. He’s both startled and impressed… and above all else, so fucking happy for his friend because this revelation was years in the making. Decades even._

_“It feels good to say it out loud,” Mac says with a grin._

_“I bet.”_

_Dennis’ lungs are tight, and it almost hurts to be so proud and watch the other man look so damn happy, and he thinks to himself, it’s everything that Mac deserves. Everything._

Dennis grins softly at the memory.

His morning wood is an uncomfortable presence between his legs and it’s giving him some ideas as he watches the sleeping man next to him.

Mac has always been a heavy sleeper. Dennis knows this from experience.

He smirks to himself as he carefully rearranges their positions, gently lifting Mac’s arm and rolling the other man onto his back as he climbs to his arms and knees above him. The covers fall away and he’s very grateful the two of them had gotten into the habit of sleeping nude. It definitely makes things easier as Dennis eyes Mac’s dick-an impressive half-chub in its current state.

His still-healing wrist complains about the position it’s subjected to and Dennis shifts his weight to his elbows as he carefully crawls down Mac’s body. He pauses with his face very near the other man’s genitals and wastes almost no time before opening his mouth and running his tongue along the length of Mac’s cock. He exhales through his nose as he wraps his lips around the tip, swirling his tongue around the head before taking the length deep into his mouth.

There’s a murmur and a shift of movement above him, but Mac isn’t quite awake yet. Dennis knows he will be soon enough. He hollows his cheeks and swipes his tongue side to side along the other man’s cock. He bobs his head up and down, straining against the mattress and reveling in the beautiful, soft moans that reach his ears. He continues working his tongue to the best of his ability, until finally, with a sharp jolt and a strangled gasp, Mac very abruptly startles awake.

“Dennis-”

Mac’s eyes fly open and he gasps sharply, looking down at Dennis and finding the other man with his lips wrapped tightly around him. His choked gasps turn into a groan as his foggy eyes close and his head falls back onto the pillow behind him. “Jesus christ, Den-”

Dennis smirks around his cock, feeling so smug and triumphant as one of Mac’s hands buries itself in his sleep-mussed curls. Another slow swirl and he lifts his head, trailing his tongue slowly behind him as he goes. “Good morning,” he whispers hoarsely.

“Damn good way to start the day,” Mac gasps, seconds before Dennis lifts himself up and cuts him off with a kiss.

_“Hmm.”_

Dennis ruts against him and Mac groans heavily, still trying to raise himself from the fog of sleep.

“Oh,” Mac murmurs quietly. His eyes are still closed, but he feels Dennis’ erection pressing against his thigh and he grins. “You’re all revved up and ready to go, aren’t you?”

Dennis stills. He bites his lip as he glances down at the man beneath him. His eyes are sharp and dark as they roam over Mac’s face. “I can think of a better way,” he murmurs softly, still tasting Mac on his lips.

“What?” Mac's voice asks lazily. 

“I want you to fuck me.”

Mac’s eyes fly open in shock. He's suddenly very wide awake. “What?” He asks again, his hands grasping at Dennis’ sides. But Dennis made no mistake.

“Yeah,” Dennis murmurs. He takes a sharp inhale through his nose and gives a firm nod of his head. “I want you to fuck me.” His voice is hard, and he says the words almost like a challenge.

A heavy kiss cuts off any response Mac might have had, as Dennis eagerly presses his tongue into the other man’s mouth and ruts against him. There’s a stringent taste of morning breath, but he figures his own mouth probably tastes like dick, so he lets it go.

Mac moans against him, eagerly leaning up with a desperation that Dennis has come to expect from him. His hands drift down, coming to grip Dennis’ ass, and he kneads it under strong fingers. It sends a wave of arousal straight to Dennis' groin. And they’ve only barely gotten started.

Dennis grinds his hips down and Mac gasps, releasing a deep whine in his throat that Dennis eagerly swallows. The other man chuckles breathlessly against him, softly murmuring his name.

“Come on,” Dennis whispers, suddenly so confident and eager and  _aching_ for it that it takes himself by surprise. “I thought you had been begging me for this.”

There’s a wild hunger in Mac’s sharp eyes that sends a shiver down Dennis’ spine. His palms are warm against Dennis’ skin. And his chest rises and falls heavily as he breathes. “Den, you know I want this so bad… are you sure about this?” He asks softly. “I-I don't want to push you…”

Dennis pauses and actually takes a second to consider it. There’s a part of him that’s still wary about it. It’s not that he’s never taken a dick before, but he’s never done this with  _Mac._ And it's Mac. It scares him for reasons he doesn’t quite understand. Why should it make him feel so vulnerable? Like he’s giving up a part of himself.

He pushes those thoughts out of his head.

It’s just taking a dick. It shouldn’t be a big deal.  

“Yeah,” Dennis replies roughly. “Yeah, I want you to fuck me.” He grinds his ass down again, causing the other man to shudder as he gasps for air. “ _Fuck,_ Mac _._ Do whatever you want to me.”

He’s not sure what he was expecting for an answer. But he doesn’t have time to think about it when Mac immediately grips him about the arms and flips them over. Dennis hits the mattress with a soft  _oomph_ and they fall into a tangled mess of limbs and sheets.

Mac kicks the covers away. “Dude, I’ve wanted to put my dick in you for  _years.”_

Dennis snorts, completely unsurprised. But he’s grinning as Mac’s lips attach themselves to his neck. He arches up beneath him, his eyes fluttering shut as his hand buries itself in Mac’s messy bed head, holding him close. Mac wraps a hand around his cock, stroking it to full hardness as he groans. His breath escapes from him in a sharp hiss just as Mac pulls away, and Dennis’ eyes fly open, lamenting the loss.  

Mac reaches for their bedside table. A second later, he’s got the bottle in his hand and wastes no time squirting lube onto his fingers.

“Someone’s in a rush-” Dennis’ voice abruptly cuts off when he feels fingers pressing against his entrance. He gasps at the sensation, already feeling the air leave his lungs. The lube is fucking cold as Mac circles his rim. A thick finger pushes into him, and he favors closing his eyes and dropping his head back as he moans loudly, enjoying the intrusion as Mac stretches him out. He gasps softly as he relaxes, letting his muscles loosen as sharp sensations of pleasure spread through his body. 

Mac has fingered him before. Dennis at least gave him that much. And thankfully, the man knows what he’s doing. He curls his finger  _just_ right and it has Dennis arching his back for more. He bites his lip to stifle his moans when Mac adds a second digit, stretching him slow and smooth.

“God, you’re so tight,” Mac murmurs. His eyes flicker up to Dennis’ face, but the other man has his eyes closed, quietly enjoying the sensation of Mac scissoring his fingers with his lips parted in a silent fervor. He finds Dennis uncharacteristically quiet. In his experience, Dennis is extremely vocal in bed. Even with women, Dennis has a habit of never shutting up. So Mac finds this muteness both strange and unappealing.

He grins right before he dips his head, taking Dennis’ cock in his mouth as he continues to explore the other man’s body with his fingers. Dennis lets out a choked gasp, feeling a warm, wet tongue running up and down his cock. All he feels is heat and slickness and the fingers in his ass have him crying out hoarsely for more.  _“Mac, holy shit-”_

Dennis opens his eyes, looks down and quickly decides that Mac looks better than anyone has the right to look with a dick in their mouth. His pupils are blown wide as he watches him. He squirms and pants against the sheets as he buries a hand in Mac’s hair, tugging painfully to get the other man’s attention.

Mac slowly releases his cock from his lips and lets Dennis pull him up for a kiss. He pulls his fingers out and Dennis whines softly at the loss. The sound goes straight to his cock, which throbs achingly between his legs. He's shaking, so desperately eager for what's coming next.  

“Get inside me. Now.” Dennis demands. "Now!"

Mac smirks against Dennis' lips. That’s more like the Dennis he knows. Mac frantically reaches for the bottle of lube again.

Dennis watches impatiently as Mac slathers his cock until it’s slick. His face is flushed and his chest heaves with anticipation. There’s a brief moment of panic as his chest tightens. But then Mac looks up at him. He leans close, cups his face with his hand, and brings their lips together in a kiss. And Dennis realizes he didn't even know he wants this  _so_ badly.

He gazes up at him when Mac pulls away. Every instinct tells him to pull him back into arms. But he tells himself, just this  _once,_ let Mac take control. So he watches silently as the other man steadies himself with a hand on his hip, lines up his cock and slowly,  _slowly_ presses into him.

Dennis gasps, letting his head fall back to the pillow as he feels every inch of Mac’s cock sliding into him. His instinct is to clench against the painful intrusion. But he forces himself to relax, letting his muscles go slack to make it easier. It hurts. And his fingernails are probably leaving behind bright red scrapes on the other man’s arms. He pants heavily as his body adjusts to the feeling of being filled. A few heavy breaths, and it gets easier to bear. 

“Mac,” Dennis whispers, clutching the other man close to him. Mac’s face is now buried in his neck. Dennis opens his eyes as he gasps silently. The other man doesn't respond save for a few heavy breaths. 

“Mac?” Dennis whines softly as he squirms under him. “You can move.”

Mac growls quietly before letting out a sound that somewhat resembles a moan. “Shut up,” Mac hisses, his voice strangled. “I’m really tryin’ not to bust here.”

Dennis rolls his eyes. But the gesture is a mix of frustration and pleasure, because he’s already rocking his hips, pressing himself further onto Mac’s cock, so desperate for the other man to just  _move_ and fuck him already _._

“Oh my god, Dennis-” Mac gasps against him. He grunts and grabs Dennis around the thigh, hiking it up further to get a better angle. His head spins as he struggles to ground himself, but then he finally starts to thrust his hips, pulling out just enough before burying himself deep in Dennis' body.  _“Holy shit.”_

Dennis mewls loudly when Mac’s dick hits his prostate. And he does it again and again and again. He whines and trembles, because Mac feels  _so good_ inside him, filling him up… and he clenches his muscles as he's shaken to a rhythm that’s quickly building up pace.

_“Holy fuck you feel so good. You’re gonna make me cum, Den-”_

“Not yet,” Dennis gasps, arching up against him. His voice is little more than a whine as he plants a soft kiss on Mac’s lips. Their eyes meet in a searing gaze. He feels a jolt in his chest like he’d been struck by lightning. It’s frenzied and euphoric and despite everything that he told himself sex was  _supposed_ to be… it's nothing like this. There's a yearning deep in his gut that constantly aches for more. So much more. 

“Harder,” Dennis demands, gripping the other man’s arms tightly. “Come on, fuck me harder," he begs.

Mac complies as he drives into him again and again. Dennis practically melts into the sheets with every thrust. He closes his eyes and just lets the beat guide him. The sensations are overwhelming and all he feels is  _Mac Mac Mac_  and it's so fucking good.

They shudder against each other, their bodies damp with sweat. Mac isn't disappointed by the beautiful sounds and muffled curses that are torn from Dennis’ throat. He’s _so_ close. And he knows Dennis well enough to know the other man is near the edge as well.  _“Dennis…”_ His voice is painfully strained. He finds refuge burying his face in the other man's neck and he inhales sharply as his thrusts become faster and faster, bringing them closer to climax.

Dennis makes a choked sound deep in his throat when he feels Mac’s hand wrap around his cock. His breath comes out in small, eager moans as he breathes Mac’s name like a secret. His fingernails dig painfully into the other man’s flesh. All he sees is white behind his eyes and it feels  _so_ good. Mac squeezes his ass and it’s almost enough to distract him. _Almost._

He’s never been fucked like this before. He’s terrified he might just break apart into pieces under Mac’s hands. He remembers how scared he was to lose him. And for a moment, he allows himself to imagine what it might be like to have a lifetime of this. It’s better than any fantasy he had ever envisioned in his mind.

He tilts his head just to get closer to him. And he’s welcomed with a mouthful of Mac’s hair. He gasps and cries softly, approaching the critical point where pleasure and torture feel like one.

 _I love you. I love you I love you I love you._ He mouths the words into Mac’s hair, taking some solace in knowing that Mac can’t hear them.

Mac moans above him, getting louder as he brings them both closer to release.  _“Fuck!”_  Dennis throws his head back as Mac pushes him over the edge. He sobs and clings onto Mac for dear life, his orgasm washing over him in waves that seem never-ending. With a final snap of his hips, Mac is emptying himself with a tortured shout.

Dennis echoes with a hoarse cry of his own. He's nearly reduced to tears as he shakes and trembles in ecstasy, whispering the other man’s name as Mac continues to milk his cock between them. He whimpers softly when it’s over. His legs tremble, and there’s a wet mess on his stomach. He aches all over in the most wonderful way.

He's blissed out, feeling completely deconstructed under the other man's touch. It’s a several moments before he manages to find his tongue.

Eventually, Mac lifts his head and Dennis finally opens his eyes.

“You okay?” Mac asks softly. He’s flushed and out of breath, and there’s a hint of a smile on his lips as he watches him.  

“Hm,” Dennis breathes. “That was amazing. Holy shit, Mac.”

Mac’s grin gets wider and Dennis knows it’s going to go straight to his ego. But he doesn’t have the strength to care. His eyes flutter shut and he feels Mac’s lips brush against his cheek and his lips.

He wonders how they ever managed to go twenty years without experiencing this. And now, he wonders if they’ll survive it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac finds himself trapped in a difficult cycle. Dennis refuses to have a conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: rape kink.

The good moments never last for long. The gleeful smiles, lingering glances, and life on cloud nine break away from their shimmering reality, leaving behind malevolent anger, petty retributions, and moments of loss and confusion. And a whole lot of fucking.

Mac isn’t quite sure how they ended up here again. Okay, well, he does know. And he knows he probably has his own dick to blame for it. But here they are. He’s pissed at Dennis. He comes bursting into the room, guns blazing, ready to fucking go off on him for yet another act he feels Dennis had done him wrong. But then Dennis gets his hands and his lips on him and it’s like everything else just melts away… and Mac stops thinking with his big boy brain.

Then it restarts again. It’s a cycle that he can’t seem to pull himself out of.

And Dennis. Goddamn intoxicating Dennis, with his mood swings and bouts of rage that seem to come out of nowhere, yet Mac can’t find it in himself to turn away. It’s like staring into the sun. Maybe the bastard really is the golden god.

Dennis acts like an ass on a good day. Recently though, he seems to be taking it to a whole new level.

It’s been eight miserable days since Dennis first asked him to put his dick up his ass. For some inexplicable reason that’s beyond Mac’s comprehension, Dennis has taken it upon himself to swing into another one of his moods.

In the past, Mac would usually steer clear of it. Ignore it, stay cool, and just let the storm pass. It's not his problem that the slightest misstep in life sends Dennis Reynolds off the deep end. 

But he figures since they’re a couple now, maybe he should be putting in more of an effort to figure the other man out. What he gets in return is bitter remarks, the cold shoulder, and stood up on dates.

Dee had the audacity to laugh in his face when he came into Paddy’s, pissed off and going off. It was the third morning in a row that Dennis had left the apartment without him. He had to take the damn bus to get to the bar.

“It’s  _Dennis_ ,” Dee sneered at him. “What did you expect? This is what he does. You know this.”

“No, no! No, no, no.” Mac had rudely waved a finger in her face before stomping into the back office, where Dennis was surely pretending to be preoccupied with some meaningless task. He was ready to demand answers. He was screaming. He was furious. And then somehow, he got all turned around. The next thing he knew, the other man was on his knees with his cock in his mouth. He’s only a little bit ashamed about the mess they made over the paperwork that Dennis  _definitely_ wasn’t looking at.

Because while Dennis may have been pulling away emotionally, sexually, they’ve been more active than ever. Mac has never had so much sex in his life. It’s beyond his wildest imagination. He can barely keep up with the other man! And it’s rarely tender, though he’s not exactly complaining. The sex is rough and hard and fast, just the way they like it. Dennis might avoid every conversation, but he can’t seem to evade any opportunity to get off.

On more than one occasion, Mac wakes up with a start and a finger in his ass. Once he realizes what’s happening, he makes a mental note to have a conversation with Dennis about boundaries, right before they move on to bigger things in his ass. Of course, that conversation never happened. When his dick is satisfied, all the other problems suddenly feel less important.

Yet, Dennis can’t seem to get away from him quick enough as soon as the afterglow fades. And this only makes Mac cling even harder. He's indignant and pissed off. He curses his own desperation before stubbornly concluding that Dennis is the one being an asshole here. Dee was right, he really shouldn’t be surprised.

Their last confrontation was vicious and brutal in a way Mac should have expected, but it still knocked him off his feet. Literally. And maybe he crossed a line, though he’d never admit it out loud.

“What is going on with you?” Mac had dragged the other man around by his wrist, stopping him from leaving the apartment, as had been his M.O.

Dennis harshly tugged his arm out of his grip, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Why are you acting like this? I'm so sick of your bullshit!”

Dennis’ eyes were dull in a way that incites rage in Mac’s chest. There’s nothing he hates more than being ignored, and he won’t stand to see Dennis walk away from another conversation.

“What is going on with you?” He hissed. “Are you off your meds again?”

Dennis’ open palm connected with the side of his face. The force of the hit snapped his head to the side and he stumbled back a step, his palm flying up to cover his stinging cheek. He glanced up in shock to see the sheer, terrifying rage on the other man’s face. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight. But he braced himself for what came next.

The ended up fucking on the couch.

Dennis’ hands wrapped around his throat, and Mac held on for dear life, brilliant blue eyes locked on his, as the other man rode his cock until both their eyes were rolling back into their heads and they saw nothing but stars.

They were left panting, gasping, and whimpering on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. Mac doesn’t need to see them to feel the deep scratches that were left on his neck and shoulders. Just the way Dennis likes him.

Mac never did apologize for what he said. And he kind of feels like a dick about it.

He could have said he was sorry. That’s just not in his nature. But surely, the better way to go is a grandiose gesture that would show how formidable a partner he is and gain Dennis’ favor. So he goes out of his way, empties his bank account and searches the deepest recesses of his meager technical ability to scour the dark web for something that would blow Dennis’ tits off. Figuratively, of course.

It took him ages to figure out how to properly use a VPN. But he did it. He was feeling pretty good about himself and his surprise. 

Then Dennis had to go and be a douchebag again.

And that’s how they end up where they are now.

Mac storms into their apartment. He’s furious and raging and he slams the door shut behind him when he sees Dennis casually sitting on the couch watching television. After being ditched on the other side of town, he’s ready to tear Dennis a new asshole. His clothes are soaked and his feet are frozen to the bone.

“What the fuck, dude?! When we go somewhere together, we should be  _leaving_ together. That’s just common courtesy, you  _dick!”_ Mac screams, as he throws his arms into the air. The other man doesn’t say a damn word. “What the hell, Dennis?! You just fucking left me there!”

Dennis shrugs at the TV, barely sending him half a glance.

“It was  _snowing_ , you asshole.” Mac seethes. He rips off his soaked jacket and throws it at the man on the couch. It hits Dennis in the chest with a wet  _sphlaat_.

Dennis jumps to his feet, letting the wet leather fall to the ground. “Goddamnit, Mac!” He curses.

Mac gapes at him. “ _You_  don’t get to be mad right now!  _I’m_ the one you ditched at Reading Terminal! I’m the one who’s pissed! What the  _hell_ is going on with you?”

Dennis glares and shrugs his shoulders again. “I was bored, and you were taking too long.”

“So you left  _without me_?!”

“Whatever,” says Dennis hoarsely.

“No, no.” Mac cuts him off harshly and steps in the other man’s path before he can attempt to walk away. “You’ve been acting weird all week, what's going on with you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You won’t talk to me, Dennis! You won’t goddamn talk to me! You ignore me, you’re leaving places without me! All we do is  _fuck_  and I feel like… god, I’m sick of feeling like I’m in a relationship with a brick wall!”

Mac’s fingernails dig painfully into his palms as his arms tremble with anger. He shakes his head tiredly. Dennis won’t even look at him, and the urge to continue the fight slowly drains out of him. “Fuck this,” he mutters, and he lets out a scoff. “Forget it. Goddamnit, Dennis.”

“Mac…”

“No, forget it. I’m not dealing with your bullshit! I’m fucking exhausted and I don’t even want to talk to you right now.” Mac turns and heads towards the bedroom. He tugs his t-shirt over his head as he goes, shivering as the cold air hits his skin. It does feel good to be the one storming off for once.

“What are you doing?” Dennis’ voice follows him into the bedroom.

“I walked four miles, you piece of shit.” Mac hisses without turning around. “I’m cold, I’m tired, I’m talking a goddamn shower and getting blackout drunk. Now piss off.”

Out the corner of his eye, he sees Dennis lean against their doorway. The other man silently watches him as he changes out of his soaked jeans and wet socks. A part of him hoped Dennis would console him with a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. Or a beer. At the very least he thinks he’s owed an apology. But the other man stubbornly stays silent in the doorway. Mac silently curses him to the deepest pits of hell.

“What’s that?”

Mac glances up, then looks down at where Dennis’ eyes are fixated on his torso. “What?” Dark purple bruises litter across his hip bones, a band across his lower abdomen, disappearing under the waist of his boxer briefs. He knows if he were to look underneath them, he’d find fingerprint bruises spread around his hips. “Oh. It’s from yesterday, when you fucked me against the counter.”

It was a really good fuck. They have a lot of really good fucks in the kitchen.

“Looks painful,” Dennis murmurs. Something about his tone sends shivers down Mac’s spine. Dennis’ eyes are as dark as the discoloration on Mac’s flesh.

Mac narrows his eyes as he watches him. “It’s really not,” he says slowly. He’d hardly even noticed it. “I mean…” His voice trails off when he recognizes the lust in the other man’s gaze. Dennis’ tongue slowly swipes across his bottom lip.

Here they go again.

Dennis approaches, only stopping when he’s mere inches away. He reaches out a hand and presses it hard against Mac’s injured flesh. His thumb digs painfully against the darkest center of the bruise and Mac lets out a soft hiss. “Does that hurt?” Dennis’ voice has taken on the cold, dark measure of a calculated man.

Mac bites his bottom lip as he watches him. Dennis’ body radiates heat, and he inches ever so slightly closer to the warmth. Like something so dangerous, yet completely intoxicating. “You like that?” Mac whispers, in lieu of answering the question.

“It’s hot.” Dennis’ eyes, still locked on his torso, are burning with lust.

“I think you get off on hurting me.” There’s no accusation in his voice. He says it like a stray observation and Dennis neither denies nor takes offense to it. Sharp blue eyes fly up to meet his own.

“You wanna find out?”

Mac shudders in anticipation. Fingers ghost over his stomach before pushing him towards the bed. “Dennis,” Mac gasps as he collapses onto their mattress. Dennis follows into his arms, and his words die in his throat when the other man’s weight settles on top of him. He arches up as Dennis forcefully brings their lips together. Teeth graze sharply against his lips, and a tongue presses into his mouth. He moans, feeling Dennis grind down on his lap.  _“Goddamn.”_

Dennis groans as Mac’s hands tug at his clothes. He lets out a breathy laugh as the other man’s impatience rips a button off his shirt. “Take your goddamn clothes off,” Mac says roughly.

Dennis complies as quickly as he can, and he makes a sound of satisfaction when his cock is released from the confines of his pants. He kicks them to the floor. By the time he falls back between Mac’s legs, the other man is naked and shoving a bottle of lube into his hands.

“Hurry up,” Mac insists, his heart pounding in his ears.

Dennis hums in agreement. His eyes linger on Mac’s body, spread out before him in open invitation. He lifts the other man’s thigh and drags his fingers until they find the clenching rim of Mac’s ass.

Mac gasps and throws his head back when he feels two slicked fingers pressing inside him. Dennis is quick to find his prostate, curling his fingers just right to leave him bucking and keening. He gives a few thrusts, just enough to stretch him out and no more. Mac whines when the fingers leave his body, leaving him cold and empty. Replaced a second later with Dennis’ cock, as the other man pushes into him without any warning or tenderness.

Mac lets out a choked sob as his head drops heavily to the bed. Dennis’ cock is a lot bigger than two fingers and his body stretches around him. His eyes are squeezed shut against the initial pain of being filled. He groans as he slowly adjusts to the burn.

_“Fuck.”_

“Does that hurt?”

Fingers close around his wrist, lifts it above his head, and pins it into the mattress. Mac hisses out an uneven breath as his fingers slowly curl around Dennis’. Yeah, of course it fucking hurts.

Dennis breathes heavily above him as he begins to thrust in and out of Mac’s body. He grunts and moans, biting his lip to stifle the sounds as he rests his forehead against Mac’s. The other man feels so good, so  _tight_ and hot. He gives a particularly hard thrust and Mac gasps against his lips. Mac arches from the bed when his cock brushes against his prostate.  _“Fuck, Dennis-”_

Dennis scatters soft kisses against Mac’s cheek as he continues to fuck him.

_“Oh god, Den-”_

“Tell me to stop.”

Mac’s eyes fly open in confusion. “What?”

Dennis pants heavily above him. His eyes are sharp as he stares down at him. “Tell me to stop,” he orders.

“What are you talking about?” Mac chokes on another silent sob as Dennis snaps his hips forward again. “Dennis, I don’t want you to stop-”

“Just do it,” Dennis growls between his teeth.  

Mac pauses. And then he does as he’s told. “Stop.”

Dennis moans heavily through his teeth. He thrusts once, hard and deep into Mac’s body. The force of it slides them back a few inches on the sheets. Mac’s breath is caught in his throat. His brow is furrowed in confusion, and he lets out a sound between a whimper and a gasp when Dennis fucks him even harder.

_“Ahh!”_

Holy shit.

“Oh!”

Dennis' groans are ravenous. His eyes are closed as breathless gasps escape from his lips. Mac stares up with bright eyes roaming over the other man’s face, as his legs wrap tighter around Dennis’ hips.

“Stop, Dennis,” Mac whispers.

Dennis’ eyes flutter open at the words, and he only speeds up the pace of his hips which leaves them both gasping for air. Mac’s free hand grips his ass, pulling him closer. He’s sure to find a Mac-shaped handprint on his cheek after this is over.

_“Say it again.”_

_“Stop, fuck-Dennis! Please, stop…”_

Dennis groans the other man’s name. He presses a wet kiss against Mac’s lips. “Oh god, Mac.” His voice is hoarse and strained. “Does it hurt?”

Mac makes a soft whimpering sound. He arches up from the bed, eager to press their lips together again. “Yeah. Yeah, it hurts.” He murmurs against him.

Dennis swallows thickly. He growls, deep in his throat as his fingers dig into Mac’s flesh. He lifts his head. His eyes are dark and hard as he watches the man beneath him. “You want me to stop?”

Mac nods weakly. “Please, stop… Dennis…” The other man gasps heavily above him. Mac bites his lip, shuddering as their eyes lock. Dennis’ hand shifts, and with shaky movements their fingers intertwine next to Mac’s head. Mac gasps when Dennis’ cock buries itself deep in his body again. His lips fall open and he lets his eyes go wide in a silent plea. The soft whimpers he makes are indistinguishable between pain or pleasure, and that seems to drive the other man closer to the edge.

He doesn’t think too hard about why Dennis is getting off on fucking him like this.

“Do you want me to stop?” Dennis whispers against his lips. He wraps a hand around Mac’s cock and pumps him slow and heavy.  _“Tell me… do you want me to stop?”_

Mac lets out a shuddering gasp when Dennis squeezes his cock. Just a few strokes, he’s  _so close…_  “No,” he finally breathes softly, and then he’s emptying himself between them with a groan. He catches Dennis’ bottom lip between his teeth and bites down hard enough to incite a yelp of pain.

Dennis roughly presses their lips together as he comes hard and with a heavy groan. He cries softly as his climax washes over him. He loses his balance, falling on top of the other man and the warm, wet stickiness between them. One of Mac’s hands buries itself in his sweaty hair and he closes his eyes to the sensation of fingers running across his scalp.  

A moment passes as they slowly catch their breath.

Mac is the first to speak. “You know I’m stronger than you, right?” He mumbles. "I'm so much stronger than you…"

Dennis chuckles softly, not moving from his position with his head resting in the crook of Mac’s neck. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I know.”

“I could’ve made you stop anytime I wanted to.”

“But you didn’t,” Dennis whispers.

Mac swallows and blinks heavily. “I didn’t want to.” He takes a shaky breath made harder with the man lying heavily on his chest, still buried inside him. “Are we gonna talk about why this gets you off?”

“Nope.”

“Are we gonna talk at all?”

“Nope.”

Mac rolls his eyes tiredly. There’s a brief pause before he brings his other hand down to gently rest on the other man’s back. “Kind of a fucked up fantasy, don’t you think?” He asks casually. “I didn’t think I’d be into it, but… it really got me going.”

Dennis finally raises his head and narrows his eyes at Mac. “What kind of fantasies  _do_  you have?” He demands suspiciously.

Mac grins. “Oh, you know…  _normal_ ones,” he says with a chuckle. “I thought about a three-way with Cowboy and Felder once…”

Dennis snorts and gives him an incredulous look. “The UFC guys you met?”

“Yeah, sure. Total beefcakes, dude.”

Dennis rolls his eyes. “In your dreams, maybe.” He chuckles before eventually raising his eyebrows, his face gleaming in an unspoken challenge. “A three-way, huh?”

Mac grins as he continues. “This one time, I dreamt about Chase Utley taking me out to a romantic dinner on the water.”

Dennis blinks. “How is that a sexual fantasy?”

“Oh, we bang,” Mac says quickly. “We totally bang.”

Mac grins widely, and after a moment Dennis finally gives in with a grin of his own. “Get off me, dude.” Mac softly pats him on the back.

“No,” Dennis murmurs, before laying his head back down on Mac’s chest. He closes his eyes, listening to the sound of Mac’s heart thumping beneath him. He breathes softly, enjoying the feeling of the other man’s limbs still wrapped around him. “Not yet.”

Mac sighs gently. The only time Dennis seems to like him is after sex. He grins softly and lets it go.

“Dennis?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you pulling away from me?”

Dennis doesn’t answer the question. He doesn't answer him at all.

Mac silently runs his fingers through Dennis’ messy hair. He thinks maybe they’re okay for now. Maybe they’re just good enough the way they are. He knows he’s never been a clever man. If he were smarter, he’d know the things he doesn’t see. And that the same things he ignores, could be what tears them apart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Certain things in Dennis' life may be coming to a head. Dennis decides there's something he wants from Mac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: erotic asphyxiation.

_“Brian, why won’t you ever give me a straight answer?”_

“It’s… it’s just not the right time.” 

_“Is it ever going to be the right time?”_

“Things are… complicated.” Dennis bites down painfully on his bottom lip as he paces around the small office. He’s careful to keep his voice low as he continues. “My work schedule has been so hectic lately-”

_“You say that every time. And if you can’t make it out here, you know Junior and I can hop on a plane, even if it’s just for a weekend. Money isn’t so tight now with my mom helping us out.”_

“No, no!” Dennis says quickly. Panic grips his chest as he struggles to keep his voice calm. “No, no, don’t do that! I don’t want to inconvenience you! And if you’re going to make the long trip all the way out here, it should definitely be for more than just a weekend! I just… I just gotta find the time off work, that’s all,” he finishes with a manic chuckle.

“Alright…” Mandy sounds reluctant over the line, but Dennis lets out a soft sigh of relief. “If you say so, Brian…”

“I’ll… I’ll try to work something out,” Dennis manages. He pauses for a second. “You got the check that I sent, right?”

_“Yeah. And I appreciate the help, I really do. But I want my boy to meet his father. I know you’re uneasy about it. You don’t hide it nearly as well as you think you do. Don’t you want to meet your son? Even if it’s just once?”_

Something hitches in his throat. “Of course, I do!” Dennis says as smoothly as he can. Does he want to meet his son? The answer is more complicated than the words he speaks. He sees a mental picture of his son playing with blocks. The ones that come in all different shapes that you’re supposed to fit through the correctly sized hole in a bucket. Mandy had sent him a video of little Brian Jr. playing with his new toy. It was heartwarming to watch. But when faced with the idea of being there, and meeting this child in person… that’s not something he ever wants to deal with. 

And how is he supposed to admit to this woman that almost every word he’d ever said to her had been a lie? How is he supposed to tell her that her child is named after a corpse in an alley?

Far more importantly, taking care of a child and putting in the effort to be in their life is simply too much work for him. Why would he subject himself to that kind of needless agony if he can help it? 

He hears a commotion behind him. 

“I gotta go,” Dennis says in a rush. “I’ll let you know once I work something out.”

_“Okay, Brian. Bye-”_

He hangs up the phone just as Dee pushes open the door to the office. She looks surprised to see him alone and narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Who were you talking to?”

Dennis thinks fast.

“Mechanic,” he says as casually as he can. “Range Rover’s sounding funny. Might need to take her back for more repairs. Just gotta find the time,” Dennis chuckles a bit too forcefully. “Busy, busy, busy!”

Dee doesn't look like she’s buying it. “Riiight,” she drawls. “Why are you acting weird?”

Dennis snorts. “Don’t worry about me. What was all that shouting out there?” He nods his head towards the door.

Dee rolls her eyes at his pathetic attempt at deflecting, but doesn’t care enough to question him. “Just Sean and Charlie going at it again.”

Dennis lets out a heavy groan. “Why do you bother bringing that guy here? Is it just because you like the attention? That’s pathetic, Dee.”

Dee smirks and makes a show of flipping her hair. “ _Two_ guys crushing over me? I’m livin’ it.”

“Jesus christ, just dump the guy already,” Dennis mutters. “Charlie’s clearly enamored with you. Don’t know how you managed to pull that one off. But this is annoying as hell to be around! He’s in here every other day! Just dump the guy!”

“He buys me things,” Dee says with a casual shrug. “Charlie’s broke as shit.”

“Let me guess, boyfriend’s also great in bed,” Dennis sneers. “Dee, you whore.”

“No,” Dee says, after a beat. “He’s actually not that great in the sack.” She shrugs her shoulders lazily. “Mediocre at best.”

“Huh.” Dennis raises his eyebrows. “Well, that sucks for you. God knows I’d be miserable if I was getting bad dick.”

“Screw you,” Dee growls. “Your life is already miserable. I’m sure Mac probably has his hands full with you, right? I mean, you’re a lot to manage on a good day, so…”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t scared him off yet,” Dee says snidely. “Although, knowing Mac… you could probably kill his dog and he’d still forgive you the world,” she tilts her head and gives him a smirk.

A moment passes as Dennis seethes. “You really think that’s true?” He finally asks hesitantly.

“What?”

“You really think Mac would forgive me anything?”

Dee scoffs, disappointed that Dennis had taken their exchange of insults a different turn. “Forgive might be the wrong word,” she says eventually. “Delude himself into a happy ending is more like it.”

Dennis is silent as Dee’s sharp eyes bore into him. 

“Come on,” Dee laughs when he doesn’t say a word. “All Mac’s done his entire life is lie to himself. His father is a murderer who eats people, and Mac likes to act like the guy gave him the perfect childhood. You’re practically a walk in the park compared to Luther.” She shakes her head at Dennis’ closed off expression. “God, talk about miserable,” she drawls. “The guy’s whole life is a lie.”

Dennis drops his gaze. “Just between you and me… it’s pretty pathetic, huh?”

“Are you kidding? Of course, it’s pathetic! It’s _Mac._ ”

Dee laughs obnoxiously until she catches the grim expression on her brother’s face. “Oh, please don’t tell me you plan on testing his limits or something,” she pleads, the mirth dropping from her voice. “God, that’s messed up, even for you.”

“Of course not,” Dennis murmurs, straightening and not quite meeting her gaze. “I gotta go. Move, you bitch.” He brushes past Dee without another word. 

No, he definitely has no plans to do any of that. 

* * *

He finds Mac back at their apartment lounging on the couch, stuffing his face with cheesy loops and watching a documentary on jungle cats.

Dennis stares at the sight, completely baffled. “ _This_ is what you decided to take the day off to do?”

Mac looks just as surprised to see him. He protests when Dennis grabs the remote and turns off his program. “Hey, I was watching that!” Mac struggles to sit upright and in his moment of distraction, Dennis grabs the bag out of his hands. “My cheesy loops!”

“You’ve eaten more than enough of those,” Dennis berates him. When he gets the chance, he has plans to purge their apartment of all the junk food Mac insists on keeping around. “Don’t want you getting pudgy now, do we?”

“I still… go to the gym,” Mac manages. But this does little to appease the other man. “What are you doing back so early, anyway?”

Dennis shrugs and steps closer to the couch. “I was thinkin’ of you?”

Mac raises his eyebrows and beams. “Oh, yeah? That’s nice to hear.” His demeanor quickly shifts and soon he’s grinning ear to ear. 

Dennis climbs fluidly into his lap. He makes himself comfortable straddling Mac’s thighs as he murmurs, “I was thinking about your cock.” His lips curl into a smirk and he can’t even be bothered to complain about Mac getting his cheesy dust covered fingers all over his pants. 

“Oh!” Mac’s getting more aroused by the second as he bites his lip, looking up at the man sitting in his lap. This is a pleasant mid-day surprise that he wasn’t expecting. “Oh, well that’s nice too.” He’s practically glowing as he grabs the other man by the lapel of his shirt, pulling Dennis down into a kiss. 

Dennis growls into Mac’s mouth as their lips mash together. It’s a horribly messy kiss, and yet it’s somehow infuriatingly good. Kissing Mac always is. He grinds down, moaning softly as his cock comes to life, uncomfortably compressed in his pants. He’s already reaching for his belt just as Mac goes for the hem of his own shirt, pulling it up and over his head.

With a grunt, Mac forcefully pushes him off his lap. They shed their clothes. Dennis’ eyes ghost over Mac’s face as he pushes his pants to his knees, kicking them off and to the side. Mac’s lips are wet and swollen, so tempting as he grins, falling back onto the couch again, completely naked with his arms wide open. 

For all Mac complains about hating the feeling of leather on his bare ass when they fuck on the couch, he sure seems eager for it, time and time again.

Dennis quickly resumes his earlier position and their mouths crash together again. He moans, grinding against Mac’s cock, pressed into the inside of his thigh, and he’s just getting a good momentum going when Mac pulls back just enough to manage words. 

“Why do you do that, dude?” Mac gasps against his lips. 

“What?”

Mac swallows. “Put your hands around my throat when we’re fucking.” 

Dennis glances down, and sure enough, he’s got both hands wrapped around the column of Mac’s neck. His fingers aren’t gripping hard enough to hurt, but they are only just getting started. 

“Do you get off on choking me?” Mac growls, narrowing his eyes. “It’s a little awkward to explain the marks.”

Dennis’ eyes flicker back up to meet Mac’s and he smirks. He's feels a rush of arousal as he hovers above the other man, and a surge of power as Mac’s warm flesh pulses beneath his palms. 

“Just about,” Dennis murmurs as he grinds down with his hips again. “Come on, I know you like it. You used to come home with scratches on your neck long before we ever started fucking.” 

Mac snorts and rolls his eyes. But he sobers quickly when Dennis’ slender fingers snake around his neck. He tenses as he looks up. Still, the blood pooled in his groin clouds his judgment. He’s more eager and less afraid than he should be. 

“Have you ever been choked during sex?” Dennis asks softly, as he gently runs his fingertips along Mac’s jugular. “Had someone wrap their hands around your neck, pressing down… hard enough so you can’t breathe, until you almost pass out?”

Mac takes just a second too long to answer. “N-no, of course not,” he stammers. 

Dennis narrows his eyes, mistaking Mac’s hesitation for a lie. His first instinct is a wave of jealousy before he manages to contain himself. “Was it the best orgasm of your life?” He asks, his voice low and dangerous. “Tell me, Mac.”

There’s a heavy pause. “It wasn't sex, dude.”

Dennis blinks in surprise. “Someone tried to choke you outside of sex?”

“Well, it-it wasn't… I-” Mac stutters and sighs, looking uncomfortable before trying again. “It happened a really long time ago… It was just some guy, he used to work with my dad. And my dad was gone, of course. So this guy comes around looking for him. He’s got beef or some shit, and he starts picking a fight with me. He wouldn’t leave and I… I was the man of the house, I had to defend our home!”  

Dennis frowns. He’d never heard this story before. “Defend your home? How old were you?”

Mac makes a face. “I think I was… thirteen or so, give or take? I kicked his fucking ass. It was totally badass, dude.”

Dennis doesn’t buy that for a second. “Sounds rough,” he mutters. 

Mac snorts. “Yeah, well, some of us _actually_ grew up in South Philly. You know, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns out here.” 

Dennis makes a grimace as he watches him. “So… what happened?”

“Oh, my mom broke a lamp over his head.”

“Dude, I think your mom saved the day,” Dennis says with a chuckle. 

“Well, you know how badass my mom is. Where do you think I get it from?”

“Were you scared?” Dennis asks seriously.

Mac makes a sound between a snort and a laugh. “Of course I wasn't scared!”

“You were thirteen.”

“I was _protecting my family_.”

Dennis furrows his brow. “It sounds like a guy almost choked you to death.” 

Mac scoffs. “Dude, if you’d ever been in a fight in your life, you’d understand. What I’m saying is, that if anybody tried to hurt me or my mom, I kicked their ass!”

Dennis frowns. “That’s not what it sounds like at all,” he says slowly.

“No, no, you weren't there, Dennis! You don't know-”

Dennis elegantly wraps a hand around Mac’s throat, cutting off any words the other man might have had. Mac tenses despite the lack of pressure in his touch. 

“So this doesn’t scare you?” Dennis asks softly.

Mac bites his lip as he looks up at him. “No,” he says stubbornly. 

A moment of silence passes as they stare into each other’s eyes, feeling the other’s warm breath on their lips. They slowly relax, the tension drains, and they simultaneously realize they’re both still naked, though their erections have waned. 

Dennis sighs and drops his forehead to rest against Mac’s. He slowly presses a kiss to Mac’s lips, one that Mac eagerly returns. It’s a tender moment, until Dennis says softly, “I want to choke you.”

Mac pulls back an inch and glares up at him. “You wanna what?” 

“I want to choke you.” Dennis bites his lip and leans over close before whispering in Mac’s ear, “I really, _really_ want to choke you.”

“Why the hell do you wanna do that?”

Dennis gives a small shrug. “Sometimes… sometimes I think our sex is a bit vanilla, and I wouldn’t mind trying something new. Something exciting, you know?” He smirks at the bewilderment on Mac’s face.  

Mac gapes at him, remembering how just yesterday in the bedroom, he’d let Dennis put things inside him that _definitely_ were never meant to go in assholes. “Vanilla? Did you really just call our sex _vanilla_?”

“There are always more ways to spice things up,” Dennis murmurs. His eyes flicker down to the column of Mac’s neck. “What’s wrong? Bad memories?”

“Of course not,” Mac whispers. “It just… sounds kind of dangerous.”

“I thought you liked dangerous.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I live for danger,” Mac boasts arrogantly, though the slight tremor in his voice-imperceptible to anyone who doesn’t know him as well as Dennis does-betrays him.

“It’ll be so good, for _both_ of us…” 

“How… how’s it work?”

“It’s called breath play,” Dennis explains softly, as his fingers linger on the other man’s neck. “Erotic asphyxiation. I’m going to compress, right here.” He presses his thumb and pointer finger against the sides of Mac’s neck, right over his carotid arteries. “It’s going to cut off oxygen to the brain, just a bit. I know what I’m doing.” The corner of Dennis’ lip twitches into a small smirk. “And you’ll feel light-headed. But it’s going to heighten everything, all your senses will be on fire… And when you cum… it’ll be the best damn orgasm of your life.”

Mac still looks skeptical. “The best orgasm of my life? Because my brain is deprived of oxygen?” 

“That’s right,” Dennis whispers. “And it’ll make me so happy… God, can you feel how much I want this?”

Mac raises an eyebrow as he tilts his head back. “Will you ride my dick?”

Dennis grins. He bites his bottom lip and nods quickly, unable to mask his eagerness. 

“Okay."

“Yeah?”

“Sure, you can choke me. If you ride my dick, you can do whatever the fuck you want. _Hhmp!”_ Mac cries when Dennis suddenly presses their lips together. He gasps for air when Dennis finally pulls back. “Hey, I’m not gonna pass out, right?”

Dennis smirks. “Are you scared?”

“No, of course not,” Mac grumbles. “I’m not scared of anything!”

“Do you trust me?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I trust you,” Mac whispers.

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“Whatever. Get on my dick, dude.”

Dennis plans to indulge him. He quirks an eyebrow, his expression wry, as he taps a finger against Mac’s lips. He gently presses his finger past Mac’s lips, and the other man obediently sucks on the digit, swirling his tongue around as Dennis watches, completely transfixed. 

“I’m gonna give you the ride of your life,” Dennis murmurs casually.

Mac gives a low moan and Dennis chuckles under his breath. He reaches behind him into the coffee table drawer, producing a bottle of lube. Mac watches with hooded eyes as Dennis squeezes a generous dollop onto his fingers. 

He brings his fingers around to his hole, quickly pressing his forefinger in as he lifts Mac’s chin with his other hand, and covers his mouth with his own. He kisses him sloppily as he trades one digit for two, stretching himself out as well as his own impatience will allow. 

Mac leans eagerly into the kiss. He presses his tongue past Dennis’ lips and Dennis tastes nothing but goddamn cheesy loops. He deems he’s had enough prep and pulls his fingers out of himself. He grabs the bottle again, and generously slathers the slick over Mac’s cock.  

Their breaths quicken. Mac moans softly as Dennis slowly jacks him off, bringing him to full hardness. His hands grip tightly around Dennis’ hips, and Dennis steadies himself with a grip on Mac’s shoulder. His other hand guides himself onto Mac’s cock. He lets his muscles relax and slowly, slowly his body opens up around him. He gasps and hisses when Mac is fully inside him. 

Mac chokes on his breath, letting his head fall back onto the couch behind him as he struggles not to immediately thrust his hips into the tight, hot heat of Dennis’ body. He blinks slowly. His breath comes out in short, desperate gasps. He only lifts his head when he feels Dennis slowly fitting his hand around his throat. Dennis pauses, giving him the opportunity to protest. He doesn’t say a word. He only groans when Dennis slowly lifts his hips up, only to bring them back down again, burying him to the base.

Dennis presses their lips together, cutting off Mac's stuttered moan. He kisses him softly, in stark contrast to the way his fingers tighten around his neck. Mac’s pulse thrums steadily beneath his fingers.

Mac makes a little noise when Dennis starts to squeeze. Just a bit at first, he’s only just testing him out. But Mac’s eyes widen. He looks up, torn between the pleasure of his cock buried so deep in Dennis’ body, and the eerie sensation of strong hands wrapped around his neck, screaming panic and danger. 

Mac feels like he just stepped into the Twilight Zone.

He makes a broken sound and gasps weakly, drawing small puffs of air into his lungs, even as Dennis’ fingers press harder. His lips hang open, until Dennis relaxes his grip, and Mac draws lungfuls of air as he wheezes.

“Too much?” Dennis whispers, not knowing if he would even stop if Mac said yes. 

But Mac gives a low, throaty moan when Dennis comes down on his lap again. His eyes are hooded and glassy when he speaks. “You can keep going.”

Dennis grabs him around the throat, harder than before. His fingers dig into Mac’s flesh, as the other man lets out a wheezing gasp for air. He thinks Mac might be protesting. But it’s hard to tell when the words get trapped in his throat. 

He sees pain and panic in Mac's eyes.

Mac’s hands scramble for purchase. He rakes his fingernails along Dennis’ shoulders as he struggles to draw air into his lungs. There's a pressure building in his head. He feels like he's submerged deep under water. There's nothing he can do but lie there, gasping and pawing weakly at Dennis' arms. 

Dennis moans softly before kissing Mac’s parted lips. He kisses him long and hard and the other man trembles beneath him. Mac makes soft choking noises, little high-pitched whines as his hands weakly grasp at his wrists. 

“Dennis,” Mac mouths silently. 

Dennis shakes and trembles as he watches him with dark eyes. Mac’s cock is buried so deep inside him. He gasps as he fucks himself on it. It brushes against his prostate, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through his extremities. He whispers the other man’s name in a heavy moan. Mac is beyond coherent words. Watching him with his head tilted back, his eyes glassy, and lips parted in delirium, Dennis is struck by a clarity that he’s never had before. 

“I got you,” Dennis murmurs. “I got you, baby.”

Mac’s chest burns from the lack of air in his lungs. His head feels like it might explode. He manages a ragged whimper as his vision blurs. The room spins and little black spots speckle his vision of Dennis. Everything is too bright yet going dark all at once. He weakly drags his fingernails against Dennis’ thigh before his hands fall limp to his sides. He thinks Dennis might be kissing his lips. 

Dennis groans heavily. He grunts as he continues to move his hips to a steady rhythm. Mac spasms beneath him, and for a terrifying second Dennis thinks he might be passing out. But his eyes only just roll up into his head. Dennis loosens his fingers and a soft whimper sounds from Mac’s throat. He shudders as he starts to cum. Dennis grips him tight, holding him close, experiencing every bit of Mac’s orgasm as warm streams of semen fill his insides and he clenches around him.  

Dennis squeezes his eyes shut as he cums. He didn't even have to touch his cock. He buries his face against Mac’s cheek, listening as the other man still struggles to draw rough breaths of air. When he’s able, he lifts his head, and he swallows Mac’s soft moans with gentle kisses as he slowly comes back. Dennis kisses his pliant lips again and again. 

“I got you,” Dennis whispers into Mac’s ear. “I got you, baby. I’m never gonna let you go. Never,” he gasps.

He doesn’t even know if Mac is capable of hearing him right now. His eyes are closed and his head fallen back. He trembles as he continues to pant harsh breaths. Mac croaks softly, testing his throat, sore and tender. 

Dennis bites his lip as he watches him. Livid, red marks wrap around his neck. Mac is a glorious sight to behold. 

“You okay?” Dennis murmurs, still appreciating the view. “God, You’re so good, baby. You’re so good.”  

Mac grunts, the sound hoarse and low in his throat. “Dennis, you bastard,” he slurs softly. “That was badass.”

Dennis grins. He slowly runs his tongue over the other man’s dry lips. He smirks, tasting salt on his tongue. 

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you…” Dennis whispers against him like a mantra. 

Mac chuckles, low and warm. His dazed eyes finally flicker open as he grins softly at him. All at once, Dennis wants to scream and shout and kiss him ‘til the end of days. Goddamn, he wishes his brain had an off button. 

“I think you killed me,” Mac whispers, a slight smirk on his lips. 

Dennis bites his tongue. He pleads silently. “Did you see god?”

“Hm,” Mac smiles. “Close enough.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One step forward, two steps back.

“Where is everyone?”

Dennis looks up from his phone. It must be the ugly scowl on her face that has him straightening in his seat. He immediately pockets the device and shrugs, clearly blowing her off as he wordlessly takes a drink from his beer. “No idea,” he replies lazily. “They’re around somewhere.”

Dee seethes and glares daggers at her brother. Her jaw twitches as she grits her teeth and Dennis frowns as the sight. “I think Charlie might be cleaning the bathroom,” he finally says.

Dee whirls around and strides towards the bathroom. On some level, she knows that she’s a lit fuse burning hot. At the moment, she hasn’t got the energy to care. Sean’s been pissing her off. Of course she had to find the most annoying,  _useless_  man in the world to catch Charlie’s attention. It was always easier when she didn’t give a damn. But lately, it’s not been so easy.

And now Charlie’s ignoring her texts. It’s infuriating in a way she hadn’t quite expected. She’s going to tear him a new asshole.

Dee growls when she throws open the door to the ladies’ room and finds it empty.

She narrows her eyes, practically fuming from the ears when she swings open the door to the men’s room and hears a familiar voice drifting towards her.

_“Gonna wear a nice shirt, maybe some slacks… Clean. Gotta be a clean shirt… no pit stains because classy women find that unattractive. Gonna take her some place nice, some place to impress her. She’ll definitely say yes, and I’ll be all like, we can move forward, we can have a life together, we can be happy. It’ll be something real and it’s everything you ever wanted! Yeah, yeah… she’ll definitely come around…”_

Dee peaks around the corner. Her lips twitch as the fury that had been steadily building inside her drains when she sees Charlie speaking to himself, holding a broom out with one hand and talking to it like a person. It’s almost endearing in a dumb, hopeless sort of way.

“Charlie?”

The other man jumps and whirls around in shock.

“What are you doing?” Dee asks, bemused, as Charlie nearly drops the broom.

“Dee!” Charlie’s face lights up with a grin. “Hey, nothing, I was just… messing around, cleaning the bathrooms, you know…” He has enough wits to look embarrassed, at least.

“Right…” Dee smirks. “Just cleaning the bathrooms…”

“Well, I’m tryin’ to stay out of the drama too,” Charlie nods his head towards the door. “Mac is being annoying as shit. Frank called him the F-word and they’ve been screaming at each other in the office for like two hours. The guy won’t let it go.”

That explains the muffled shouts she heard. But it’s not something she cares enough to get involved in. She tilts her head as she considers Charlie’s flushed expression. “It kind of sounded like you were going to ask someone out…”

“Oh, yeah. Um… just practicing.” Charlie shuffles on his feet as his hands wring around the handle of the mop. He gives her an embarrassed grin. “You know, tryin’ not to get my nerves twisted in a bunch.”

“Charlie…” She starts softly, her tone soothing and calm, despite how she’s screaming internally at their progress. “I don’t think you need to be all that nervous,” she offers gently.

“Yeah?”

“Well, by this point, you know… it shouldn’t be that big of a deal…” She gives him a soft smile to let him know it’s okay.

It goes clear over Charlie’s head. “I don’t know,” he responds distractedly. “I think she still kind of hates me. I mean, I’m not giving up, that’s for sure. But… you gotta be prepared for rejection, you know?”

The smile instantly drops from her face. Her heart thuds heavily in her chest as the realization dawns on her, nearly knocking her off her feet. “What?” Dee growls hoarsely. “Are you talking about the Waitress?”

“Well, yeah!” Charlie blinks at her in confusion. “Who else would I be talking about?”

“Are you kidding me?” Dee hisses through her teeth. “The goddamn  _Waitress_?! I can’t believe this!” She screams. Her anger flares dangerously as she throws her arms in the air. This is what she gets for trying. She’s so  _tired_  of trying. She’s tired of  _caring._ “I can’t believe I actually thought you could change!”

“What are you talking about?” Charlie blusters, frowning at her in shock and bewilderment. “Why are you so pissed right now?”

_“Are you dumb?”_

Charlie blinks but doesn’t answer.

“Are you  _blind?”_ Dee screams at him.

Charlie blinks a few more times as if to check for sure. “No. No, I am definitely seeing out of both eyes.”

“So then… just dumb?” Dee accuses as her eyes flash icily. “You son of a bitch.”

Charlie’s frown grows deeper as he slowly puts the pieces together. “Wait, are you… are you mad because I’m going after the Waitress?” Dee’s feral growl is all the answer he needs. “But I’m in love with her! You know that!”

“You don’t even know her name!” Dee shouts.

Her anger is dangerous, and she wants to scream and bite and throw wild fists. But what she does instead is storm forward, closing the distance between them as she takes Charlie’s face in her hands and presses their lips together. Her momentum forces him back against the stall behind him. They kiss and grind and there’s a lot more teeth than either of them would prefer. But Charlie’s hands rest warmly around her waist, and they’re both panting by the time they part.

“You’re not in love with her,” Dee growls against his lips. “You’re in love with the idea of her. If you actually got to know her at all, you’d drop her in a damn heartbeat.”

Charlie swallows heavily. “Well… yeah.”

It’s Dee’s turn to blink in confusion. “What?” She whispers heatedly, hating the way she allows a faint glimmer of hope to light in her chest.

“I know that… I’ve always known that,” Charlie answers bluntly. “But she’s never going to say yes to me. And… that’s kind of the point.”

Dee slowly relaxes her grip on Charlie’s face. Something in his words is breaking through her anger. “Then why are you chasing her?” She asks. She frowns when Charlie winces. “Why have you been chasing her for the past decade and a half?”

The tension in Charlie’s shoulders drains as he shrugs. “She’s safe.” He pauses. And then a beat later, he continues. “Chasing her felt like a purpose. Knowing that she would never say yes to me… it was safe.”

The implication behind Charlie’s words is clear. “And me?” Dee finally asks. “I don’t feel safe to you?”

“You’re different,” Charlie murmurs.

“Different how?”

“It’s…” Charlie shakes his head reluctantly. “It’s too real.”

Dee slowly drops her hands as she forces herself to back off. She hears the undertone of fear and apprehension in Charlie’s voice. “I get it,” she says wryly. “It’s okay, Charlie.”

“It’s good with you,” Charlie manages. “But I don’t know if…”

They both drop their gaze as his voice trails off. Dee takes a half-step back. She lets out a slow breath, not meeting his eyes until a hard expression is firmly placed back on her face.

“It’s okay,” she says again, her voice stronger this time. They had their fun. And she’ll be damned if she comes out of this looking like the weak one when it’s Charlie who’s too coward to move forward. “Don’t worry about it, Charlie.

“Sorry,” he mutters. And his lips hang open like he might have more to say, but Dee shakes her head to cut him off.

“I’m breaking up with Sean,” she says suddenly.

Charlie’s mouth snaps shut. He raises his eyebrows, quickly going from awkward and uncomfortable to curious with mild hesitation.

“The guy’s an asshole,” Dee says simply. She scowls and takes another step back. Right on time, saving her from whatever moment they’re having, she hears Sean’s annoying voice filter through the bathroom door.

She turns on her heel without another word.

Her eyes are bright with anger when she enters the main room of the bar. Her emotions are still running high as she takes in the sight of her brother smirking at her asshole of a boyfriend. Sean leans against the bar, giving Dennis a look that is far too flirtatious for comfort. She’s dealt with months of this douchebag’s behavior, and it was all for nothing. Her nails dig painfully into her palms. Why did she ever think this was a good idea?

_“It’s over, dick nose. Lose my number.”_

“W-what?!” Sean stutters, looking up in shock. He blinks rapidly, looking like it’s a real struggle to process her words. “Babe-”

Dennis snorts and has the decency to turn away to hide his grin.

Dee rolls her eyes. Ignoring the pitiful protests that reach her ears, she walks away in a huff.

There’s an awkward moment as Charlie watches her go. He thinks for a second maybe he should go after her. But he knows she’d rather be alone. And if he did… he might actually get his head bitten off.

Confused sputters and muffled snickers reach his ears. Charlie looks over to see Dennis peeking his head up. He looks like he’s about to say something to the recently dumped when the moment is interrupted by the office door swinging open with a bang. Out storms Mac, going off hot like a gun.

“Dennis, we’re leaving!” He shouts, righteous anger apparent on his face.

“What?”

“Frank’s being a dick!” Mac clarifies. He nods his head desperately towards the door, barely pausing in front of him. “Let’s go!”

Dennis turns his head away, rearranging his face into a scowl.

“Let’s go, come on!” Mac whines when Dennis doesn’t move.

The other man seems quite insistent about spending the rest of the evening sitting his ass at the bar, getting plastered. Charlie actually thinks that’s not a terrible idea. He sighs softly to himself as he grabs a bottle from behind the bar. Dennis nods at him, a cue to pass him another beer.

“I’m quite comfortable here, Mac. The bar’s empty and I’m only just getting a buzz on.”

“I don’t care!” Mac announces, his words loud and firm. “I want to leave, let’s go!”

“Dude…” Charlie starts, feeling exhaustion burn through his veins like acid. The last thing he wants is to be witness to yet another argument. “Just let it go-”

“Come on,” Sean smoothly cuts him off. “He doesn’t have to go if he doesn’t want to. Hang out awhile. I wouldn’t mind a few beers myself.”

Charlie pulls a face at the thought of this guy hanging out with them. He’s half wondering why he’s even still at their bar when Dee obviously wants nothing to do with him. Dennis’ eyebrows casually go up. But it’s the look on Mac’s face that clearly says he would rather chew on broken glass.

Mac blatantly ignores him. “Dennis,” he forces through gritted teeth. His eyes flicker between his boyfriend and the guy that’s still standing far too close to him. “Can I talk to you in private?”

Dennis rolls his eyes tiredly, an unpleasant, bored expression planted on his face. “Mac, whatever you have to say, just say it.”

“Dennis, come on-”

“Just come out with it already!” Dennis slams his bottle onto the table making everyone jump. “Goddamnit, we go around in circles every goddamn time we have an argument because you can’t just come out and say what you want!”

Charlie’s stomach sinks heavily into his gut. He’s seen this argument enough times to know how it ends. Usually in violence. As Mac stubbornly refuses to back down and Dennis shifts from mood to mood too quick for anyone to keep up.

“Why didn’t you stand up for me?” Mac demands.

Dennis gives him an unimpressed look as he scoffs. “What?”

“What didn’t you stand up for me?” Mac throws him an angry look. “With Frank!” An eye roll and a snort from the other man has his blood boiling hot.

“Act like a man and stand up for yourself,” Dennis orders, his voice low with annoyance. “Talkin’ about bein’ so tough and badass all the time, and what, you need me to fight your battles for you?”

“No, that’s not what I was asking for!” Mac barks at him. “Goddamnit, Dennis! I just wanted some backup! And you’re gay! I figured you of all people would understand!”

Well, that might be the funniest thing Dennis has ever heard, judging from his reaction. “Since when?” Dennis snorts and chokes on a laugh.

Mac blanches. He stares, jaw dropped for a solid few seconds before he finds his words. “You like dick… you’re gay,” he says obviously.

“I like  _your_  dick,” Dennis clarifies slowly for him.

“Are you-are you being serious right now?” Mac sputters.

“Deadly.”

It becomes a silent battle of wills as they stubbornly glare with gritted teeth and clenched fists. Mac finally gives in by looking away first. He’s so clearly uncomfortable with the extra pairs of eyes on him that Charlie feels bad enough to drop his gaze. He pretends to busy himself with something behind the bar as Dennis swings around on his stool, giving Mac the cold shoulder.

“Dennis, can we just go?” Mac asks, his voice softer now, almost pleading.

“You can go, Mac. No one’s stopping you. I think I’m gonna hang around a bit. Finish my beer.” Dennis laughs, loud, obnoxious, and fake.

“Whatever,” Mac grumbles under his breath. He gnaws on his bottom lip before stomping off like a petulant child.

“Later, dude,” Sean says faintly after him, his eyes following as Mac storms out of the bar.

Charlie sighs after Mac had gone. “Come on, man.” He gives Dennis a disapproving glare. “You don’t have to be like that…”

They both ignore him.

“That’s your boyfriend?” Sean asks.

“Yeah.”

“Nice ass.”

Dennis chuckles, finally turning to look up at his sister’s ex-boyfriend with a crooked grin. “Yeah. It is, isn’t it?”

Charlie frowns at them over the bar. They pay him no attention as they clink their bottles together. He takes a slow drink of his own beer. He thinks Sean doesn’t look nearly disappointed enough at being newly single. And Dennis… well, Charlie is far too familiar with the look on his face. And he doesn’t like it.

He wonders what Dee’s up to. If she were here, she’d probably tell him the guys aren’t worth his time. He wasn’t exactly surprised that his two best friends started banging. He kind of expected it to happen sooner. But Mac isn’t any less annoying. And Dennis isn’t any less crazy.

What they are, is a slowly ticking time bomb.

Charlie sighs. He kind of really wishes Dee were here.

* * *

It’s three in the morning when Dennis steps into their darkened bedroom. He’s numb and content in a way only copious amounts of alcohol could offer him. He stumbles through the apartment. Vaguely, he feels the cold that seeps deep into his bones. He can practically see his breath,  _what the fuck._ He imagines himself wrapped in Mac’s arms, and it brings a crooked smile to his lips.

He knows Mac probably turned the heat down just to piss him off.

Mac is never cold, while Dennis is always freezing. They’re like two sides of a coin.

Dennis slowly creaks open the door of their bedroom. His eyes adjust to the dark, and he makes out the figure of Mac sleeping soundly in their bed. Alone. Something akin to sentimentality blooms on his face as he watches his best friend and lover sleep.

He doesn’t know what he had been expecting. Did he expect Mac to stay angry at him? To stay up, waiting for his return, waiting to throw another fit because Dennis ditched him? Or to look angry and restless in his sleep? To toss and turn, unable to find peace with the thought that Dennis is displeased with him?

Mac lies still and sound in his slumber.

Dennis softly pads over until he’s staring down at the man before him. Mac has the covers pooled around his waist. His bare chest rises and falls, slow and steady.

Mac has always been a heavy sleeper.

Air slowly escapes Dennis’ lips as he watches him with dark, hooded eyes. The thought that constantly plagues him, invades his restless mind again. Why does this man hold such power over him? He’s loathed to admit it, but he knows it’s true. He knows the things he’s done for Mac, the very dangerous things that terrify him to his core. 

Dennis swallows the lump in his throat.

It makes him angry. Admitting this weakness about himself, it makes him feel small. Helpless. Weak. Because this man, this stupid,  _idiot_ of a man, who annoys him with his habits, infuriates him with his choices, and constantly has him straddling the line between strangling him and kissing him–Dennis can’t let him go.

That’s the apex of their struggle. Not that Mac would ever admit it.

By far, the worst part is how much he needs him. Dennis  _hates_ how much he needs him.

His hand trembles as he reaches out. His fingers gently hook beneath the covers, and slowly, carefully he inches them down.

Mac doesn’t stir.

Dennis bites his lip as he continues to pull the covers down to Mac’s thighs. He takes in the sight of Mac’s cock, soft and flaccid. Heat inevitably pools downwards, and Dennis suddenly freezes in place.

What the hell is he doing?

His mind is hazy with alcohol. Desire and arousal lumped on top of that have his head spinning. A moment later, Dennis pulls his hand back. He sighs softly, suddenly feeling shaky on his feet.

He sheds his clothes as quietly as he can. One of his shoes thumps against the floor when he drops it, and he curses none too quietly to himself. But still, Mac doesn’t stir. Dennis shivers in the cold air, and he wastes no time crawling on top of the other man, eager to get close and beneath the covers where they can share their heat.

Mac jumps awake with a start and a gasp.

“Hey, babe.”

_“Wha… Dennis?”_

“Go back to sleep,” Dennis whispers.

“What are you doing? Why are you on my side of the bed?” Mac mumbles in his half-asleep state, and he refuses to scoot over to make room.

“Just wanna be close to you, that’s all.”

“Goddamnit, you’re cold," Mac hisses. 

Dennis grins at Mac’s groggy voice in his ear. “You’re the one who turned the damn heat off,” he replies.

“It’s not my fault you have no insulation.”

“Insulation?” Dennis whispers. “You mean fat?”

“It’s mass.”

Dennis chuckles. He entwines their legs. Despite how their bodies are already pressed together, he somehow manages to pull them even closer, much to Mac’s distress.

“No! No, don’t push me,” Mac protests in a whiny voice.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like feeling cold?” Dennis chides, pressing his cold feet against Mac’s and grinning when the other man jumps.

“Goddamnit, no! Stop!” Mac protests, unable to pull away. “I put itching powder all over your side of the bed,” he finally admits.

Dennis lifts his head to glare at him in the dark. “You what?”

“I was pissed at you,” Mac says frankly. ‘You’re a fucking asshole.”

Dennis shrugs, unwilling to argue. He sighs softly, wondering how the fuck they ended up here. He scoffs silently to himself. A moment later, he presses a kiss to Mac’s lips. The other man’s arms come up to wrap around him.

“Go to sleep,” Dennis whispers.

“M’kay.”

Dennis rests his head on Mac’s chest. His eyes close and he revels in the warmth of the other man’s body. He’s getting the spins. It’s a dangerous thing made worse when he can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from Mac.

He swallows the lump in his throat. Mac’s heartbeat pounds beneath his ear. His worst fear, and the one he’s starting to admit is a reality:

It’s definitely Mac.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac and Dennis both have a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: deception, non-con, Dennis Reynolds.

Mac doesn’t have a good reason for it. There’s no explanation, other than it feels  _right._ It makes sense.And most of the time, it’s easy.

For so much of his life, Mac had believed in a God that punished and imposed. So much of his faith was wrapped in shame and guilt. And surely there must always be consequences for disappointing God. The negative emotions and those rare moments of relief, whether it be a drunken make out in the dark corner of a bar, or a messy blow job in a hidden alleyway, they always came hand in hand.

Until it seemed he reached a tipping point, and there was no amount of guilt or shame or denial in the world that could overtake how  _good_ it felt to be out. For once in his life, he accepted a harsh truth about himself, and it felt like the weight of a thousand suns was lifted off his shoulders. He could be himself and just  _be._ It was like taking a lungful of air after breathing smoke his entire life.

It felt so good.

Until the doubt returned, and uncertainty crept back in. Because if there’s no guilt and no shame, does that mean there’s no God?

It’s still something that constantly lingers in the back of his mind.

Maybe that’s why he latched on so tightly to Dennis of late. For so many years, Dennis was just  _there._ They hardly ever left each other’s side. Dennis was an ever present whirlwind in his life. So angry and flawed, yet Mac never chooses another way.

Thankfully, on his worst days, the man is easy to ignore.

And that’s what Mac did for so long. He ignored his problems, because they weren’t his own. The crack and the mental issues and the bench warrants… Mac always looked the other way. The man is nearly forty years old, half the goddamn time he still doesn’t know how to fucking feed himself. Dennis spends more of his days screaming his lungs raw than Mac could stand to deal with. So he didn’t. And it worked really damn well for him.

And it seems like Dennis steadily stabilized, or maybe he simply accepted the fact that his life would never be as badass or awesome as Mac’s. Or perhaps Mac’s just kidding himself when he says Dennis has leveled off over the years.

Either way, pleasing Dennis, obeying Dennis, and worshipping  _Dennis_  became an easy way to fill the emptiness left behind by another God. It’s an eager distraction from the confusion and uncertainty surrounding his faith. It gives him a renewed sense of purpose. A direction. Dennis is a beacon in the dark. Or so he believed.

He never considered the idea that Dennis could be as lost as he is. And unfortunately… at some point, it simply became the blind leading the blind.

_“Have you been a bad boy?”_

Mac holds back a whimper and a groan when Dennis squeezes the front of his boxer briefs. He’s a glutton for Dennis’ specific brand of punishment. “Are you gonna hurt me?” Mac mumbles sarcastically, with an elegantly raised eyebrow that he knows will only piss Dennis off even more. The thought makes his pulse quicken. He might just be a goddamn masochist.

Dennis growls deep in his throat. “You’re gonna scream for me, yeah?” He leans over and rasps in Mac’s ear. “You’re so goddamn noisy when you don’t have a cock in your mouth.”

“I’ll scream if you want me to.”

Mac bites his lip before he spills any more. Even now, he still feels the instinct to appear anything but submissive.

But as Dennis grinds their hips together and Mac writhes beneath him, arching his back up from the mattress, holding onto every order that falls from Dennis’ lips… every dirty word, every silent, implicated threat if he doesn’t obey… he’s practically choking on his breath for more.

“What do you want?” Dennis asks him.

“Fuck me,” Mac demands softly. “Fuck me so hard, I can’t see straight.”

“You’re aching for it, aren’t you, dirty boy?” Dennis chuckles softly. He leers down at him, curling his fingers through his messy hair as he smirks, and Mac lets go of any notion of control he might have had. It’s exhilarating enough to let Dennis take the reins. And if it happens to be something Dennis needs, well, Mac is man enough to accommodate.  

“If your god could see you now…” Dennis pauses and bites his lip. His eyes drop, catching the moment when Mac’s breath hitches. “What would he say?”

Mac doesn’t answer. It’s a question he asks himself during every moment of uncertainty.

“Who do you belong to?” Dennis asks suddenly. His eyes are sharp as they search Mac’s face for an answer. “Tell me,” he demands. “Who do you belong to?”

His words have Mac reeling from déjà vu.

“You. I belong to you.” Mac swallows the lump in his throat. He doesn’t understand how this admission can simultaneously feel like a relief and a weakness. Nor can he explain why his heart pounds for more, while his gut churns in discomfort. He forces it down and muzzles the voice in his head screaming in distaste.

“You better fuck me before I get bored and find someone else,” he drawls. It’s a joke. A gibe to spur Dennis into motion, because there’s always  _so_ much preamble… and all he really wants is to get fucked.

But Dennis freezes. His eyes go cold as his face takes on a stony, dangerous demeanor. At this rate, Mac’s never going to get a dick up his ass.

“You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?” Dennis asks, his voice soft and steely. “You wouldn’t go looking for anyone else’s cock?”

Mac scoffs gently. “Of course not,” he reassures. But in the back of his mind, he thinks,  _if you didn’t insist on making each bang session a whole to-do, we wouldn’t be here right now, dick-hole._

Dennis doesn’t buy it.

“You’re such a fucking slut,” Dennis seethes. There’s that anger again. His fingers curl around Mac’s wrists. “You’re so desperate for cock… How many others have you had before me, huh?”

Mac rolls his eyes. He doesn’t resist as his arms are pulled up and pinned down into the mattress beside his head. “Enough,” he finally manages to say.

“Enough?”

“Enough that I’m not going around looking for other dick,” Mac hisses. He’s fed up with this routine. “Are you gonna fuck me already? I’m kind of losing wood over here.”

Dennis seems to settle down. “Quite a mouth on you,” he murmurs after a moment.

Mac stubbornly grinds his hips up, desperately eager to get on with it. “Why don’t you shut me up then,” he goads. “Go on.”

Dennis bites his lip. He leans down, and for a second Mac thinks it’s for a kiss, but the other man pauses, mere inches above him. “I have a better idea.” He pulls away and reaches into the drawer of their small bedside table. He returns with a familiar silk scarf in his hand.

“Again?” Mac’s voice cracks with anticipation.

“I like hearing the filthy sounds you make.”

Mac waits for a punchline, but Dennis had apparently finished speaking. The other man doesn’t say a word as he presses the blindfold against his eyes, carefully tying it behind his head without catching his hair in the process.

Mac feels the other man press a kiss to his lips before pulling away. His world has gone dark, and he’s left to rely on his other senses-something they’ve both found to be incredibly erotic in the past. He breathes heavily as he feels Dennis’ palms run down his chest. He hears the other man shuffling away and it leaves all his senses tingling for more.

Light fingers caress his hip bones before trailing down his thighs, and then leaving him completely. He feels Dennis’ presence leave the bed, and he exhales softly, knowing the other man is probably grabbing lube, or-if he’s lucky, something else for his pleasure. His whole body shudders in excitement.

 _“Hurry the fuck up.”_ Mac waits impatiently. He yearns to be touched. As par for the course whenever sex with Dennis is concerned, the eager excitement is always mixed with a feeling far more disconcerting. And despite this not being the first time Dennis has whipped out a blindfold on him, the unease of not knowing what’s happening or what’s going to happen, still takes some getting used to. By the time he feels the bed dip next to him, his nerves are practically on fire.

“Finally,” Mac mutters as he reaches his hands out. Blindly, they find their way around Dennis’ wrists. But he loses them a second later when his boxer briefs are quickly stripped off of him.

He hears a muffled groan and feels a shift in the other man’s position. Dennis is back on top, hovering over him on his hands and knees. “Took you long enough,” Mac murmurs. His hands have barely found their way to Dennis’ hips, desperately eager to pull him closer, when the other man harshly grabs his wrists, and pins them back to the mattress.

His head falls back as a soft, mewling sound escapes his throat. His masochistic side is screaming. He’ll let the other man control the pace. He’s already basking in the exhilaration and the mystery of what Dennis is going to do to him.

A thumb traces over his nipple and Mac forces his hips up, reminding the other man that there’s another part of him that desperately wants to be touch.

His chest heaves when he feels lips pressing against the hollow of his throat. He arches his neck for ease of access. Dennis rolls their hips together and Mac tosses his head back as he gasps. A heavy hand runs down his chest, down his abdomen, and finally wraps around his aching cock.

He shudders, unable to see the touch. But he feels so much. His skin tingles as the bundle of nerves and excitement in his gut grows with each passing second.

He’s just about to berate the other man for taking too long when Dennis’ face brushes against his own. He feels the barest hint of a scratch of stubble against his cheek and pauses. Dennis must have forgotten to shave this morning.

He feels it again when lips re-attach to his throat. The hand wrapped around his cock  _twists_ and he stifles a curse. The feeling of unease grows in his gut, when typically, by this point it would have been overtaken by pure, carnal hunger.

Something doesn’t feel right.

But whatever it is, surely it’s nothing he can’t handle. He always plays along with Dennis’ wicked games. They both get off to it. So he pushes the concern out of his mind and focuses on the warm palm and calloused fingers now pressing along his abdomen. It moves lower and lower until it finally hikes his thigh up against a sturdy hip.

Mac swallows his nerves. A dry finger presses against his hole and traces the rim. His brow furrows as his breathing grows heavier. The distress is harshly different from all the other times they’ve fucked.

He knows something is wrong when Dennis hasn’t said a word. He’s too quiet. Dennis never shuts the hell up.

“Dennis,” Mac demands flatly. “What the fuck-” A finger presses hard against his lips, silencing him.

Mac bites his tongue. He feels just a bit too much out of control, and he can’t figure out why. He’s stepped too far out of the realm of safety. Nothing they’d done before had given him this sense of panic. Not even Dennis’ hands squeezing around his throat. Something is fucked up, and he doesn’t like it.

Something’s wrong.

The casual caress on his hip has him shivering from the curl of fear in his gut. His heart thuds a little harder against his ribs. The hand now moves down his thigh. His skin burns as the warm palm moves to his inner thigh, spreading his tense legs, and then slowly travels up.

The hands on him feel different. The body on top of him feels different.

Dennis’ hands are always cold.

Without thinking, he grabs the hand on his leg and pushes it away. They immediately wrap around both his wrists in an attempt to still his frantic movements. “What the fuck?” Mac forces through clenched teeth, as he struggles to sit up under the other man’s weight.

Mac manages to twist free a hand. He rips off the cloth covering his eyes and  _gapes._

It’s not Dennis, but Sean who stares back at him, looking equally shocked, and a bit like he just found himself in hot water.

Mac blinks to make sure he’s seeing things correctly. Their limbs are tangled. Sean’s hand is still wrapped around his wrist. The guy is frozen, sitting half in his lap. He feels like he just stepped into the fucking Twilight Zone.

It takes a full second for Mac to jump to his senses and push the guy off of him.

_“What the fuck?!”_

Sean stumbles off the bed as Mac jerks away, grabbing the closest pillow to cover himself. He’s so distracted and shaking from the violation that he doesn’t immediately notice the other presence in the room.

And then he can’t unsee it.

Dennis stares back at him from his seat over on the side of the room, his face unreadable. He’s slouched when Mac’s eyes land on him, like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible. He’s got the goddamn camcorder held in his hands and pointed at the bed. The sight is familiar in the worst way possible.

The pieces click together. Mac’s jaw drops in horror.

“You-you said he’d do anything!”

Mac’s head whips between the man who spoke and Dennis. The latter still sits motionless and infuriatingly silent, his lips a pale, thin line as Mac glares at him in rage.

“You said  _what?!”_

He gets no answer. Mac is torn between laughing hysterically and screaming in utter fury. “What the fuck? What the  _fuck?”_ When Dennis won’t meet his eyes, Mac turns his glower to the other man in the room.

Sean looks nervously between the two. Mac thinks beat up and bruised might be a better look on him. He seethes, his hands clenched into fists around their sheets. How the fuck did Dee’s trash end up in their bedroom?

“Get out!” He screams, because apparently the mindless oaf can’t catch a damn

hint.  _“Get the fuck out!”_

Sean jumps into motion, grabbing clothes and shoes discarded along his way to the door. He scurries out without another glance, slamming the door behind him.

And then the only sounds in the room are Mac’s heavy breathing.

He sees Dennis swallow. The camcorder snaps shut. That won’t be one for the collection.

“Dennis, what the  _fuck?!”_ He hopes the other man would have a clear explanation for him.  _Some_ reason for this that’s better than the one running through his head. But the hardened look on Dennis’ face, with shame that just barely seeps through, it tells a completely different story.

Mac throws the pillow in his lap as hard as he can. The other man jumps when it smacks him in the face and upper chest with an oomph.  

“You set this up,” Mac growls. He climbs off the bed, shaking with anger. He grabs his discarded underwear and quickly throws them on. He won’t be any more vulnerable than he has to be for this fight. “What the  _fuck_  is wrong with you?”

He storms over to the other man and Dennis actually flinches like Mac’s going to hit him. He really might. He takes a deep, unsteady breath. He still doesn’t know what the fuck Dennis is playing at. “This is so fucked up,” Mac hisses through his teeth. “ _Sean?_ Are you kidding me, you know I fucking hate that guy! And what, did you actually think I wasn’t going to notice two dicks inside me?”

Dennis finally climbs to his feet. His gaze is still averted but he straightens to his full height. “No, I-I wasn’t going to… I was just going to watch.”

As if that makes it any better.

Mac breathes raggedly. The expression on his face must be wildly dangerous with rage because Dennis still can’t meet his eyes. “So you wanted to watch a stranger fuck me in our bed while I thought it was you?” He shakes his head and laughs breathlessly as a scoff falls from his lips. “Does that get you off? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“It was just… it was supposed to be a surprise,” Dennis croaks.

Mac’s eyebrows nearly fly into his hairline. He shouldn’t have to fucking explain this, but apparently he does. “No, Dennis…” he says slowly. “Bringing home a new  _cock ring_  is a surprise. Bringing a stranger into our bed without my permission or my  _knowledge?_ That’s  _rape.”_

Dennis goes quiet.

“ _Fuck you_  for doing that to me. And  _fuck you_  for thinking I’d be okay with it.”

“I-” Dennis protests weakly but cuts himself off when Mac looks like he’s half ready to strangle him.

“How do you not understand how this works?” Mac screams. He’s at the end of his rope. “You  _fucking_ asshole! What the hell is wrong with you?! Why the  _fuck_ did you want to see someone else fucking me?”

He’s shaking with anger and disgust. He takes a step forward and Dennis stumbles one back. He thought he understood  _them_ , but he’s more confused than ever. He thought he knew what they were, but maybe he’s been clueless this entire time. He thought he knew possessiveness and co-dependency. But there might not be words to describe this particular brand of fucked up.

And then… then he’s struck by a clarity that he’d never had before. All this time, he deluded himself into thinking that Dennis was it for him. That Dennis was everything. That they could be anything close to perfect together. But what is their reality? What is Dennis Reynolds?

“Answer me,” Mac demands softly. “Answer me!”

“I wanted to know what it would feel like.”

Mac’s brow furrows. “What  _what_ would feel like?”

“Watching that…” A beat passes and Dennis bites his lip, finally meeting Mac’s eyes. “I wanted to know if it would hurt.”

Mac swallows. “Did it?”

“Yeah,” Dennis finally answers. “But not as much as I thought.”

Mac scoffs softly. “You are such an asshole.” A tense moment passes with neither of them breaking eye contact. Then Mac grabs Dennis by his bare upper arms and pushes him hard against the wall behind him. The other man puts up a meager protest, but the fight drains out of him when Mac smashes their lips together.

Dennis groans against him and Mac swallows every sound he makes. He’s needy and desperate, pissed off and still shaking from anger. He holds Dennis against him with a hand on the back of his neck. They’re both hard and straining in their boxer briefs. He tastes him on his tongue.  _Feels_ every bit of him. He knows what Dennis is. The man is heaven and hell at the same time.

Mac tears himself away. They’re gasping and panting, and Dennis stares back with wide eyes. “So all this bullshit about me being yours? The fuck is that, huh?”

Dennis licks his swollen lips. “You are mine,” he says softly. “You are.”

Something heavy and unpleasant coils in Mac’s stomach. He pushes down the feeling of nausea. This is who they are. They piss each other off like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Are we still gonna bang?” Mac asks with a scowl and a heavy breath.

“You… you still want to fuck?”

Mac presses their foreheads together. His eyes drop to Dennis’ lips. The other man gasps when he takes his bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it gently before biting down. “Well, now that that tool’s gone…” He murmurs softly.

They’re both panting as Mac grinds their hips together. But Dennis pushes his hand away when it wanders towards the front of his briefs. Mac glances up to see hesitation, which is not something he’s used to seeing on Dennis. It’s a strange look on him.

“What?” Mac asks. “What is it?”

“I-I thought you were mad at me,” Dennis mumbles.

“I am mad at you,” Mac clarifies with a low growl. “You got me all pissed off and full of vinegar. Might as well release tension one way or another, right?”

Dennis avoids his gaze. He visibly swallows.

“What?” Mac demands, indignant and confused. “Now you don’t want me?”

There’s something upsetting lurking behind Dennis’ blue eyes. The man looks torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer. He’s got both hands clenched white-knuckle tight around Mac’s wrists.

“This is so messed up…”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“You’re pissed at me,” Dennis says the obvious.

“Whatever, dude.” Mac huffs and slips a finger beneath the waistband of Dennis’ shorts. “It’s not like he  _actually_  fucked me.”

Dennis gapes. And just like that, something changes. Something akin to realization and horror dawns on him. “I could do anything to you,” Dennis whispers, his eyes rimmed with salt water. “And you would just take it, wouldn’t you?”

“What?”

“I could do anything…” He sounds slightly hysterical now, but Mac doesn’t get it.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Mac’s brow furrows in confusion. He feels the other man’s hot, familiar breath against his lips. A second later he jumps when Dennis’ clenched fists slam into his chest.

“Stop me!” Dennis screams at him.

“What the fuck?!”

Dennis hits him again, his fists thumping hard against his chest. “Go on, tell me to stop!  _Make_ me stop!” Because Dennis knows there’s something so utterly broken between them, but Mac doesn’t  _get it_ yet _._ Mac’s always been the slower of the two of them.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Mac stumbles back a step when Dennis hits him a third time. “Dennis!”

“I’m so fucked up,” Dennis hisses through gritted teeth. “The things I would do to you… The things I’ve done  _for_ you! I almost… I almost…” He trails off and stares at Mac with such pain and horror in his eyes. “You have no idea, do you?”

Mac can already feel bruises blossoming under his skin. “What are you talking about?”

Dennis shakes his head as he seethes. “Stop me,” he growls. “Push me. Fight me! Just do  _something!”_

“No!” Mac exclaims, dumbfounded. Dennis’ eyes are glittering and Mac is so lost, he’s not even sure which fight they’re on. He’s thrown for another loop when Dennis rushes forward, hands like claws suddenly wrap around his throat.

“Why won’t you stop me?” Dennis screams. His nails leave red trails behind them, but Mac still won’t push him away.

“Goddamnit!” Mac struggles to grab the other man’s wrists.  _“Dennis!”_

Dennis gives him a borderline hysterical laugh when Mac finally manages to still him. He goes quiet for a moment. His face so contorted with rage that Mac is suddenly struck still by a thought. Dennis has wrinkles. There are creases in his face that won’t go away. Crow’s feet and dark circles that the man must struggle to cover up. He looks old. They’re getting old.

“Dennis…”

“I hurt you and you won’t do anything about it,” Dennis finally whispers. “I almost hurt myself and… I almost hurt myself because of you. That’s how much I-”

Mac’s jaw drops. His eyes are burning and his cheeks are red. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“We’re so bad… we’re so bad for each other…” Dennis’ fingers slowly relax around his neck before dropping from him completely. He steps to the side, stepping away, and Mac still gapes in confusion.

“Dennis, what the fuck are you-”

Dennis steps back again, avoiding the hand that Mac had reached out for him. “Don’t touch me.” He shakes his head, dropping his gaze. “I-I need to get away. I… I need to…”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mac growls, feeling that familiar anger boiling inside him again. Along with a little bit of hurt. “You’re the one who fucked up here, not me! What the fuck did I do?”

“I have to go,” Dennis mutters. “I have to get out of here.”

“Don’t you fucking walk away from this!”

But Dennis is already grabbing clothes.

Mac shakes and trembles, unable to tear his eyes away. Dennis can’t go. Dennis is nothing without him. “What the fuck?!” He spits as the other man heads for the door.  _“Dennis!”_

A second later, Mac is alone.

**Author's Note:**

> ([x](http://winters-blue-children.tumblr.com))


End file.
